Then I wonder if you'd consider fessing up with a taste of your own current or past job letter. I don't know if I would, but I'd love it if anyone else had the courage.
Dear PERSON’S NAME,
With this cover letter, I want desperately to reveal how I can help RBC excel further. But I’m a teacher, applying for a teaching position, so the answer seems obvious: I will give everything I can to the students, in the classroom and beyond.
As an adjunct since 2007, I have demonstrated this. I’ve been up against it, dealing with the pitfalls of adjunctery, but I have always been able to find sanctuary with students. I just want to be able to do more, in a full-time position that would present me the opportunity to research more, serve the institution, advise students, help with the creative publication, and perform other outside-the-classroom duties. All of this for the students.
My work experience is varied. I’ve spent the last four years in the college classroom, in Blue Ridge Community College’s English department and James Madison University’s School of Writing, Rhetoric, and Technical Communication. I’m also a writer, with a wide variety of publications, including being a regular blogger with The Chronicle of Higher Education. I worked in newspapers, as a writer then editor, for four years. This experience, mixed with my education, has prepared me to be a full-time faculty member. I am laid back, yet I still hold students accountable. Students seem comfortable around me, yet they still perform diligently in the classroom. I give them my all, and they seem to reciprocate. Everything I do is for the students.
Thank you for reviewing my application materials. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
Barf. I have to believe this guy interviewed with administrators. Or that his future colleagues are really into getting their butts licked on a regular basis. Or his future colleagues see someone they can dump a huge amount of their own work on who will take it and ask for more.
ReplyDeleteIt's just weird to see people publicly congratulating themselves for shoveling out such total bullshit. If I'd written that letter I'd spend the rest of my life worrying it would get leaked and people I actually respect might see it.
There is actually an interesting and potentially useful exercise here. It would be interesting to see what job letters for different kinds of positions and institutions look like. I'd love to give my students some of that flava.
ReplyDeleteThat said, these would have to be heavily redacted to conceal any identifying info, which might mean eliminating much of the material that makes a letter compelling. There is also the question of disciplinary differences. Presumably The Beaker's most recent job letter looks a lot different from mine for the simple reason that chemists and historians have to present themselves in very different ways. But that might also be interesting to see, even if it would be of limited utility.
As for the Chronicle piece that inspired the OP, the letter looks nothing like anything I've ever sent out, but it has the virtue of delivering a lot of information in a very short letter, while apparently emphasizing just the things the committee was interested in seeing. So hats off, I say.
I'm also a writer.
ReplyDeleteI beg to differ.
The ad matters, too. I'm really, really hoping that that "how I can help RBC excel further" line comes from the ad. Otherwise, yes, barf. But I've seen plenty of ads that would ask the applicant to say something like that (and I haven't responded, because I couldn't imagine keeping to such a vocabulary for a whole letter, let alone a career. Of course, it's possible that getting my hackles up has made me miss out on some opportunities).
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, except for "adjunctery," which is not a word I would use in a formal letter, it strikes me as a pretty normal and decently-written, if brief, cover letter. I wonder if the author was also up against one of those dastardly character-count boxes?
Okay, "All of this for the students" is a problem (grammatically, if not philosophically), and "Everything I do is for the students," though more grammatical, is repetitious and a bit obvious. But I can imagine the ad, and the institution, for which it would be the right thing to say.
ReplyDeleteThat letter pretty much says "Hello, I am a human ashtray. Please flick your used butts in my mouth." But it is a junor college in the South; maybe they like a little Sacher-Masoch to liven up their boring admin lives?
ReplyDeleteI've shared my successful letters with my program, but I pretty much wouldn't post them online. After all, I want to be able to use an edited version if I ever find myself market bound again, and if a bunch of folks have all created ones similar that would be pretty difficult. :/
ReplyDeleteBut um, they don't look anything like this.
A few years ago we had a very persuasive letter and a terrific visit from a young woman. In her letter she included a paragraph about a favored aunt who was from our city, still lived there, a matriarchal force in her life, etc.
ReplyDeleteNow, we didn't hire her because of that, but I know that paragraph seemed human to me, and I liked her for writing it.
Something in this letter reeks of desperation. Probably the part where he mentions how "desperately" he wants to help. Also, the rest of it.
ReplyDeleteBarf is the word. The kids, I do it for the kids, says Krusty the Klown.
ReplyDelete@Strel: Your assessment is perhaps too kind. To me, it sounds like the writer was volunteering to pick up a case of Vaseline on his way to the new job.
ReplyDeleteBut at the end of the day, I have to agree with Archie: Hats off to this kiddo. He got what he wanted.
Sorry I've been so busy with pressing issues. But a cover letter like this only gets me thumbing through the CV to look for the reason why I'm not hiring this guy.
ReplyDeleteCan I be really honest here? I don't read the cover letters until I've gone over the CV. If the CV tells me what I want to hear, I'll look at the rest more carefully. But I just soooo hate the bullshit bingo on the cover letters (and I especially hate the "I am so impressed with the work of (my name misspelled)" brown nosers. I don't think this is for real.