tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post7912491801743547202..comments2023-10-15T04:23:50.187-04:00Comments on College Misery: "college misery exam panic edition actual student email!" From Eve in Eaton Rapids.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-71032616642081199392013-12-04T18:24:03.509-05:002013-12-04T18:24:03.509-05:00I like PG's answer, but my own reply would pro...I like PG's answer, but my own reply would probably be: "dear student, according to the grading scheme described on the syllabus, you have an F on this course."<br /><br />I'm thinking about including this awesome snowflake email (and my reply) as an "illustration" on the syllabus, the next time I teach an intro class. Peter Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00754472537710161295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-21994369797960764192013-12-04T12:58:15.531-05:002013-12-04T12:58:15.531-05:00They ALL think they're doing better than they ...They ALL think they're doing better than they are. They've been winners through high school. They've been awarded for showing up and only rarely shitting their pants. Of course any kind of real grading will confuse them.<br /><br />LKCollege Miseryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01371354682300032653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-13612257216081460892013-12-04T12:11:04.962-05:002013-12-04T12:11:04.962-05:00Yep. I've had a couple of those students this ...Yep. I've had a couple of those students this semester. I had one email me asking what her grade was (mind you, we've only had three graded assignments, each worth an equal portion of the grade, so not exactly rocket science). I replied that it was in the 30s range. Her response was, predictably, shocked: "I thought I was doing much better!" I asked her what she thought her Iskanderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15890540417632709181noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-46027806654843874642013-12-04T11:14:24.649-05:002013-12-04T11:14:24.649-05:00So now she thinks that your class is a math class....So now she thinks that your class is a math class...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-18037556927755717242013-12-04T09:19:32.763-05:002013-12-04T09:19:32.763-05:00I just had one of these. I said, "If you wan...I just had one of these. I said, "If you want the intellectual exercise of writing the final paper and taking the exam, go for it. But you won't pass the class." She looked dumbfounded. I said, "It's math. Just do the math."Frog and Toadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06377542172335502858noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-7800742191711310762013-12-04T04:41:15.284-05:002013-12-04T04:41:15.284-05:00Gosh, even when I leave off punctuation?Gosh, even when I leave off punctuation?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02906546940408742913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-8017780561811227792013-12-04T04:40:37.902-05:002013-12-04T04:40:37.902-05:00I didn't know Spooner was self-conscious about...I didn't know Spooner was self-conscious about those ...things. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02906546940408742913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-14143314334884795662013-12-04T04:38:24.289-05:002013-12-04T04:38:24.289-05:00Maybe she thinks she has Hermione Granger's ti...Maybe she thinks she has Hermione Granger's time thingy. <br /><br />I will use your prescription for handling a couple of my magically reappearing students.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02906546940408742913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-9503527887366510292013-12-04T01:06:34.503-05:002013-12-04T01:06:34.503-05:00Strelnikov response email:
Greetings to Citizen S...Strelnikov response email:<br /><br />Greetings to Citizen Student X,<br /><br /> You do know the test is on the 19th of the 12th month, yes?<br /><br />If this were the glorious Union of Soviet Socialist Republics in 1936, there would be a good chance you would be arrested for sending such a note due to the Great Terror, viz. the note would Strelnikovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12660962615198939441noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-47885683050502338722013-12-04T00:50:35.124-05:002013-12-04T00:50:35.124-05:00You are nifty and I like you.
