Sunday, October 21, 2012

Kunstnik Got Fucked on Office Space.

I teach a popular topic that we might call String Theory for Ducks, a discipline that is frequently considered fluff, but, of course, isn't. Such a topic requires specific physical facilities in order to properly teach this subject, not mention this topic needs space to store all the technology used in the study and production of String Theory for Ducks. Alas, I have no such facility, unless you count my office. People ask, when they visit me, if my office is a storage room. I routinely knock things over, and to get things out, you have to move things out of the office.

To make matters worse, my classrooms are usually across campus, and in small lecture rooms. In order to teach this String Theory properly, I must drag the relevant equipment to the classroom. I have purchased a grocery cart for this activity, the sort of cart used by elderly people to carry groceries home. Sometimes, I am fortunate to have a band of students help me carry these items back and forth. Often, I am left trying to open a door, while pushing a cart and carrying a heavy tote bag.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Weekend Thirsty. No Wonder College is So Miserable. We Don't Have Any Good Jokes.

Linus from Liberal sends this note in:

I'm giving a presentation to 100 college sophomores next Monday. They are in an accelerated track in my daughter's school. I wanted to work a couple of college-related jokes into my talk, or adapt them to some stories, so I did some fruitless Google searches.

Here's what I've found:


So, a pig
walks into a bar...
“So, thundered Greg’s furious father, “you have been expelled from college, have you?”
“Yes, Dad. I am a fugitive from a brain gang.”

[+]

“Now my motto in life,” said the school chaplain, “is work hard, play hard and pray hard. How about you, Harriet?”
“My motto is let bygones be bygones.”
“That’s good. Why did you choose that?”
“Then I wouldn’t have to take any history classes!”

[+]

A son his calling his mom from college, and telling her that he had just got his degree. The mother says: That's great honey! What kind of degree? And the son, almost squealing with excitement says: The best one ever, a Celsius degree!

[+]

A college student said to his mother, “I decided that I want to be a political science major and that I want to clean up the mess in the world!”
“That is very nice,” muted his mother. “You can go upstairs and start with your room.”



Q: Do you know any GOOD college jokes?