An ode to suckethry

by Elisnarketh Barrett Snarking

How dost thou sucketh? Let me count the ways.
Thou sucketh to the depth and breadth and height
A sucky one can reach when out of sight
Of all resembling fairness in this place.
Thou sucketh for denying every prof's
Most urgent need, whether curtains or light.
Thou sucketh freely, and never seek right;
Thou sucketh purely, all for hollow praise.
Thou sucketh for being of but no use
In politically wrought griefs, all two-faced.
Thou sucketh with a fervor I once mused
Fits plagiarsts, --- thou sucketh to the breadth,
Width, height, of all our campus's strife! --- and, if the Devil choose,
Thou shalt die from smoking too much meth.