tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post4732046907430915222..comments2023-10-15T04:23:50.187-04:00Comments on College Misery: (Not) Hot for StudentUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-78143957138660065172010-07-12T02:43:07.644-04:002010-07-12T02:43:07.644-04:00That last is essentially the rule at my uni. Wher...That last is essentially the rule at my uni. Where there is no conflict of interest, there is no issue.Merely Academichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00452389428113097744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-69722921767412444242010-07-12T00:27:46.818-04:002010-07-12T00:27:46.818-04:00A rule need not be so hard and fast. Why not a rul...A rule need not be so hard and fast. Why not a rule that says, "Don't fuck someone you could exert power over and don't enter a role (e.g., diss. committee member) through which you could exert power over someone you're fucking, except in extremely special cases"?The Arrogant Studenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06835926555956872714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-67985277306261190952010-07-11T22:13:16.390-04:002010-07-11T22:13:16.390-04:00Writing a rule is so cut and dried. The icky ones...Writing a rule is so cut and dried. The icky ones are obvious, what about the less-so?<br /><br />Mid-career grad student back (during this shitty job season) for a MS or tech PhD. Meets a young, nubile, humanities prof in local bar. They hit it off, go back to one of their apartments and bump nasties. This would seem to be completely appropriate and completely against a written rule.<br /><Alan From Apexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01366176105581248496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-16606066508609378872010-07-11T16:22:49.643-04:002010-07-11T16:22:49.643-04:00It's not ethical and should be banned if the f...It's not ethical and should be banned if the faculty member has any influence over the student's grades or is otherwise in a position of power and influence. Even if not, it's probably not a good idea if there's a big difference in age or maturity. I know a professor who treats the freshman class as his personal dating pool, selecting the most naive and impressionable young woman Programming Pattyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03838328277067778125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-76260643403477786342010-07-11T13:39:40.419-04:002010-07-11T13:39:40.419-04:00I tend to have crushes on some of my professors, b...I tend to have crushes on some of my professors, but that's where it ends...it stays as a crush. Not only because most of the professors I have a crush on are married, but because 1) I know that my feelings for my professors generally have another root cause which would not be conducive to a relationship 2) I don’t want my academic achievements or lack thereof to be based on who I am dating. theominaihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15808999889991590377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-77593062153465282852010-07-11T11:53:19.905-04:002010-07-11T11:53:19.905-04:00Ah, but we know what we know. To the outside worl...Ah, but we know what we know. To the outside world, academe is so exciting, glamorous, and full of hidden wizardly powers! That's why they keep cutting our funding - they're afraid we'll take over.Merely Academichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00452389428113097744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-81103306224532386772010-07-11T07:33:06.347-04:002010-07-11T07:33:06.347-04:00Here here, Calico! I love that when I go home, I ...Here here, Calico! I love that when I go home, I am completely removed from academia!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-19898701784058004872010-07-11T07:04:39.588-04:002010-07-11T07:04:39.588-04:00why would anyone want to date or marry an academic...why would anyone want to date or marry an academic? I see enough of them all damn day.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-7196721862831704652010-07-10T17:43:07.713-04:002010-07-10T17:43:07.713-04:00There is no problem with prof/prof relationships s...There is no problem with prof/prof relationships so long as there is no 'conflict of interest' (that is, my husband, a prof in my university though not my department, would not serve on any committee that decided my tenure/promotion/grant applications). I don't see any ick factor. It's entirely possible most of our students don't know we're married, but it's not Merely Academichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00452389428113097744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-4913918103082200832010-07-10T16:12:03.353-04:002010-07-10T16:12:03.353-04:00Relations between students and professors are ever...Relations between students and professors are everso highly frowned upon at my university. In fact, relationships between professors and professors in different departments are kept so discreet, I didn't realize my favorite professor was married to another professor until I stumbled upon the information in a radio address they did together. And they work down the hall from each other. <br Archaeo-lab-girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12897500334875273096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-4799756485039823952010-07-10T16:06:57.292-04:002010-07-10T16:06:57.292-04:00PLUS! One last thought...
