Surly Snowflake Throws a Fit

It's the start of a new semester, so those of you who teach, advise, or register students online know what that means:  one or more servers will crash, repeatedly, and tempers will flare. Helpless clerks, advisers, and proffies will catch all kinds of crap for things we can't control. All of a sudden, we have no students, only irate "customers."

Tonight's tale of misery concerns a student I'll call Surly Snowflake. Surly enrolled in my 20th century hamster comparative lit class. He, like every other student, had the information needed to purchase the book three weeks before he needed it. But Surly is not your typical pissed off student. He is Entitled because he belongs to a special group of students whose college is paid for with government funding.  I knew I was already in trouble when Surly informed me the bookstore did not have my book in stock, and their employee stated this was my fault because I allegedly didn't turn in my order till a week before. A quick, professional nastygram complete with my June-dated, emailed order form to the text manager netted me an apology and a promise of disciplinary action. But it was too late. I was already the bad guy for Surly, and he made me pay for it all last week.

Every time the server crashed, any work done not saved would be undone. It crashed randomly and repeatedly from the Friday before classes began until last Thursday. Students needing to be placed into new classes took an average of 30 minutes apiece to be helped, not good at Large Urban Community College with several thousand people needing help.  Those of us putting up online courses watched our work get trashed repeatedly even if we saved every 5 minutes. Add to that the transition to a new LMS and the need to import learning objects from three different systems, and course shells were a mess.

I planned for this. I extended the first assignment's due date, sent the students reading assignments, and told them the shell was messed up, so they should disregard anything they saw unless it was in a few specific spots. Surly ignored this. He emailed me and CCed the entire class three times (note to self: use BCC from now on when emailing the whole class) to complain about how disorganized everything was, how bad the course was, and how the college could never get its act together.  I tried being courteous. I asked for his patience. I told him to follow the directions I sent and ignore other parts of the course as I worked on fixing them. I called him and reviewed what I wanted him to do. We set up a special appointment time so I could walk him through the course the next day. He didn't show or call to cancel.

After missing the first extension, he asked for a second. Since he was being such a jerk and my plate is full enough, I gave it to him.  He didn't use it. He did, however, ask for a third extension over Labor Day weekend. I gave that to him to with the caveat it absolutely, positively had to be done by last night and he needed to let me know when so I could be online when he was working in case any problems arose. He didn't even bother to check his email until 10 minutes before the deadline. Then he told me I needed to "do the right thing" and give him yet another extension, castigated me for how "stupid" the first assignment was anyway, and proceeded to bitch and moan further about how terrible the class was. He was the ONLY student in the class who didn't turn in the assignment on the first extension. I declined the opportunity to be further abused and told him about other classes he could sign up for later in the term to finish his degree.

The temper fit was complete with his final email. Note that the first "useless" assignment he needed to complete involved taking a mini-course in the new LMS and then demonstrating through a test that he could use it:

I will not be attending anymore classes at Large Urban Community College for this reason. I did not complete the course due to not being able to figure out [the LMS]. I tried various difference methods and could not figure it out until Friday and when I finally found the quiz on Saturday it was locked on the vary day it said it was due. Its fine that you will not help me. The Department of My Special Government-Funded Group will hear my complaint that will be taken to the administration board at Large Urban Community College. Whether or not they refund our government the money they invested in this course and the book that will now go in the trash for it is useless to me now, I thank you for not helping me on my goal of completing my degree plan.

 

Well, I guess he showed me. He didn't come for his appointment Friday, didn't follow directions, didn't tell me exactly what his problem was, asked for extensions he never used, and now, with two classes to go, has decided he's not going to graduate because one week of my course was so terrible.  I scarred him so badly he can't even sign up for a class with someone else or figure out how to return a textbook. Who knew my powers were so strong?

 

I should remember to take my own advice: the ones who bitch the most at the beginning of the term will always come back to bite me in the ass. I can't please them no matter what I do, so I may as well not even try.