Professor Monkey,Your office hours don't really work for me. I have classes during both times that I cannot afford to miss as I'm also behind in them. My adviser suggested that I re-work my schedule which I did last week and thus I'm behind in the majority of my classes. I work a lot too. Best time for me is 11:00PM-12:00PM Tuesday or 1:00AM-2:00AM Thursdays or anytime on Fridays. Why don't you tell me which time works for you and then you can catch me up in your course.
Student Snowflake
Dear Snowflake.
[...]
HOLY FUCKING SHIT DID YOU JUST ASK ME TO MEET YOU AT 11 AT NIGHT OR 1 IN THE MORNING?? ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY, YOU DISASTROUS STUDENT WHO MISSED THE FIRST THREE WEEKS OF CLASS? GO DIE IN A DITCH. I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU.
Love,
Professor Monkey
Almost as bad as the suggested times is the expectation that you will, "catch [him/her] up in your course." What ever happened to getting notes from another student and studying? I would never have asked a professor to do my work for me because I missed something.
ReplyDeletethat's so funny
ReplyDeleteI have to tell myself they have AM/PM confused - because as retarded as that would be - it's only half as retarded as thinking those times would be possible. And they are probably the more retarded of the two, but I have to be in denial of that possibility or I won't be able to concentrate on anything my 'flakes say this afternoon in lab. I'll just be thinking "Are you retarded too? How retarded are you? Are you retarded enough to hurt people in here, or just retarded enough to fail quietly? Do you need me to tie your shoes or blow your nose before we start?"
@Wombat: rofl! Now all day I'm going to think about you thinking "Are you retarded, too?" You just made my day.
ReplyDeleteDear Snowflake,
ReplyDeletePlease consult the syllabus and the schedule, which are available on the website, for the work you've missed. You'll find a list of the readings to date on the syllabus. I recommend that you find a classmate to give you notes for the missed classes. Once you have done this, and done the readings, I will be happy to see you to discuss anything you're still having trouble with. Friday morning at 10 is best for me.
Yours sincerely,
your genuinely astounded prof. I should catch you up? After you've missed class for three weeks? The hell?
I'm struggling a bit with less-outrageous versions of this. I put my skype name (which I use for professional purposes only; I created it for use in online classes) on my syllabus for the first time this semester, and students are asking for appointments in the evening, on weekends, etc. So far it's only a few, but I'm already thinking about whether I should include it again, at least in classes that have a f2f element. I actually like Skype as a way to conduct conferences and other exchanges that might more typically take place during office hours, but I'm not sure how to limit the times I'm available.
ReplyDeleteI cut off the part of the email when the student explained that they work at a restaurant/night club and would like to meet with me *after work* so those AMs and PMs are dead-on.
ReplyDeleteThe student is dead to me.
(private plea, as someone who has dealt with a sibling affected by mental challenges, can we watch our use of "retarded"?)
sorry
ReplyDeleteI'll try to be better.
They actually MEANT those times? That never occurred to me.
ReplyDeleteCC, re: Skype: "I am available on Skype at the following times (x-y, x-y), and by appointment during regular business hours and on Tuesdays from 7-9 pm."
can they get you into the nightclub without the cover charge??
ReplyDeleteWow--that's taking entitlement to a whole new level. I bet if you agreed to meet with them, they wouldn't show. They can't show to class. Why would they show to a meeting?
ReplyDeleteAs an astronomy prof, these times would in fact work for me. I'd -never- agree to meeting with a student like this during these times, though, since chances are good this child would run crying to the Dean, claiming that you "required" a meeting during these times.
ReplyDelete(I know, because I know another astronomy prof who once offered a class an observing session with telescopes at 5 a.m. Clearly labeling it "OPTIONAL" didn't prevent the ensuing hue and cry.)
Omigod it's Frod! Hi! Welcome back -- we missed you.
ReplyDelete"Go die in a ditch" ... heh heh ... I'm going to use that one myself from now on...[do I need to properly cite the source?]
ReplyDeleteI honestly have students now who come to class on Wednesday after missing Monday and ask me to "email them what they've missed." Um.... what? Many, many students ask this of me, although I have yet to ever do it.
ReplyDelete