tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post1750000513836477960..comments2023-10-15T04:23:50.187-04:00Comments on College Misery: EuphemismsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-73203405203610251182015-07-28T07:12:15.913-04:002015-07-28T07:12:15.913-04:00The failing grades you assigned have been brought ...The failing grades you assigned have been brought into line with industry averages.<br />(This place is doomed. Flee, if you can).EC1https://www.blogger.com/profile/13414931249618049097noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-88035195079467358622015-07-28T02:06:49.792-04:002015-07-28T02:06:49.792-04:00Committed to student success: anybody who's a...Committed to student success: anybody who's admitted and can fog a mirror by breathing on it will graduate<br /><br />Quality learning environment: the students dictate what should be taught and how to teach it<br /><br />Safe learning environment: the self-perception the students have that they are all geniuses must be constantly confirmed<br />Quarter Wave Verticalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03173446011323023116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-64649745134046710752015-07-28T01:03:37.369-04:002015-07-28T01:03:37.369-04:00Happy Hour
You are invited to attend Professor X&...Happy Hour<br /><br />You are invited to attend Professor X's Happy Hour every [day] from [start time] to [end time] in [building and room number]. Please sign the Happy Hour Guest List to win free prizes.Monicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08103879727877816655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-8692963631166082472015-07-27T22:50:34.548-04:002015-07-27T22:50:34.548-04:00Hmmm ...
* Draconian Mandate Requiring Data Netwo...Hmmm ...<br /><br />* Draconian Mandate Requiring Data Network Disconnection<br /><br />* Draconian Proscription of Sustenance Ingestion<br /><br />* Draconian Terminal Achievement Assessment<br /><br />I think this idea could have legs.dmckeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18052641757203089416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-26150027187882207992015-07-27T22:12:56.971-04:002015-07-27T22:12:56.971-04:00My students loathe the words "Attendance Poli...My students loathe the words "Attendance Policy" on my syllabus, so I'm going to replace it on my Fall syllabi with "Draconian Mandate Requiring Physical Presence."Pat from Peoriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10005657976057072299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-58273064471113709672015-07-27T17:14:49.671-04:002015-07-27T17:14:49.671-04:00I'm pretty sure we've used them all, somet...I'm pretty sure we've used them all, sometimes non-ironically.Ogre Proctor Hephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17428431147495287413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-75363351813307622442015-07-27T17:14:10.311-04:002015-07-27T17:14:10.311-04:00M-AaM's is even more similar.M-AaM's is even more similar.Ogre Proctor Hephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17428431147495287413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-55386078097433910812015-07-27T15:19:36.412-04:002015-07-27T15:19:36.412-04:00I mentioned this here recently but, faculty who fa...I mentioned this here recently but, faculty who fail to obtain tenure are, in the words of our new president, <i>released to succeed elsewhere</i>.<br /><br />Which I see is similar to one posted by OPH.dmckeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18052641757203089416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-57664006657660183782015-07-27T15:13:21.996-04:002015-07-27T15:13:21.996-04:00They are as yet in a state of developing competenc...<em>They are as yet in a state of developing competency.</em><br />We actually use this one. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15711314415244801354noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-69038967170533607522015-07-27T15:11:39.114-04:002015-07-27T15:11:39.114-04:00"They do their best work in a collaborative e..."<em>They do their best work in a collaborative environment.</em><br />The only way they finished anything is when other people picked up their significant slack."<br />Equally applicable to students and colleagues.<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15711314415244801354noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-42033359965654107852015-07-27T15:01:52.171-04:002015-07-27T15:01:52.171-04:00They are proficient at self-advocacy.
They whinged...<i>They are proficient at self-advocacy.</i><br />They whinged till we caved.<br /><br /><i>They do their best work in a collaborative environment.</i><br />The only way they finished anything is when other people picked up their significant slack.<br /><br /><i>They have a lot on their plates, but they are able to set priorities.</i><br />Working out at the gym and online shopping must be done Ogre Proctor Hephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17428431147495287413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-77173307687819402522015-07-27T14:57:44.949-04:002015-07-27T14:57:44.949-04:00˄ nice!˄ nice!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15711314415244801354noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-76952927354446233962015-07-27T14:44:16.919-04:002015-07-27T14:44:16.919-04:00Here's an oldie. Here's another oldie.Here's an <a href="http://rateyourstudents.blogspot.com/2009/10/euphemism-flood-begins_3423.html" rel="nofollow">oldie</a>. Here's another <a href="http://rateyourstudents.blogspot.com/2009/10/euphemisms-continued_725.html" rel="nofollow">oldie. </a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-86155782281587226932015-07-27T14:25:55.695-04:002015-07-27T14:25:55.695-04:00Denying tenure: An opportunity to excel elsewhere
...Denying tenure: An opportunity to excel elsewhere<br />Committee meeting: Synergy Festival <br />Test cheating: Redefining the parameters by which success is measuredMiddle-Aged and Morosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04046076243513948921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-1035497151757079702015-07-27T13:30:34.000-04:002015-07-27T13:30:34.000-04:00"Invited for an encore performance"
Do ..."Invited for an encore performance"<br /><br />Do I get a passing grade if I decline the offer?Emergency Mathematical Hologramhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15873569623797587860noreply@blogger.com