Friday, October 5, 2012

A Reminder From Old Walt.

Despite my incredible crazzy schedule of torturing my Asian grad students (most who seem quite happy scarfing down the FREE pepperoni pizza I bring in on Monday afternoons) hunting bats down by the caves, and driving my LeMans as fast as I can out of town on Bee Cave Road, I occasionally log on to see how things have been fucked up here at the Mizery.

And yesterday just reminded me what a terrific thing this site (or its original at least) started out to be.

But my complaints from 2009 (in part reprinted below) hold true.

What on motherfucking Christ are you people doing? Y'all forced the frail and tortured Fab to cut out Ben's posts yesterday because of a dog-eater comment? And he wasn't sorrowful over making them, so you tortured him in comments over 2 days?

Let it go off your back. You know how many times I hear shit I don't like in a typical day? I hear worse shit than that in the faculty lounge every single morning while I'm trying to get past the other egghead Bio assholes in order to get the last of Marjorie's cream cheese dip out of the doublewide fridge. People say stupid things. People use stereotypes as a sort of shorthand. It's not RIGHT, for fuck's sake. Are you so deluded into thinking that this blog is under some license from the government to be right, to act right, to do right?

Do you think if you excise the dogeater comment from yesterday's blog that somehow you've taken a huge step toward your just rewards? Fuck, it would have been on page 2 of the blog in another 48 hours. And you know what page 2 of a blog is like? It's like page 9 fucking million.

Were you fearful of the derision of people who don't read the blog? Were you fearful that the public view of academe would drop? Y'all got to get your heads out of your asses.

Do you think Beaker Ben (a fellow scientist, I might add, play it closer to the vest, brother, with these stooges) thinks all Asians are dog-eaters, or that his made up student is, or that somehow that means he looks down on Asians, all of them, that he somehow holds some power over Asians' rights to procreate, to create camera-toting, small-dicked, bad-driving little Asian boys and girls to fill up my lab at $16,900 a semester? And if Ben does hate Asians and thinks they're awful, well fuck him. He ain't you. He's not your president. He's not your brother. You going to stomp out all that is wrong on the Internet? Well, get to it. I'd start with PerezHilton.com, personally, and then head over to the 4chan forums.

Why does this page exist? Y'all have to ask yourselves that, and then if it ain't the right place for you to explore during your office hours, then move along.

Wicked Walter from Waxahachie.


[+]



Mission Accomplished. WW from W Rings the Death Knell.


"...all eyes on me in the center of the ring, just like a circus."


Well, y'all said you wanted to do it, and you did. We used to have the crazzy times here, we really did. We used to howl at the moon, drive with the windows down. We used to call it little and we used to love it. But not anymore.

You done killed the site.

The desperation just pours off the screen. Your need to be liked, your need to be professional. You get your name linked on the Chronicle and Inside Higher Ed pretty regular now, so you must be worth something, right?

Yep, you've killed it. And it was a shame, too, because you didn't have to.

I've watched the site almost from the start, and it's dismal what you've done. This place used to be a lot more real, a lot more fun, and a lot more wicked.

I loved this site. I think a lot of longtime readers did. And now the place is all clean and well lighted (and heavily advertised!) and it's just another mainstream piece of bullshit. You know what it means if an idea has 75% of the faculty in favor of it? It's a colossal waste of time. If you let 5 academics run anything, it turns into the biggest fucking mess since the Bay of Pigs. (See, I read my history, too.)

My friends, you have killed it, a fresh fucking idea. It was better when it wasn't all so popular. I know you like the mail and the hits and the pageviews, and I'm sure those Nazis at Google probably reward you for increasing the ad units, but what are you doing this page for?

Are you needy? Are you shallow and pathetic and in need of someone telling you - "Hey, your little page is nice!"

If you're adults and still in need of that, then there's nothing I can say that can help you.

You done killed it. And I hate you for it.



