If that forwarded email actually only shows the snowflake trademark combination of ignorance, arrogance (I really want to coin a new word, "irrogance", the two show up so often in the same place), entitlement, and narcissistic inability to grasp that there is any chance that she's wrong, OR that nobody cares but her;
If she really thinks that the threat of hourly Facebook updates about how mean everyone is being are likely to frighten the president of the university;
If she really thinks that the threat of an Op Ed piece in "a major newspaper!" which is CERTAIN to be published because she's got CLOSE family members working there! is going to result in her stated goal, of getting her prof fired by noon tomorrow;
If she thinks that claiming she has family working in "major newspapers" makes her special;
If she thinks that claiming that she had to work on this email of complaint during her Winter Break! So it's the University's fault that her PERSONAL time has been taken up with this complaint! And her other classes suffered too! is going to garner her any sympathy; ...
Honestly, these emails display all of the defining characteristics of the snowflake. Every single one, to an acute degree. They can be mined for endless hours of hilarity and enjoyment. But the most enjoyable part? Until she released all these emails, she might have managed to get away with this. It's so rare that snowflakes out themselves in public for the world to see.
...the student runs, sniveling, to her or his helicopter parents over any grade lower than an A-, even though as little as a generation ago teenagers wanted to be independent and would die of embarrassment to be seen in their parents' company...
...during the last week of the course, they realize they are failing, so they ask for a special bonus assignment.
...they write their professors e-mails with no salutation and sign off with "Please get back to me ASAP!!!!!!"
...they ask you for their "grade to date" (because they cannot be bothered to add up the grades on the assignments they have received).
...they spend each and every class texting, and then ask you after class to re-explain in five minutes what you just spent an hour-and-a-half explaining to the rest of the class.
he emails with, "Why did you fail me [even though he failed every midterm and exam]? I tried hard to be your favourite student. What do I need to do to be your favourite student?"
They ask their uncle and grandfather to see the chair of the math dept on behalf of the entire calculus class to complain that, as they had excellent results in A-levels, their repeated zeros on calculus tests indicate that the class is too hard.
A student might be a snowflake if he or she considers a high course average as "failing", whines to their parent that they are doing poorly in the course with an average of only 85 or so percent, and the parent calls the department head to complain.
A student might be a snowflake if, after every exam, he or she wants to know how their classmates did, finds out, becomes upset if they didn't get the highest grade (as they were accustomed to doing in high school), and then claims the exam was "too hard".
A student might be a snowflake if he or she says "Mr. So-and-so doesn't do that in *his* class!" Mr. So-and-so, however, is a lousy teacher, hands out high grades like candy, and encourages snowflakiness.
...he/she has her/his spouse email you to explain that because he/she really enjoyed your class and will always remember ______________(fill in topic from week two), he/she deserves so much more than a D.
....her/his mom, who teaches writing at your college, read her/his illiterate, incomplete term paper and said she would give it "at least" a B. Where do you, a non writing prof, get off giving her/him an F??
...she says, "But my mom always said I was a great writer!"
ReplyDeletehe says, "I'm not going to be able to do the test/project/essay when you need it. But I can do it at this other time that fits my schedule. 'kay?"
ReplyDeleteIf she sends 4000 words of forwarded email around to half the campus to show her side of a dispute with her prof;
ReplyDeleteIf that forwarded email actually only shows the snowflake trademark combination of ignorance, arrogance (I really want to coin a new word, "irrogance", the two show up so often in the same place), entitlement, and narcissistic inability to grasp that there is any chance that she's wrong, OR that nobody cares but her;
If she really thinks that the threat of hourly Facebook updates about how mean everyone is being are likely to frighten the president of the university;
If she really thinks that the threat of an Op Ed piece in "a major newspaper!" which is CERTAIN to be published because she's got CLOSE family members working there! is going to result in her stated goal, of getting her prof fired by noon tomorrow;
If she thinks that claiming she has family working in "major newspapers" makes her special;
If she thinks that claiming that she had to work on this email of complaint during her Winter Break! So it's the University's fault that her PERSONAL time has been taken up with this complaint! And her other classes suffered too! is going to garner her any sympathy; ...
Honestly, these emails display all of the defining characteristics of the snowflake. Every single one, to an acute degree. They can be mined for endless hours of hilarity and enjoyment. But the most enjoyable part? Until she released all these emails, she might have managed to get away with this. It's so rare that snowflakes out themselves in public for the world to see.
...if he or she even begins to enunciate the word "but".
ReplyDelete...the student runs, sniveling, to her or his helicopter parents over any grade lower than an A-, even though as little as a generation ago teenagers wanted to be independent and would die of embarrassment to be seen in their parents' company...
ReplyDelete@Merely Academic:
ReplyDeleteI believe the word you are seeking is "ignoranus" (meaning both ignorant AND an asshole)!
Your student might be a snowflake if....
ReplyDelete...during the last week of the course, they realize they are failing, so they ask for a special bonus assignment.
...they write their professors e-mails with no salutation and sign off with "Please get back to me ASAP!!!!!!"
...they ask you for their "grade to date" (because they cannot be bothered to add up the grades on the assignments they have received).
...they spend each and every class texting, and then ask you after class to re-explain in five minutes what you just spent an hour-and-a-half explaining to the rest of the class.
Buster - ooh. Updating my personal lexicon.
ReplyDeleteThey email you six hours after they turned in their assignment, asking why you haven't graded it yet.
ReplyDeleteIf you hear the words "tried so hard", your student might be a snowflake.
ReplyDeletehe emails with, "Why did you fail me [even though he failed every midterm and exam]? I tried hard to be your favourite student. What do I need to do to be your favourite student?"
ReplyDeleteTheir opening line when challenging a grade is: "But I'm an A student!"
ReplyDeleteThey ask their uncle and grandfather to see the chair of the math dept on behalf of the entire calculus class to complain that, as they had excellent results in A-levels, their repeated zeros on calculus tests indicate that the class is too hard.
ReplyDelete...along the lines of Drunk-in-a-midnight-choir...if you learn from them that you are personally responsible for busting their 4.0 GPA.
ReplyDeleteA student might be a snowflake if he or she considers a high course average as "failing", whines to their parent that they are doing poorly in the course with an average of only 85 or so percent, and the parent calls the department head to complain.
ReplyDeleteA student might be a snowflake if, after every exam, he or she wants to know how their classmates did, finds out, becomes upset if they didn't get the highest grade (as they were accustomed to doing in high school), and then claims the exam was "too hard".
A student might be a snowflake if he or she says "Mr. So-and-so doesn't do that in *his* class!" Mr. So-and-so, however, is a lousy teacher, hands out high grades like candy, and encourages snowflakiness.
...if he apologizes for missing class and says, "This time I have a good excuse. I had a court date for a DUI."
ReplyDelete... if he waves his "D" paper under your nose bellowing "I am an A student!"
...if she uses the extension on the paper granted for illness to plagiarize, and then claims that her medications made her do it.
... if she plagiarizes, then tells the Ministry of Few Consequences that she had to do it because she was failing my class...when she had a B.
...he/she has her/his spouse email you to explain that because he/she really enjoyed your class and will always remember ______________(fill in topic from week two), he/she deserves so much more than a D.
ReplyDelete....her/his mom, who teaches writing at your college, read her/his illiterate, incomplete term paper and said she would give it "at least" a B. Where do you, a non writing prof, get off giving her/him an F??
I can't answer that question, my calculator doesn't have a button for fractions.
ReplyDelete