Monday, February 18, 2013

RYS Flashback. Six Years Ago on RateYourStudents.


What Else Can We Say Except, "Well, Get Your Rock On, Dude"

Dear Professor,

Hi. This is sort of a strange request, but I was wondering if you could email my mom to let her know that my conduct has improved in class since last semester. My band is playing a huge show this Friday night that she really doesn't think I should play because of the F I got on my first test.

However, I think I should play because it's my favorite thing to do. Anyways, you know how that goes. I think she would appreciate an email from my professor just saying I've improved my conduct and could pass the class with an acceptable grade.

That is an assumption on my part, but if you feel the same way, could you just email her at Her name is Patricia or Pat. I would appreciate it a ton.

I hope you have a great weekend and I'll email you before next class about my paper topic.



  1. Dear X's mom,
    I am writing to you on request of your offspring on support of her request to attend a show with her band. X's conduct, in general terms and in my class, has improved to the point where she could pass my class if she aced all the assignments with grades at least or above 123%. More importantly, attending this concert will enable X to follow her dreams: a future life of luxury and affluence, of polymorphous intercourse, interesting chemicals, and occasional music which will carry her much farther than studies will. Or, at least, much faster.
    College experience is only a part of life experience, and I am certain you'll agree with me that the $200000 country club four-year bill should not hinder your spawn from striving for excellence.
    Most respectfully,

    French Professeur

  2. Dear Patricia or Pat,

    I'm not sure which to call you, as your son has indicated a degree of uncertainty as to just what your name is. Knowing that your son does not know your name, I would be remiss if I were to write in support of your son's desire to play at his concert on Friday night in lieu of his studies.

    Given your son's presence at my institution, however, I am unable to fathom quite why X is subject to your desires when it comes to activities. He is, after all, an adult in the eyes of the law, so I can only imagine that your son must obey you for some reason superceding his legal status.

    Given the above and your son's uncertainty about your name, I am led to believe that your son may not be fit for university-level education. Indeed, his studies will probably be for naught if his performance thus far is indicative. Perhaps you should consider allowing your son to leave his studies entirely, so that they do not hinder his path to a career as a DJ once his band is found to lack any potential for marketability. Then he can perform at his show unburdened by his grades and everyone can be happy.

    Most respectfully,


  3. I'd say:

    "YOU talk to your mom. Leave me OUT of it!"


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