tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post5083015324721136987..comments2023-10-15T04:23:50.187-04:00Comments on College Misery: Things They Don't Teach You Before You Become a ProfessorUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-52816098418491552432013-10-07T17:45:57.547-04:002013-10-07T17:45:57.547-04:00Every time I try to draw a penis it ends up lookin...Every time I try to draw a penis it ends up looking like FloridaCambridge0101https://www.blogger.com/profile/12153435765355501551noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-86953091853880714392013-10-07T00:38:14.037-04:002013-10-07T00:38:14.037-04:00I've never contemplated pulling a fire alarm, ...I've never contemplated pulling a fire alarm, but there are times when I wish I could schedule one.The Contemplative Cynichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02088570661592922436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-68929058868597456922013-10-03T21:30:42.293-04:002013-10-03T21:30:42.293-04:00We were having the fire alarm problem at the schoo...We were having the fire alarm problem at the school where I taught. I was a fire cop at the time and caught a student pulling the alarm just as I walked out of the men's room. When I asked him where the fire was, I got the "deer in the headlights" look.<br /><br />The look on the provost's face as I marched him out the front door was also priceless: gr<br /><br />The problem Oldnukehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04791120442174416990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-19899800812518597832013-10-02T03:36:11.142-04:002013-10-02T03:36:11.142-04:00Wonderful! Having once drawn an unfortunately prop...Wonderful! Having once drawn an unfortunately proportioned grain silo, I have a special appreciation for these. And for <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UW9Fiu9IlA4" rel="nofollow">this.</a>Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02906546940408742913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-49573064954886604822013-10-01T20:16:59.733-04:002013-10-01T20:16:59.733-04:00They don't teach you that your job really isn&...They don't teach you that your job really isn't about teaching at all; your job is to keep everybody (students, colleagues, and adminiflakes alike) happy. Dr. Pythonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06642960036498538195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-49018037226098401462013-10-01T19:16:47.019-04:002013-10-01T19:16:47.019-04:00Oh, #1. I try to avoid writing on the board more t...Oh, #1. I try to avoid writing on the board more than necessary because my handwriting SUCKS. Students laugh out loud at it. My drawing? Even worse. At least when I try to draw the US it looks more like a cow than a penis. Or a cow with a penis, which might be worse. Academic Draghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04357849925027627831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-92194886514381731252013-10-01T18:48:49.877-04:002013-10-01T18:48:49.877-04:00FWIW, I've managed to get keys made at Walmart...FWIW, I've managed to get keys made at Walmart where employees don't read the master key and just copy it at will.The Contemplative Cynichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02088570661592922436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-24286442695988751872013-10-01T16:37:00.865-04:002013-10-01T16:37:00.865-04:00#7. #7 cannot be overemphasized. Not adding stude...#7. #7 cannot be overemphasized. Not adding students who show recognizable signs of being chaos-producing is one of the few things that can make a semester go more smoothly, *and* over which a proffie has control. <br /><br />Also, the clock in #4 will be fast if you have a lot of type-A students who set their watches ahead and start wiggling 10 minutes before class is over, and slow if your Contingent Cassandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08161652083031423415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-12412649707547648692013-10-01T16:24:23.646-04:002013-10-01T16:24:23.646-04:00Number 3 actually happened to me yesterday. It wa...Number 3 actually happened to me yesterday. It wasn't even my computer. Professor Chiltepinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10087270705989845484noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-83834637461275734902013-10-01T16:18:31.482-04:002013-10-01T16:18:31.482-04:00Beaker Ben, cue tasteless pickup line: You're ...Beaker Ben, cue tasteless pickup line: You're so smokin' hot, I bet you set off all the fire alarms!The Contemplative Cynichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02088570661592922436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-48019924862843892612013-10-01T16:04:11.494-04:002013-10-01T16:04:11.494-04:00I've set off a few myself when performing chem...I've set off a few myself when performing chemistry demonstrations. Those pesky fire alarms are way too sensitive. I don't generate <i>that</i> much smoke.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-26596638786485140712013-10-01T15:35:11.611-04:002013-10-01T15:35:11.611-04:00I drew a diagram just a few weeks ago to illustrat...I drew a diagram just a few weeks ago to illustrate the path of a tennis ball thrown straight up and caught at the same height. Looked like a penis with one testicle. And despite having taught for 10 years now, I didn't catch it until I was almost finished with the drawing and it was too late. All the engineering boys thought that was hilarious. And every spring, when I do e&m and kshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10758001473313265911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-88480057788410692752013-10-01T14:32:42.836-04:002013-10-01T14:32:42.836-04:00Awesome!Awesome!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-55540987810592116002013-10-01T14:32:42.355-04:002013-10-01T14:32:42.355-04:00Awesome!Awesome!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-1541042540209494902013-10-01T13:51:05.249-04:002013-10-01T13:51:05.249-04:00Oh, we used to get 'em all the time during tes...Oh, we used to get 'em all the time during tests, back when I was a grad student and TA. It was common for students who weren't prepared for a test to get their friends to either pull the fire alarm, or else phone in a bomb threat to the building, while everyone was taking the test. Got to where the large lecture classes that I TA'd in had to be scattered to rooms in multiple Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-80198197088498374172013-10-01T13:42:18.516-04:002013-10-01T13:42:18.516-04:00Classic.Classic.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16403289509523215570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-26004387096290702832013-10-01T12:55:19.471-04:002013-10-01T12:55:19.471-04:00This is one pleasure I have never experienced. Whe...This is one pleasure I have never experienced. When I lived in the residence halls (as a student, not as a faculty member), we had fire drills all the time. We have never had a fire drill in a classroom building. I feel deprived.The Contemplative Cynichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02088570661592922436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-15893876489595536422013-10-01T12:52:39.141-04:002013-10-01T12:52:39.141-04:00P O W !P O W !Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-64143715764560895832013-10-01T12:48:27.454-04:002013-10-01T12:48:27.454-04:00Brilliant list!Brilliant list!Compound Calicohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00059155949950433688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-74521119515073756022013-10-01T12:27:39.386-04:002013-10-01T12:27:39.386-04:00I once attempted to illustrate triangular trade by...I once attempted to illustrate triangular trade by drawing the Atlantic coasts of the continental US, Great Britain and Spain. Despite the presence of Florida, it looked far more like one dog sniffing another's butt. It was very, very hard to recover for the remainder of class.Mrs. Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00398436173535554878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-65657915592630875502013-10-01T11:23:39.434-04:002013-10-01T11:23:39.434-04:00Many years ago, I was startled by a fire drill tha...Many years ago, I was startled by a fire drill that happened while I was giving a test. What a <i>mindfuck</i>. It completely caught me by surprise. One of my colleagues (not a fucktard) had "forgotten" to tell me there was going to be a fire drill. Not long after that, I asked one of my friends on the grounds crew to do #8 to the colleague, to teach him a lesson. For only a few Southern Bubba, Ph.D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12050992903794385204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-67031761748631185962013-10-01T10:56:53.819-04:002013-10-01T10:56:53.819-04:00OMG. This is a Greatest Hits list.OMG. This is a Greatest Hits list.Dr Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10444414777736734711noreply@blogger.com