Remember the first day...PLUS! One last thought...<br /><br />Remember the first day of class in the Fall, when the students are all tanned and buff and fresh and wearing skimpy clothing? Remember looking out at them and you see a few who are do-able or even attract your lingering eyeball once or twice?<br /><br />Then remember that 1st assignment and you find out they're about as bright as a pile of logs?<br /><brAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-18859526724789783882010-07-10T16:01:03.700-04:002010-07-10T16:01:03.700-04:00I think it makes perfect sense to avoid relationsh...I think it makes perfect sense to avoid relationships between students and their teachers, whatever the ages. Here's an example. My boyfriend is ABD and teaching. We're in the same department. And the rules would allow me to take one of his classes, since we have a preexisting relationship which the department is aware of (we hang out with the professors and graduate students Kimmyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11334420321987604453noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-68306085978810034012010-07-10T15:58:39.194-04:002010-07-10T15:58:39.194-04:00Two grad school stories of relevance here:
#1 - 5...Two grad school stories of relevance here:<br /><br />#1 - 50-ish "affiliate" (better term for adjunct) male professor, "bad" marriage, adult kids, well-respected, well-liked started a relationship with 1st year 30-ish female grad student he was mentoring. Kept hush-hush until he abruptly divorced wife, impregnated grad student, then quickly married. <br /><br />Ick-factor Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-19274491995670503802010-07-10T15:51:36.572-04:002010-07-10T15:51:36.572-04:00One more year for me, too, Lab Girl. And then it&...One more year for me, too, Lab Girl. And then it's time to pay back this lovely small liberal arts school with a degree in religion. Fun times...<br /><br />Regarding Procris's comment... students with any respect for their professors should know better than to hit on them, especially with a policy like that in effect. Even though you didn't pursue anything (or even realize the Andréahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10545896765853101419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-4177217022225229942010-07-10T15:45:25.335-04:002010-07-10T15:45:25.335-04:00In my second semester teaching at Big State Colleg...In my second semester teaching at Big State College (freshman comp), I had a student follow me back to my office after class to discuss my opinion on things ranging from prostitution to affirmative action. Since this was at least initially well within the realm of relevant to his research paper on the legalization of prostitution, it didn't seem odd at first. When things wandered fairly off Procrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00381908122802480870noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-47088467775157711562010-07-10T15:40:44.861-04:002010-07-10T15:40:44.861-04:00Exactly. After graduation is an entirely differen...Exactly. After graduation is an entirely different thing. And I am very friendly with many of my professors, men and women both, but we all know that when we're talking about class, or when we're in class, that's not the friendship time. In fact, I can't wait to not be their student so I can talk more broadly with them on many different subjects, but for now I just enjoy the Archaeo-lab-girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12897500334875273096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-63918583266597069142010-07-10T15:29:35.219-04:002010-07-10T15:29:35.219-04:00This is not a prudish hang-up! I have had some ra...This is not a prudish hang-up! I have had some rather attractive professors during my three years at my small liberal arts college, and though I don't think myself to be the most attractive person all of the time, I do know that enough people find me attractive, too. I don't want to wonder if there were ulterior motives for any of my professors to be so willing to spend time helping me Andréahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10545896765853101419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-44657830090033652522010-07-10T15:28:01.932-04:002010-07-10T15:28:01.932-04:00Confession time: I find the power of the mind quit...Confession time: I find the power of the mind quite sexy, and regularly get quite large crushes on my professors. However, even being a non-traditional (read: older) student, I'd NEVER act on that or even show it, because of how markedly unfair the power imbalance is. On both sides. <br /><br />Oh, all the questions that would bring up. Is he/she grading me, or the 'relationship'?Archaeo-lab-girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12897500334875273096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-30152891614117123162010-07-10T15:06:44.847-04:002010-07-10T15:06:44.847-04:00That two people are close in age doesn't erase...That two people are close in age doesn't erase the complications introduced by someone in a position of power banging someone over whom they can exert that power.The Arrogant Studenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06835926555956872714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-41037862685589175132010-07-10T14:57:51.854-04:002010-07-10T14:57:51.854-04:00This discussion seems to assume students are all 1...This discussion seems to assume students are all 19 and professors who sleep with students are old and desperate. What about a 38 year old assistant professor and a 40 year old graduate student? Does this change the rules?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-69516643961485627252010-07-10T13:53:58.894-04:002010-07-10T13:53:58.894-04:00It usually IS against the rules, most places I kno...It usually IS against the rules, most places I know of. Of course, I've heard - and this could just be a rumor - that a few universities can't get rules like that passed due to obstinate faculty, which is amusing and worrisome all at once.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-44232380389369757582010-07-10T12:53:58.443-04:002010-07-10T12:53:58.443-04:00'Cause if you make it against the rules, then ...'Cause if you make it against the rules, then you have to discipline people and show them that actions have consequences. Duh! *eyeroll* [/sarcasm]Archaeo-lab-girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12897500334875273096noreply@blogger.com