Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Real Goddamned Mail - Homer Simpson Edition.

Got these emails today from one guy:

  • Hey, is your new moderator a prof at Xxxxxxx College in Xxxxxxx?
  • I just met a guy at my college who says he's one of the moderators at CM. His name is Xxxxxx Xxx. Is that right? I think he's pulling my leg.
  • Xxxxxx, are you reading my emails? If this is really you, put up a Homer Simpson cartoon on the blog so I know. I believe you man, but I gots to have my Homer!
  • Hi, I've written a number of emails this morning and haven't gotten a reply. Could you get back to me?
  • Xxxxx, I call bullshit on you, man. If you're the majordomo of the majordojo, then prove it to me. I'm going to be in my office until 2.
  • Hi, I think some guy is pulling my leg. What's the name of the current moderator? I want to confirm that he's not this guy I work with. Or you can just put up a picture of Homer Simpson. 
  • Dear College Misery, My name is Xxxxxx Xxxxxx. Can you tell me if Xxxxxxx Xxx is affiliated with your blog? I'm trying to confirm something.
  • FUCKER! I bet it's not even you. 
  • Hello, I've sent a number of emails since 9 am and I still haven't heard back. Could someone contact me right away?
  • Xxxxx, I just saw you leave the building, you little shit.

23 comments:

  1. Professor Brown-CowFebruary 21, 2012 at 7:50 PM

    Omfg!

    ReplyDelete
  2. LexFebruary 21, 2012 at 7:51 PM

    Today I did a phone interview, and I'd had so much coffee my hands were shaking the phone whole time. That reminds me of this guy. Also, I'm never going to get a job anywhere, ever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Contingent CassandraFebruary 21, 2012 at 10:36 PM

      Unless you've emailed the committee every 15 minutes since the call ended to ask if they've made a decision yet, I don't think you're in this guy's league.

      Good luck with the job search. With any luck the shaking didn't translate across the wires (or came across as static -- phone connections are getting worse and worse these days).

      Delete
  3. Hellish HarpyFebruary 21, 2012 at 7:55 PM

    Someone needs to go back on their meds...

    ReplyDelete
  4. EC1February 21, 2012 at 8:07 PM

    Minus the swearing, I have an international student who mails me like this.
    What did these people do before email?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Contingent CassandraFebruary 21, 2012 at 8:09 PM

      Left serial answering-machine messages, I think. Or showed up at office hours (and non-office hours) every day. Actually, a few of them still do that.

      Delete
    2. StrelnikovFebruary 21, 2012 at 10:17 PM

      Cussed at truckers on citzens' band radio.

      Dialed random numbers and swore at whomever picked up, even the cops.

      Delete
    3. AnonymousFebruary 21, 2012 at 10:24 PM

      I can say with certainty that some of us grew out of that behavior.

      Delete
    4. StrelnikovFebruary 21, 2012 at 10:31 PM

      Some are born motherfuckers, some are made motherfuckers, and some have their motherfuckerism beaten out of them over time.

      Single Author sounds like a born motherfucker.

      Delete
  5. Contingent CassandraFebruary 21, 2012 at 8:08 PM

    This one needs a "profflake" label, I think.

    Also, kudos to Xxxxxx Xxx for successfully pulling his colleague's leg (and/or thanks to him for moderating).

    And finally, posting Marge is an inspired touch. That ought to keep his head spinning for another hour or two.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousFebruary 21, 2012 at 8:21 PM

    Um, am I the only one to notice that's Marge, not Homer?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Contingent CassandraFebruary 21, 2012 at 10:37 PM

      I figured that posting Marge rather than Homer was a deliberate attempt to f*ck with the emailer's head. Not that it appears to need any more scrambling. . .

      Delete
    2. AnonymousFebruary 21, 2012 at 11:08 PM

      Yes to Fab!!! Fab. For. The. Win.

      Anyone who says "I gots to have my Homer" deserves a Marge kick in the ass.

      Delete
  7. EC1February 21, 2012 at 8:25 PM

    It's Homer in drag.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousFebruary 21, 2012 at 10:24 PM

    Somebody just raised the bar. Honest_Prof has his work cut out for him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Frog and ToadFebruary 21, 2012 at 11:11 PM

      I dunno, is it fair to make douchey compete with crazy? Crazy has its own league for a reason.

      Delete
  9. Frog and ToadFebruary 21, 2012 at 11:12 PM

    Also? LOVE LOVE LOVE the tag on the banner.

    ReplyDelete
  10. The Contemplative CynicFebruary 21, 2012 at 11:56 PM

    I think the "Fucker" in his building is probably going to take out a restraining order pretty soon. That is INSANELY funny.

    ReplyDelete
  11. EC1February 22, 2012 at 12:22 AM

    June 24: the CM "persuade your craziest colleague to mail the mod" day?

    ReplyDelete
  12. BurntChromeFebruary 22, 2012 at 8:17 AM

    I might be wrong, but this kind of shit is *probably* the reason that our moderators have a short shelf life...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. College MiseryFebruary 22, 2012 at 8:19 AM

      What moderators? It's all been automated since 2008. Automated. Automated. Automated. Automate. Auto. Auto. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

      Delete
  13. The Contemplative CynicFebruary 22, 2012 at 5:40 PM

    Must be why there was no immediate response.

    ReplyDelete

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