Dean's List Devon, Denise, and DeeDee: Yes, I heard you. You are on the Dean's List. Somehow, each of you three geniuses found little ole me to harass on the same day! My online class is DA BOMB, I guess, to have attracted the attention of such high level achievers as yourselves. Too bad your busy lives kept you from registering on time. This class started three weeks ago, and it was full weeks before that. Yes, DeeDee, I heard you; you are on the Dean's list. Now go away.
Sleeper Steve: Once it became apparent that not one of you had read for my lit class today, I had a mini temper tantrum, and then read Dagoberto Gilb's "Love in LA" aloud. It was a bold move, but I really wanted to talk about narrative voice, and it is short and sweet. As a bonus, I knew spending some time reading would improve my mood. I noticed that it calmed you down quite a bit, too. I did not intend it as a bedtime story. You can check my syllabus for the policy of ejecting sleepers from the class. See you next time, Stevo. I can hardly wait.
On the Button Betty: What was it with people today? YES, I know that my class ends at 12:20. I also know that yours does not begin until 12:30, and I did not appreciate your marching in at 12:20 on the dot, walking in front of me, and turning on the overhead while I was still talking to several students. What gives, bitch?
Librarian Lilly: So, you were trying to help one of my online students with her class assignment last night. How sweet. And neither you nor three of your fellow librarians could figure out how to open the attachment for her assignment. Hmmm. So you figured you'd go ahead and send me a note where her assignment should have been attached, explaining that since four librarians could not open the document, I should excuse my poor, sweet, ever so diligent and anxious and overwrought snowflake. Lilly, I know you are the head librarian, and as such, a Very Intelligent Person. But I think it is obvious that you did not take the required orientation to Blackboard Vista. And you did not look at the syllabus, either, or you would have seen that this assignment was posted a full week ago, so this poor girl could have tried to open it some other night besides the one just before it was due. The tone of your note to me, Lilly, is not going to make this student think she ought to try to figure this whole Blackboard thing out.....
Oh, that Betty. She is at my college, too. I want to smack her with a big fish.
ReplyDeleteOpening an attachment. Did they not...click it? With the little pointer thing? I think Lilly et al need more than an orientation to Blackboard...
ReplyDeleteI loathe On the Button Betties. I had an On the Button Barry for a while. He also liked to report me to the department for "stealing campus facilities," i.e. chalk. Except the color chalk was mine and eventually the coordinator got tired of fielding Barry's calls and moved me to a different room. One with a projector!
(It's rather sad that that event is remains a triumph in my life. I need a vacation.)