tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post1478117720037420201..comments2023-10-15T04:23:50.187-04:00Comments on College Misery: Fantasy MomentUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-1192592546263437312012-03-31T13:40:03.514-04:002012-03-31T13:40:03.514-04:00"Also, $500M, or $640M for the ticket that wa..."Also, $500M, or $640M for the ticket that was sold in Maryland, won't get you very far in the space launch business."<br /><br />Not if you don't use North Korean-style slave labor.<br /><br />"I trust that "return him safely to the Earth" is part of the deal?" <br /><br />You're setting up a COLONY, son!Strelnikovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12660962615198939441noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-79010175509174289962012-03-31T08:10:06.690-04:002012-03-31T08:10:06.690-04:00@Strel: I hate to tell you, but in the long-runnin...@Strel: I hate to tell you, but in the long-running argument of humans versus machines in space, this is an argument against humans, since you could burn up the campus just as well with a robotic vehicle. I trust that "return him safely to the Earth" is part of the deal? Leave Bubbles out of this: after the experiments with the Grape Nehi, he's no longer flight qualified. Also, $Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-26699470921119914212012-03-31T02:29:21.126-04:002012-03-31T02:29:21.126-04:00I would secretly build a giant Moon rocket launchi...I would secretly build a giant Moon rocket launching pad under the school a la "Thunderbirds" mode and on the day where everybody is on campus I would put Froedrick and Bubbles in the capsule on the top, then mash the big red LAUNCH! button. A giant trapdoor would open on the quad, killing a number of tuneless guitar players and sleeping co-eds, then the rocket ("X-1 THE Strelnikovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12660962615198939441noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-82228283176323446172012-03-30T18:54:36.003-04:002012-03-30T18:54:36.003-04:00I would the equivalent of what they have done for ...I would the equivalent of what they have done for me - nothing.Nicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12653265363298375065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-4845887704232787292012-03-30T14:43:49.619-04:002012-03-30T14:43:49.619-04:00I think that's what my proposal amounts to, wi...I think that's what my proposal amounts to, within the bounds of the assignment as originally posted. I would essentially re-do my university from scratch, but it would still be the same university. Many of the same people would still work there and most of the infrastructure would stay.AdjunctSlavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17025851491072402087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-82627963170363229662012-03-30T14:41:01.667-04:002012-03-30T14:41:01.667-04:00I'm stunned at the institutional thinking here...I'm stunned at the institutional thinking here.<br /><br />If you have this much money, and you really want to spend it on an educational endeavor, then you start your own university from scratch.<br /><br />Clean slate. All the problems you're trying to patch with little band-aids go away. You run it the way you want, you staff it the way you want, you set the admissions policies you Adjunct4Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06034561271636507022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-5866036094776480962012-03-30T13:19:12.601-04:002012-03-30T13:19:12.601-04:00Endow my library to ensure sufficient staff and al...Endow my library to ensure sufficient staff and allow for decent collection development. Nothing I can do to relocate it out of Michigan, so I'd quit for sure and let some other [expletive deleted] enjoy my job.Walt Lessunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06543175448330140638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-86451122921244596622012-03-30T11:52:56.078-04:002012-03-30T11:52:56.078-04:00Endow a chair in my department so long as I got to...Endow a chair in my department so long as I got to hold it until retirement. <br />Donate towards a fund to hire more TT positions in my department and pay any adjuncts a decent wage.<br />Give the library some money for more books and to give the librarians a raise.<br />Donate enough money to give the cleaning staff/maintenance folks a raise.<br />Heat the pool!<br />Set up a scholarship for aMiddle-Aged and Morosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04046076243513948921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-14584431054072015982012-03-30T11:34:44.282-04:002012-03-30T11:34:44.282-04:00I'd quit. That's the VERY best thing I co...I'd quit. That's the VERY best thing I could do for my college -- I'm sure they'd think it invaluable.Finnfanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02282896112304604873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-44339256080925449412012-03-30T09:55:22.906-04:002012-03-30T09:55:22.906-04:00I didn't even think about having the influence...I didn't even think about having the influence to fire those people who spend their day playing solitaire. That's an excellent idea.<br /><br />Adjunct abuse is an important issue to me. I think I might use it to create leverage with my R1 University so we could create a national center for adjuncts. I'd use the money to hold people over while a national unionizing project went on. <Academic Monkeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07086078244493768565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-81376468532153864122012-03-30T09:49:21.454-04:002012-03-30T09:49:21.454-04:00I'd give the college mucho dinero, so we could...I'd give the college mucho dinero, so we could get rid of open enrollment.David from Sesame Streethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12374814004243962910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-81755908097339341622012-03-30T07:54:24.379-04:002012-03-30T07:54:24.379-04:00In other words, I would make a "BECAUSE FUCK ...<i>In other words, I would make a "BECAUSE FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHY" donation.