tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post4582863526704201951..comments2023-10-15T04:23:50.187-04:00Comments on College Misery: What do you do when they cry?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-8568080676583987802013-11-17T08:14:02.180-05:002013-11-17T08:14:02.180-05:00Maybe make that two readers.
I am sorry for your ...Maybe make that two readers.<br /><br />I am sorry for your loss, Emily. Through other lenses, I see that folks around here are genuinely good people who would have found no joy in your pain.Ogre Proctor Hephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17428431147495287413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-2594888671907604622013-11-15T11:00:41.416-05:002013-11-15T11:00:41.416-05:00Hi Emily. Comments on old posts always get caught ...Hi Emily. Comments on old posts always get caught in our filter. Also, posts rarely get read after a day or two, so unfortunately I think I might be the only person to see this. Just wanted to let you know. Best wishes.<br /><br />CM Moderator<br />Leslie KCollege Miseryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01371354682300032653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-75979721993674238372013-11-15T05:13:27.558-05:002013-11-15T05:13:27.558-05:00I understand where you all are coming from but I h...I understand where you all are coming from but I have to say- shame on all of you, and shame on our society for not making mental and emotional health a larger priority. I agree, crying in order to cover up or excuse plagiarism is awful, but completely dismissing the potential psychological issues of these kids is sadistic and irresponsible. The fact that some of you get pleasure from seeing Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01201088427656524745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-24975080009555270772013-01-16T08:59:38.442-05:002013-01-16T08:59:38.442-05:00It sucks they don't have an adjunct office for...It sucks they don't have an adjunct office for you. All the places I was part time had them----but that was a long time ago. If you carry a bag, it might not be a bad idea to keep a small box of tissues available in it. I can see logistically it would be hard to get to them in the hallway, but it might be worth it. <br /><br />Nothing says "crying is not really going to help you hereBellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15686242633678466958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-28762391969532669942013-01-14T00:01:15.757-05:002013-01-14T00:01:15.757-05:00I've had students break down in tears during o...I've had students break down in tears during office hours, but rarely. They seem as embarrassed as I am uncomfortable when it happens, so I just wait patiently and silently until they get themselves together. Then say some words of encouragement, to the effect that they can still recover, do better on the next test or the final, or when they retake the course. And that's the end of it; Peter Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00754472537710161295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-12615602612058825072013-01-13T17:28:04.556-05:002013-01-13T17:28:04.556-05:00It must be nice to actually have an office with a ...It must be nice to actually have an office with a desk on which to keep a box of Kleenex. <br /><br />I have to meet with students in a public venue, often in the classroom or hallway, where they openly scream at me and weep or whatever in front of everyone. <br /><br />And nobody does a damn thing but skedaddle so they don't have to get involved.The_Mythhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10621186404597424842noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-49925083933345865652013-01-13T10:46:18.022-05:002013-01-13T10:46:18.022-05:00I've had students try to fake tears when confr...I've had students try to fake tears when confronted with class policies. The face scrootches up -- and then nothing.Lucy, Countess of Bedfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07181713706519539554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-25578880966104588932013-01-12T22:28:47.835-05:002013-01-12T22:28:47.835-05:00My supervisor said to me once "I have kleenex...My supervisor said to me once "I have kleenex, but I keep it in a drawer. If they see it on the desk, they read it as permission to cry".WhatLadderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11603489349164511704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-3864187840899538152013-01-12T21:54:13.865-05:002013-01-12T21:54:13.865-05:00Perhaps an appropriate link?
http://www.foxnews.c...Perhaps an appropriate link?<br /><br />http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2013/01/08/are-raising-generation-deluded-narcissists/<br /><br />(not that I'm a fox news fan; it just popped up on my googe news feed)Academic Monkeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07086078244493768565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-67241783223841616342013-01-12T20:10:26.993-05:002013-01-12T20:10:26.993-05:00I keep a box of Kleenex. I assume that criers are...I keep a box of Kleenex. I assume that criers are embarrassed by their weakness, and I nudge the box to them and tactfully look away until they've recovered themselves.<br /><br />Of course this also works very well on the ones who were hoping I'd respond by caving, since they stop when they realise it isn't working.Merely Academichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00452389428113097744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-79956513831851061152013-01-12T16:15:56.617-05:002013-01-12T16:15:56.617-05:00In a recent semester, I had a crier who was obviou...In a recent semester, I had a crier who was obviously faking it. I laughed. She was indignant but thankfully never reported me. I am meta-guilty about it (i.e., I feel bad for not feeling bad about doing it), but then I am an admittedly bad person. Though I have sent some clearly troubled to Counseling, so I must not be a complete jerk.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-26621778571561949212013-01-12T13:46:51.006-05:002013-01-12T13:46:51.006-05:00I do what I see others here also do, and it works ...I do what I see others here also do, and it works very well for me. I actually usually do feel bad for them when they cry. I cannot help feeling a little empathy when someone is in real emotional distress. I milk that in myself, and sit quietly, holding out kleenex, with what I hope is an empathetic affect, and wait for the crying to end. <br /><br />That is it.<br /><br />I am not always Bellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15686242633678466958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-73319956679878356242013-01-12T07:18:26.751-05:002013-01-12T07:18:26.751-05:00I think the stray takeout napkin sends the ideal m...I think the stray takeout napkin sends the ideal message. Maybe a roll of toilet paper would work too.Vampire Accountanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08144354173991287613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-64832822637687970002013-01-11T23:59:12.949-05:002013-01-11T23:59:12.949-05:00That is evil.
