tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post5352946630314839279..comments2023-10-15T04:23:50.187-04:00Comments on College Misery: The Answer is No. Dr. Amelia Saves Some Time. A Big Thirsty For the Ages.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-86094463045031699492014-10-12T16:35:40.102-04:002014-10-12T16:35:40.102-04:00I'm sick today. Is it OK for my roommate to co...I'm sick today. Is it OK for my roommate to come take my quiz for me?The Contemplative Cynichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02088570661592922436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-86819245928375250902014-10-11T13:02:01.781-04:002014-10-11T13:02:01.781-04:0020 minutes into midterm. Tonyflake's phone vib...20 minutes into midterm. Tonyflake's phone vibrates in pocket, takes it out to answer it. Looks at me with puppy dog eyes, "But it's my mother!"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-51341859364340028272014-10-11T12:37:19.358-04:002014-10-11T12:37:19.358-04:00First day of the new quarter, four hour block clas...First day of the new quarter, four hour block classes.<br />"Are we going to get out early?"<br />-No.<br />"Why"<br />-Because I get paid to teach you for 4 hours, and I value my job security a lot more than your free time.<br /><br />Absentminded_Adjuncthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05830668471679892035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-73805634319201035802014-10-11T08:36:27.313-04:002014-10-11T08:36:27.313-04:00We actually don't use blahboard, we use someth...We actually don't use blahboard, we use something else. It was updated about a week before school started (with no testing of the update at all, of course). They still haven't figured out how to fix this issue...watercathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12592663814187083645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-80628847151868580762014-10-11T08:24:04.864-04:002014-10-11T08:24:04.864-04:00I turn all the grade calculating stuff off in blah...I turn all the grade calculating stuff off in blahboard and use Excel for the real math. Be careful: if you "hide" a calculated column in the gradebook, it becomes invisible to you but students can still see it. If you can't simply delete the column, then you must set its options specifically to exclude it from the students' view.Ogre Proctor Hephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17428431147495287413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-47448214356044891232014-10-11T08:16:06.837-04:002014-10-11T08:16:06.837-04:00Stu Dont: I didn't do my best on the paper. Ca...Stu Dont: I didn't do my best on the paper. Can I re-write it?<br /> <br />me: Yes. In fact, I encourage it.<br /> <br />[time elapses]<br /> <br />Stu: Here's my paper you told me I could rewrite.<br /> <br />me: Wonderful! I'm sure you improved it and learned much in the process.<br /> <br />Stu: Aren't you going to take it from me?<br /> <br />me: No.Ogre Proctor Hephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17428431147495287413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-16202720461498595182014-10-10T17:43:45.234-04:002014-10-10T17:43:45.234-04:00Can you tell me why the online gradebook says I ha...Can you tell me why the online gradebook says I have a 64 when the assignment list says I have a 95? (NO, the stupid new gradebook is STILL broken)<br /><br />Can I turn in this assignment from the first week of school for full credit (7 weeks later)? (NO, and I won't grade it for partial credit either!)watercathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12592663814187083645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-44899256845077312352014-10-10T01:09:29.604-04:002014-10-10T01:09:29.604-04:00"Do you have any appointments available on th..."Do you have any appointments available on the weekends?"<br /><br />Once, when I was 19 years old and serving in the U.S. Navy, I will confess to having been naive enough to have asked this at the base dental clinic, They replied by asking me if I was drunk.Froderick Frankenstien from Fresnohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11653942918068535424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-60251771030063991532014-10-10T01:05:30.391-04:002014-10-10T01:05:30.391-04:00This was supposed to have been done by Henry Kissi...This was supposed to have been done by Henry Kissinger, before he went to work for Nixon, when he was still teaching at Georgetown---or was it Harvard?Froderick Frankenstien from Fresnohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11653942918068535424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-8591093797371133352014-10-09T15:11:50.709-04:002014-10-09T15:11:50.709-04:00I did just glance at some lab reports and ask for ...I did just glance at some lab reports and ask for them to be rewritten. Without reading I could see that they were missing important pieces. I don't have time to grade work that bad.Addledhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06183335543901285718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-1481456069777178002014-10-09T15:08:14.439-04:002014-10-09T15:08:14.439-04:00Can you tell me what my grade is at this point? (N...Can you tell me what my grade is at this point? (No, scores are posted and the syllabus says how much different things count.)Addledhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06183335543901285718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-17253576433329510192014-10-09T14:03:10.795-04:002014-10-09T14:03:10.795-04:00I want to work at the class's beer bash to rai...I want to work at the class's beer bash to raise money for our graduation party. It'll be during our class time, so can I have my exam back now?