My colleagues were having an inane-off outside in the hallway all afternoon while I was trying to do some work. I had a bunch of students stopping by on no particular schedule so I just left my door partly ajar.
And I got to hear this:
- Oh, I don't have a television. I mean, I know what kinds of shows are on, but I'd never ever watch them.
- I read somewhere that Newt Gingrich might be Canadian. No, really. It was in an alternative media something.
- Don't you wish that these 90 minute periods were just 2-3 minutes longer sometimes?
- That chair is not the chair I normally have. I know someone switched it. There was a cut on the fabric of mine, but at least it sat up straight. I have half a mind to call someone. But I don't know who's in charge of chairs.
- When your check says some dollars and 91 cents, what happened to the other 9 cents?
- Do you remember when Easter was the drop date? I mean not every Easter. And not every year. But it was one time. When is it now?
- Our son went to that school. There was someone from Armenia there who taught art, and I don't think anymore. I don't know if you can even go back to Armenia.
- This salad is so thick. Do you ever eat there? It's too thick. I feel like gagging it's so thick.
This sounds about right... Outside my office the merits of different vacuum cleaners were debated, as were the reason that those 'mosquito killers' are called that when they don't really kill anything except themselves in suicide dive bombing maneuvers. I also participated in "dressing up" a literary figure with modern-day outfits printed from the interwebs... and listened to two colleagues argue whether In-n-Out uses organic beef.
ReplyDelete...anything to remind us that only one degree separates us from the flakes.
Please do not blame Newt Gingrich on us! Though I suppose he might come from Alberta. Still: no.
ReplyDeleteYou beat me to it... I had the exact same response. In fact, I'm tempted to blame Stephen Harper on the US.
DeleteI have the annoying office manager from Hades directly outside my door. I get to listen to her fantastic opinions ALL F'ing day long, and THEN I get the joy of her butting into my personal conversations as well. I want to glue my door shut.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe worst punishment of all for me is the colleague who recently moved offices to right in front of the restrooms. We (at least for now) still have locked employee restrooms, so when he sees a hapless victim coming, it's obvious what he/she needs to do given the key sticking out and the urgency of the trajectory. He waits till he hears footsteps and then pops out on his unsuspecting victims. Nothing short of rudely turning your back on him, putting the key in the door, and finishing your intended journey by letting the door slam in his face will deter him. Otherwise it's entirely possible you could end up in a 20-minute, one-sided conversation which includes all the topics Hiram mentions, desperately having bodily functions which need attending to all the while. The poor men sometimes even get followed into the restroom. I'm waiting for the day he forgets himself and follows one of the women in.
ReplyDeleteAAAAUUGGGHHH!!! THE STUPIDITY OF THE STUDENTS IS STARTING TO INFECT THE FACULTY!!!!! ALL IS LOST!
ReplyDeleteCalm down; we can save thing through my Commissariat for Smarter Small-Talk. If found babbling the sort of crap any cubicle dweller in an insurance company could say, those faculty members will be put through a rigorous aversion-therapy regimen so that they always have to bring up something worthwhile or their faces go slack and they begin humming "Classical Gas."
DeleteWARNING: I'm going there.
ReplyDelete"This salad is so thick. Do you ever eat there? It's too thick. I feel like gagging it's so thick."
Then apparently you're not tossing the salad correctly.