As I continue to be unable to earn better than a marginally passing grade on coursework and I fear that I will likely fail this class, could you possibly tell me what exactly it is you are looking for in the final paper? I have read the instructions but wanted to ask you directly.
Signed, Marginal
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Dear Marginal,
Though I would like to believe, like the almighty Zeus, my authority is limitless and my power awesome, may I ask where you get the idea that such free-wheeling subjectivity is employed in grading?
You say you have read the instructions. (Doubtful, given the basic errors you continue to make in coursework!)
Have you also read the university-wide rubric for written work? It is detailed and specific about what constitutes a poor, marginal, acceptable and exemplary paper. Could your continually marginal grades be directly related to your inability to separate unsubstantiated opinion from empirical data?
Or what about your insistence on believing you have "checked off" the external source requirement by identifying where you got the definition of navel gazing which, it just so happens, is the parent discipline of this course. (We'll ignore for the moment why you felt it important to include such a basic definition in a nearly-end-of-term assignment.)
Or how about the simple fact that your ability to follow directions is seriously called into question as you STILL (75% through the course) neglect to submit your assignments in the manner specified for all university classes and seem incapable of properly identifying your course in the Email subject line (also a university wide policy.)
Basically, you are asking for a Mad Lib style template so that you can just fill-in the blanks randomly but with a guarantee of a grade you feel is appropriately reflective of your super spectacular flakyosity.
Sorry, don't got one of those.
But I DO have a Zeusian thunderbolt I would be more than happy to throw your way!
OMG I know, right?
ReplyDeleteI am currently rewriting my online course and I am thinking about cutting the essays in half and replacing them with a worksheet hybrid that requires a list of basic facts from the reading and then asks them a more analytic question where they have to write 300 words of analysis of those facts.
I'm just so sick of failing them because they refuse to do the reading. Books, online sources, instructions. If it requires reading, they avoid it like the plague. So how about half their grade come from filling in the blanks and the other half from fucking analyzing the material like I've been asking all along?????
And my Dean is upset that half my students are earning Cs in what he thinks should be a softball course (and it would be a softball course if they would JUST DO THE FRACKEN READING).
Oh, I know the frustration. If they simply followed instructions, their grades would go up because they'd be starting with a C just by doing that. I fear that I now 'reward' those who do simply follow instructions with a higher grade than they deserve because I'm so darned excited that someone bothered to READ the assignment.
ReplyDeleteHere's a conversation with me and an UPPER DIVISION class this week:
Class Designee: Um. We don't know what we're opposed to do on the next paper.
Me: Someone tell me what YOU think you're SUPPOSED to do and then I'll say whether you're on the right track...
Class: *crickets.
Me: OK, then. Everyone take out your syllabus and read the assignment.
OK, now that you've read the assignment, does anyone have any questions about specifics of the paper?
Class Designee: You don't say if his is supposed to be typed or not.
Me: Since when is ANY essay not typed?
Class Designee: Yeah, but you don't say that in the assignment.
Me: Actually, on p. 2 of the syllabus it indicates that all work needs to be typed. This includes 'all work.' Does anyone have any other questions about the paper?
Class Designee: So do you want us to .
Me: Yes.
That only wasted 12 minutes of class time...
Thanks, Contemplative Cynic. Love it.
ReplyDelete