15 comments:

  1. Hi. I guess I'm what some of you call an "other." I've been a reader of RYS and CM for about 5 years now. I love that this place exists, and I take great comfort in knowing that there are academics out there who think like me.

    I write to Fab every few weeks to share my own thoughts on issues, but have only commented one time before - eons ago - and I can't even remember what name I used.

    But I wanted to say that I think Walt is on to something here. I know he's likely just a meek academic hiding in his lab and not at all like his persona, but his persona is right then.

    This place needs to be a little irreverent and profane and less concerned with being clean and well lit. (And advertised, seriously.)

    I don't think Beaker Ben's posts should have been taken down. If you don't like Beaker Ben's attempt at humor, well, this is what it's like to live around other people. If it was so offensive you don't want to read his posts, then don't.

    If you think somehow Fab is condoning racism, then don't read the whole site. Find something else to do or love or whatever.

    But censoring, even a little, takes away the freedom that makes this place so much fun.

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  2. I find it amazing that we have had Walt and Yaro on the same blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But never posting at the same time. Hmm...

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    2. Yes, that's part of the fun of it. And I wouldn't want to see that change, but I don't really feel it's in danger of doing so either. I'm old enough to remember when people complained that mandatory seatbelt use would take all the fun out of driving. But it didn't (and people still manage to kill themselves driving anyway, and not only because they're texting, though that doesn't help). A few reasonable restraints don't mean complete loss of freedom. Shades of gray do exist.

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    3. I forgot the super secret insider's-only detail that Yaro and Dick are the same person as Fab, Cal, Ben, and Stella. And Streli, of course.

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    4. > But never posting at the same time. Hmm...

      Quite right. Hmmm... Ever notice you never see Peter Parker and Spiderman in the same place at the same time, either?

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  3. I have to admit it----I also don't get it. I hope Ben sticks around because many of his posts are funny and insightful. Both the "awards" one and the other new one-----I can't even remember what it was called, but I knew I could not relate to either one after reading the first few sentences or so, so I never read whatever was offensive. I like the student complaints on this site----that's what I read here. That's really all I read here, except for the occasional colleague complaints. I like those too. There is other stuff here that I don't enjoy so much. So I skip it. Why is that so hard?

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  4. Walt, you old salt-licker. I miss our exchanges from the "goon old days." I have BOC's "Don't Fear the Reaper" on Spotify right now.

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  5. Walt has pinpointed the key issue, I think: Ben needs to stop giving his students awards (even fictional ones) and feed them pizza instead.

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  6. Walt, you are one crazzy motherfucker. Ever see "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"? As no less than Mick Jagger observed, horrible, wasn't it? Is that really what they do down there in Waxahachie? They sure don't discover Higgs bosons.

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  7. Glad you came out of hiding to rant. I hope the site doesn't die, because I love it here.

    I would have preferred the dialogue to continue rather than be shut down, but I also understand the moderators' need to maintain rules over what I thought of as an attempt at humor.

    Ben, see what happens when you give awards?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yeah, you know what? There was too much dick-swinging white dudery on the old RYS. If I want to read racist crap I will go over to the comments section of my local online rag.

    Guess what? You can be funny without demeaning whole groups of people. I don't care if the thing was left up or taken down; I like Ben sometimes and then again sometimes think he's full of shit but I hope he stays. The larger point here is that no, it's really not OK to call people dog-eaters and hold the Ph.D. at the same time (or have any pretense to being edumacated), and the moderator gets to decide what to do about it.

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  9. Having China pay $16,900 per hamster might just fix the economy. It just might.

    Just like killing Big-Bird and feeding it to them would as well.

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  10. I'm with Walt; for that matter, I'd like to see more of his posts. Jesus, Mary and Joseph on a tandem bicycle, people, grow some skin.

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  11. Walt's right. There's way too much wangsty bullshit lately and not nearly enough smack. But Fab wants to be liked, and EMH wants more pageviews than he can get on his own blog, so what are you going to do.

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