</i><br /><br />Ah, I understand and empathize. But you would be feeding the system. They will have learned that all they have to do is cut funding for something and "presto," some concerned philanthropist will intervene and provide the money. Meanwhile, with the money they save, they can hire AdjunctSlavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17025851491072402087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-30983935804204092972012-03-30T07:45:36.073-04:002012-03-30T07:45:36.073-04:00I'd buy majority stock in the corporation that...I'd buy majority stock in the corporation that owns the university and start a massive, comprehensive reform. Since the orientation would shift from shareholder profit to education and intellectual inquiry, stock value would plummet and I could easily buy up the rest. I would also have money left over for an endowment, further eroding the profit motive. <br /><br />The bean-counters would be AdjunctSlavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17025851491072402087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-34114061310258695652012-03-30T06:48:23.642-04:002012-03-30T06:48:23.642-04:00I get the point of the question - what positive ch...I get the point of the question - what positive change would we make if money were no object. Yaro <a href="http://collegemisery.blogspot.ca/2011/07/i-am-still-in-utah-at-cabin-where-i.html" rel="nofollow">posted the same question</a> a ways back. But this one is hard to answer directly. There's something about disliking one's job or one's employer that makes it a bit unpalatable Rosencrantz Andor Guildensternhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05095512139776536635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-61204284614859636752012-03-30T05:41:52.661-04:002012-03-30T05:41:52.661-04:00I'd endow my public school district. We are 2 ...I'd endow my public school district. We are 2 years away from insolvency.Mrs. Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00398436173535554878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-5560765407740486032012-03-30T02:21:17.254-04:002012-03-30T02:21:17.254-04:00I'd have pot brownies secretly delivered to ev...I'd have pot brownies secretly delivered to everybody in my department. Every morning.Southern Bubba, Ph.D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12050992903794385204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-37360535650619825622012-03-30T01:54:27.360-04:002012-03-30T01:54:27.360-04:00I'd rewire our building so we could all turn t...I'd rewire our building so we could all turn the lights on in our offices without someone's computer blowing. And maybe shore up one side of our building so it didn't slide into a sinkhole. <br /><br />And then I'd demand that the part timers get paid the same as T-T people. <br /><br />And then I'd pay to have the silverbacks retire early. I'd pay the silverbacks to stay The Contemplative Cynichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02088570661592922436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-20891833063181329562012-03-30T00:27:51.962-04:002012-03-30T00:27:51.962-04:00At my current institution? Dunno. My department is...At my current institution? Dunno. My department is humming along fairly well, all things considered. I'd do something meaningful and worthwhile for it, though. Maybe endow a few professorships and a bunch of research stipends so that we could hire more tenure-line profs and provide course releases on a regular basis. And I'd build a big-ass swimming pool. We don't have one right now, Dr. Mindbenderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16916271564719224677noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-26574110900155377562012-03-29T23:08:44.089-04:002012-03-29T23:08:44.089-04:00I would set up two undergrad scholarships at both ...I would set up two undergrad scholarships at both my undergrad and grad institutions.<br />One would be need-based, with preference given to working students (outside employment, not work study or tutoring/TAing).<br />The other would be merit-based, with the guidelines of "merit" defined by me. <br /><br />I would also fund my undergrad's student research program and hopefully Matilda (who told lies)https://www.blogger.com/profile/16855283684379312888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-3176832080387026232012-03-29T22:26:43.502-04:002012-03-29T22:26:43.502-04:00I would make an earmarked endowment specifically a...I would make an earmarked endowment specifically aimed at re-funding the swim team. Because the funding to the swim team got cut more because certain admin people didn't like it than because it was expensive. In other words, I would make a "BECAUSE FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHY" donation.WhatLadderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11603489349164511704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-63043347475562479762012-03-29T21:35:21.061-04:002012-03-29T21:35:21.061-04:00I don't really see myself handing over a ton o...I don't really see myself handing over a ton of cash to my university. There's a lot of places I would put the money, but my university is probably not one of them.<br /><br />But if I really had 500 million, I'd start my own liberal arts university. I'd build it from the ground up, and it would be free, at least until the money ran out.StellafromSparksburghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17584701718285662953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-23103611175841920682012-03-29T21:26:06.972-04:002012-03-29T21:26:06.972-04:00God I would love you to post something about undoc...God I would love you to post something about undocumented students. If I have any among my 210 students, I don't know about it. You should profile one of your colleagues and then extrapolate that experience as a lesson for what might be happening in our classrooms but we just don't know about it.Academic Monkeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07086078244493768565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-62651083754097464322012-03-29T21:23:06.400-04:002012-03-29T21:23:06.400-04:00My take on this is probably different than most gi...My take on this is probably different than most given that I'm a grad student, but here it is... I have a faculty mentor who should be paid for the thousands (seriously) of emails I have sent her. She has helped me to achieve things above and beyond anything I ever thought I was capable of, so within this academic realm, I would make her a millionaire. I also have a colleague who is an AB 540Atuahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01992855669490446093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-28792786502792219812012-03-29T21:17:17.672-04:002012-03-29T21:17:17.672-04:00My take on this is probably different than most gi...My take on this is probably different than most given that I'm a grad student. I have a faculty mentor who should be paid for the thousands (seriously) of emails I have sent her. She has helped me to achieve things above and beyond anything I ever thought I was capable of, so within this academic realm, I would make her a millionaire. I also have a colleague who is an AB 540 student (what us Atuahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01992855669490446093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-61504736751431890682012-03-29T19:13:03.723-04:002012-03-29T19:13:03.723-04:00MA -- basically, I'd be funding one pilot proj...MA -- basically, I'd be funding one pilot project for the AAUP's current recommendation for improving the lot of contingent faculty.Contingent Cassandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08161652083031423415noreply@blogger.com