<br /><br />Will you do an example on every case in the last chapter of the book instead of having us read through the material and figure it out for ourselves?<br /><br />Can my boyfriend sit in on your lecture?<br /><br />Can you tell us what&#Quarter Wave Verticalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03173446011323023116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-77488179359277665362014-10-09T12:27:56.518-04:002014-10-09T12:27:56.518-04:00Can I have an appointment in the middle of your sc...Can I have an appointment in the middle of your scheduled office hours?<br /><br />Will you help me research which drug I tried to OD on 15 years ago? It was an expired prescription for a tropical disease that my cousin, a veteran, had been given years before.<br /><br />Do you have any appointments available on the weekends?<br /><br />Will you tell me what this vocabulary term means on the examAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02906546940408742913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-29595252681418586962014-10-09T11:49:31.232-04:002014-10-09T11:49:31.232-04:00It's halfway through the semester, and, unlike...It's halfway through the semester, and, unlike the other 19 students in the class, I still don't understand the two semester-long projects we've been working on, nor can I follow the written directions for completing intermediate stages thereof with anything approaching comprehension or success. Oh, and I've missed about half the class meeting due to assorted vaguely-described &Contingent Cassandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08161652083031423415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-89131465202672882242014-10-09T11:13:43.826-04:002014-10-09T11:13:43.826-04:00Can I have extra credit (to make up for the huge a...Can I have extra credit (to make up for the huge assignment I didn't bother to do)?<br /><br />Can I email you my paper so you can proofread it before I turn it in? (FUCK. NO.)<br />BurntChromehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06055976331443607569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-29123622984713711592014-10-09T09:57:34.494-04:002014-10-09T09:57:34.494-04:00Will you tell us exactly what we need to memorize ...Will you tell us exactly what we need to memorize for the test and what we can ignore?<br /><br />If we as a class put together a unanimous petition, will you drop the exam grades for the last test, that we all failed? <br /><br />Will you bring us chocolate chip cookies (instead of those nasty cheap store-bought sugar cookies that all the other profs bring, oh, and don't forget white Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-84742783725003681562014-10-09T09:28:28.556-04:002014-10-09T09:28:28.556-04:00We should have an academic urban legend thread. I&...We should have an academic urban legend thread. I've got two or three more in that vein that everyone should know.Three Sigmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10822893039310439770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-83066715985924963502014-10-09T09:27:29.946-04:002014-10-09T09:27:29.946-04:00Urban academic legend:
Prof sets paper. Students h...Urban academic legend:<br />Prof sets paper. Students hand in. Prof tells them all, "Is this the best you can do?" in a slightly disappointed tone. Class concedes that maybe they could do better. Prof gives them a rewrite. "Is this the best you can do?" "No, I guess maybe that's not our absolute best." One more round. "Is this the best you can do?" Three Sigmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10822893039310439770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-2311386766498713902014-10-09T08:11:24.541-04:002014-10-09T08:11:24.541-04:00What a great question! I say NO to all except the ...What a great question! I say NO to all except the second (not my best work), to which I reply, "Sadly, it probably is your best and it's worth an F."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-57216541896141359882014-10-09T08:07:37.025-04:002014-10-09T08:07:37.025-04:00Don't you think it would be bad business to gi...Don't you think it would be bad business to give your department more money to hire some more full-time faculty to help carry the class and service loads in the mere hope that it would lead to your department's research output climbing up from the toilet it's been in for a few years? Ogre Proctor Hephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17428431147495287413noreply@blogger.com