Here, let me help you with that

So ... here we go again. Asking ourselves how, why, did we end up where we did? Why do we care more about the flakes' education than than do?

Oddly, I actually started this term with a bit of a bounce in my step, a whistle to my tune, etc. 

Then came Frannie the Fucker. 

I get through the first batch of assignments, my good mood mostly intact. I was able to hold my tongue when faced with graduate students who still believe that APA format is merely a suggestion and "review and discuss" means "scan and give your unsubstantiated opinion." 

Then came Frannie the Fucker. 

She got more than the average amount of feedback on her marginally acceptable first assignment. The next day, evening actually (8:30 PM), my student only number rings. Of course I let it go to voicemail. It was Frannie wanting to have a conversation about her assignment. I respond by EMail the next day, reminding Frannie that EMail is preferred at least to start as it relieves us from playing phone tag across time zones (this is a distance program) and gives (me at least) the ability to review a student's concerns and craft a thoughtful response. (In other words, self-medicate before the first draft and be able to review the next morning before sending and remove truly offensive content -- er, offensively truthful content?)

Frannie responds that she really wanted a chat because she wanted to evaluate my "tone." "I don't know you," she begins, "but (BIG RED FLAG!) some of your comments came across to me as sarcastic". She then rebuts eight separate comments. 

Oh, by the way, Frannie is mentally ill. This isn't my opinion. She told me. In her message. 

I send Captain Subtext off duty as I respond to Frannie's rebuttals. I so much wanted to reply with something like: Sarcastic? You used a commentary website as a source and I asked if you realized this was not a scholarly source. I wanted to ask if you were flat out stupid and find out if it was too late to revoke your acceptance to the program.

But ... by the power of Jack (Daniels) ... I didn't. 

I add further to the original comments and respond to the rebuttal and at the end inform Frannie that if she'd still like a call, we could arrange one now that we had addressed the specifics of the assignment. 

She responds by declaring that we will have to agree to disagree about the content of her assignment adding that in her gut she suspects that I am "sarcastic and arrogant" but she'll "push through it in order to learn."

She did, bless her heart, wonder aloud if she jeopardized her standing in class by offering this assessment.

I don't really know what she said after that. I arrogantly stopped reading.