You are nifty and I like you.<br />Professor Chiltepinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10087270705989845484noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-53335486083939776392013-12-04T00:43:26.160-05:002013-12-04T00:43:26.160-05:00I hope my e-mail will not upset you or raise quest...I hope my e-mail will not upset you or raise questions about my high regard for you. However, I have to admit that I have not had any thought regarding you due to other students I have who are more important because they attend class.<br /><br />At first I thought I would put my 100% thought on those students, but now I have found some time to respond to your email. However I have no informationAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02906546940408742913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-50100183310087574002013-12-03T18:50:53.233-05:002013-12-03T18:50:53.233-05:00The Reverend William Spooner was a historian and W...The Reverend William Spooner was a historian and Warden at New College in Oxford. He had a curious speech impediment, in which he would transpose syllables. His perspective would be interesting, since he had a similar case, in which he was seen angrily saying to a student:<br /><br />"You have hissed all my mystery lectures, and have tasted the whole worm!"<br /><br />(Later in life, heFroderick Frankenstien from Fresnohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11653942918068535424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-50445187667042422872013-12-03T18:27:13.552-05:002013-12-03T18:27:13.552-05:00The lack of self-awareness is a delight. But what...The lack of self-awareness is a delight. But what gets me most is the lack of awareness about what it takes to learn a topic. Like, she just assumes that we stretch out our material to cover 16 weeks but really you could just get it all in an email just before the exam. Does she imagine that professors are a very long-lived species, moving at the glacial pace of a tortoise's thoughts? Or Professor Chiltepinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10087270705989845484noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-16701429766752243222013-12-03T17:40:58.025-05:002013-12-03T17:40:58.025-05:00This is one of the funniest things I've read t...This is one of the funniest things I've read today. Right up there with some of the worst sentences from the batch of research essays I am correcting.....Bellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15686242633678466958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-48341899426194715352013-12-03T15:31:46.046-05:002013-12-03T15:31:46.046-05:00I love that it ends with "Kind regards,"...I love that it ends with "Kind regards," as if a few kind words could somehow negate the ballsiness of the request.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14298623277254751613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-75444766799632772512013-12-03T13:52:06.151-05:002013-12-03T13:52:06.151-05:00Rest assured that you will receive the grade you d...Rest assured that you will receive the grade you deserve in this class.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-56561958677566442072013-12-03T13:26:32.024-05:002013-12-03T13:26:32.024-05:00Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
The above is m...Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! <br />The above is my first thought, a stalling mechanism to figure out a dastardly-between-the-lines-snarky answer to this desperate plea. CrayonEaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10126396989880932207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-41340168397248600332013-12-03T12:58:49.403-05:002013-12-03T12:58:49.403-05:00"How can I prepare myself in the best possibl..."How can I prepare myself in the best possible way for this after I have missed everything up until now?"<br /><br />Build a time machine.Academic Charlotte Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06617435890922621735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-43197045598870436422013-12-03T12:57:06.502-05:002013-12-03T12:57:06.502-05:00Oh, this made me giddy! Attaching a "drop&quo...Oh, this made me giddy! Attaching a "drop" slip to the email is possible, right? :)The Contemplative Cynichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02088570661592922436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-85286562572242112472013-12-03T12:35:50.557-05:002013-12-03T12:35:50.557-05:00Don't worry about it. After your fifth absenc...Don't worry about it. After your fifth absence you were automatically dropped.Garyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331203839723194193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-7760488763720733822013-12-03T12:32:36.860-05:002013-12-03T12:32:36.860-05:00Could you please tell me what kind of an exam I ca...<i>Could you please tell me what kind of an exam I can expect on the 17th of december?</i><br />A very, very difficult one<br /><i>And is it normal that I don't have a notice of this exam in my timetable?</i><br />It is if you haven't been to class all semester.<br /><i>I have read somewhere that we need to write an essay or something?</i><br />That sounds about right.<br /><i>How can I Sawyer in Student Serviceshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16463333151790071057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-1897026524121980242013-12-03T12:30:06.324-05:002013-12-03T12:30:06.324-05:00OMG that's AWESOME.OMG that's AWESOME. Polar Bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09713477095763100821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-41151574042784702332013-12-03T12:04:50.888-05:002013-12-03T12:04:50.888-05:00Really? Truly? This isn't some sort of third-d...Really? Truly? This isn't some sort of third-day-of-Advent present for us? Can you simply say "I understand your desire to complete this course successfully, but given everything you say in your e-mail I don't believe you can catch up at this late date. If you feel otherwise, please come see me in my office." And then you can be a bit more forceful without any paper-trail. <br /Doctor BPDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15077311480386412339noreply@blogger.com