And awesome.That is evil.<br /><br />And awesome.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-86823007815386438392013-01-11T22:38:12.513-05:002013-01-11T22:38:12.513-05:00I get tears in my office, but I think it's usu...I get tears in my office, but I think it's usually because they're already on the verge of tears. Depending on the level of crying, I either offer a tissue or offer to call the Counseling Center. Sometimes I call the Counseling Center just to show the student that their responses is way out of proportion to the situation. We usually establish that something else is going on (except for inThe Contemplative Cynichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02088570661592922436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-14182698504448662992013-01-11T20:49:21.738-05:002013-01-11T20:49:21.738-05:00You tell toddlrers that they are like Hitler? Dam...You tell toddlrers that they are like Hitler? Damn, now <i>that's</i> hardcore.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-75217300419331681712013-01-11T20:08:01.279-05:002013-01-11T20:08:01.279-05:00I carry my own handkerchief for nose-blowing (and,...I carry my own handkerchief for nose-blowing (and, I guess, expect my students to do the same if they have the need; I hadn't really thought about it). Contingent Cassandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08161652083031423415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-52940931204843000442013-01-11T20:06:10.658-05:002013-01-11T20:06:10.658-05:00Some of the subcultures associated with cancer hav...Some of the subcultures associated with cancer have gotten very, very weird -- lots of mind over matter stuff that comes very close to blaming anyone who doesn't recover for hir illness/death. This kind of thinking is probably bolstered by early detection of relatively curable cancers; there are more survivors out there these days, because more people learn of their cancer earlier, and/or Contingent Cassandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08161652083031423415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-36428726498005580972013-01-11T19:58:24.406-05:002013-01-11T19:58:24.406-05:00Indeed, probably. The thing is, I had gone through...Indeed, probably. The thing is, I had gone through a similar medical trauma myself, so I thought hearing that we had this in common would help.<br /><br />It did not.Academic Monkeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07086078244493768565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-46000610058858655192013-01-11T19:11:23.888-05:002013-01-11T19:11:23.888-05:00How in the eff does having cancer make any of your...How in the eff does having cancer make any of your resolutions more attainable? I got hit by a car so then I resolved to flap my arms and fly everywhere. <br /><br />I'd tell her to grow da faque up and learn that believe it or not, sometimes you'll fail regardless of how hard you try or how badly you want something. I'd phrase it nicer and probably make her cry more, but she'InvertedSquarehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04704558162599421719noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-88114531119483800582013-01-11T19:03:16.296-05:002013-01-11T19:03:16.296-05:00I had a busted plagiarist cry last spring. She had...I had a busted plagiarist cry last spring. She had been frantically copying from the pile of turned-in homework at the front of the classroom. Normally I take suspects out of the classroom for a quiet talk, but in this case I just burst out incredulously, "Are you copying the answers?" She looked up, perplexed. ("Of course I am, so?") I told her that was plagiarism and that Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02906546940408742913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-10851940388188742872013-01-11T18:54:50.287-05:002013-01-11T18:54:50.287-05:00Hmm, hadn't thought that the tissue box might ...Hmm, hadn't thought that the tissue box might signal that I expect people to cry in my office. I mainly have it so I can blow my nose and so they can, too; and then I offer them my 5-gallon dispenser of hand sanitizer before they touch anything.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02906546940408742913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-42587091595031653192013-01-11T18:44:05.550-05:002013-01-11T18:44:05.550-05:00I had one last spring, who came in with a draft of...I had one last spring, who came in with a draft of a paper (due the next day) that I looked at and said, you need to fix this. Not, you need to start over from scratch, but you need to fix this. She dissolved into tears and said But I worked so hard! I handed her a box of tissues and said You should have come to me with this a week ago. She said I wrote it last night. I raised my eyebrow. She BurntChromehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06055976331443607569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-36678707888598010422013-01-11T17:40:44.779-05:002013-01-11T17:40:44.779-05:00I haven't had tears in my office for a while. ...I haven't had tears in my office for a while. I wonder what I'm doing right (or wrong)? Perhaps I need to be stricter? I do get occasional anger, which is probably the flip side of the same coin. I probably should buy a box of kleenex, just in case. On the other hand, I usually have stray takeout napkins floating around. Those might serve just as well, while also sending the message Contingent Cassandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08161652083031423415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-9311332288219780402013-01-11T17:37:57.808-05:002013-01-11T17:37:57.808-05:00"And then she began to cry. I sympathized.&qu..."And then she began to cry. I sympathized."<br /><br />There's your first mistake! Sympathy just demonstrates that you're receptive to even more tears.<br /><br />Curmudgeon in Traininghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07524725236168917391noreply@blogger.com