Dear Procrastinating Patty:
Remember back last spring when Student Affairs said the priority deadline for financial aid was in March and you'd best not put off applying if you wanted your money before the term began?
Remember when, three weeks ago, I emailed you with the ISBN and the admonition you'd need your books the first week of class? Remember how I told you the books could be as much as 75% less if you bought or rented online instead of at the college bookstore?
Remember when, the day before class started, I reminded you the first assignment was due Thursday and you would need your books for it, so if you hadn't gotten them, you'd best get your buns to one of our local bookstores and buy them?
I meant all that shit. Seriously.
Your emailing me the day the first assignment was due to tell me your sad story about how your financial aid hadn't come yet, you wouldn't get paid till Friday, and you couldn't afford to get your books till then had me in tears. I felt so sorry for you since you were too stupid to follow directions. Nevertheless, my department has an enabling, er, a very helpful policy that all major course anthologies are available at the reference desk for three-hour checkout. I pointed you toward that source to get the reading assignments done.
This was Labor Day weekend--you know, that time when those of us who labor actually might take a day off and not check our email so we could have a little fun with what remains of summer. OMG! I didn't check my mail once. You were oh-so-desperate for the readings. You "didn't have time" to go to the library and do the readings or head to the bookstore after work. Would I be so kind as to scan all of them into PDF format and email them to you on a Sunday afternoon during a holiday weekend when I was out of town, nowhere near my books or a scanner, and not inclined to reward your laziness? Hell, no, 24 hours later, I did not and would not commit copyright infringement for you.
Congratulations. You have missed all the work for the entire first week of class. My college says I have to drop you since you are not displaying appropriate behaviors for "successful completion." Hope you learn how to be a college student between now and the next time you attempt this class.
I only WISH my college said I had to drop people. We have a "no drop" policy EVER. Students can drop at any time. We can never drop them. Not even when they're little shitty insubordinate McShits who lie and cause a ruckus in class.
ReplyDeleteDropping for not displaying appropriate behaviors for successful completion? Wowwwww. Trying to imagine that policy in action. My grade averages look wonkey as it is, as students who are getting Fs or Ds can drop at the 11th hour so that in the end it looks like all of my snowflakes are above average.
ReplyDeleteI read this before I left to teach my first class, and part of my opening speech contained the words: BUY YOUR BOOKS.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that this is a thing now. How do you pass a class without buying (or reading) the books?
And I am not allowed to drop either, except on the first day if we have a no-show. They can drop anytime between now and November 12th (two weeks after midterms) for a W. But we're all about retention here at [X].
This is a new policy. I'm going to be very interested to see how the students take it. We've always been allowed to drop for non-attendance, but there was a set number of absences. Our new governing board has a powerful incentive for "success" since any money from the state either already is or soon will be based on satisfactory academic progress.
ReplyDeleteYou know, it could just be student poverty, but if they are truly poor, why didn't they set out to buy the books right after they joined the class? Whatever happened to planning ahead?
ReplyDeleteI thought I had solved this dilemma by leaving a copy of our book on reserve in the library. It is available for a 2-hour checkout.
ReplyDeleteAfter a few class meetings I got a whiney email from a student who was upset and had caused a minor scene when he attempted to check the book out for the ENTIRE SEMESTER. I emailed him back stating that this would defeat the purpose of having a reserve copy for everyone to use. His response, verbatim:
"Well that's not fair. Library books are supposed to be on a first come first served basis. I don't want to have to walk to the library every time I want to read the book."
For the record, the library is next door to the building which houses our department.