tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post9061200023451867304..comments2023-10-15T04:23:50.187-04:00Comments on College Misery: Hiram. Pissed.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-84676277639390347532015-10-17T11:39:46.428-04:002015-10-17T11:39:46.428-04:00MAaM, I'm picturing a 23-24 yo with a marketin...MAaM, I'm picturing a 23-24 yo with a <i>marketing</i> degree. <br />Retention, yanno!Aware and Scaredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14700345349806280657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-59091667468983043842015-10-16T10:16:18.421-04:002015-10-16T10:16:18.421-04:00The time necessary to complete a checkered undergr...The time necessary to complete a checkered undergrad and possibly M.A. career that generated the adviser's ability to "connect' with undergrads (not a complete crock, but there needs to be some maturing/widening of perspective in there, too) might argue for closer to 25-26, but yeah. <br /><br />But sadly, the adviser could also be a middle-aged person who just loves the students (Contingent Cassandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08161652083031423415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-79351745098056942372015-10-16T10:12:23.748-04:002015-10-16T10:12:23.748-04:00Glad it worked out. There's a lot to be said, ...Glad it worked out. There's a lot to be said, I suspect, for being able to retreat to one's home, and the bosom of one's family, in such circumstances, and then return to campus. I couldn't do that, at least not without using up a significant chunk of the day driving. I tend to think of large universities in large metropolitan areas, like my own, as offering greater privacy, but Contingent Cassandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08161652083031423415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-55502154859662213102015-10-15T21:26:07.287-04:002015-10-15T21:26:07.287-04:00Yes. Yes, you were.Yes. Yes, you were.Ogre Proctor Hephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17428431147495287413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-80293034607303145782015-10-15T18:43:20.468-04:002015-10-15T18:43:20.468-04:00While I was teaching, I frequently got messages li...While I was teaching, I frequently got messages like that from my department head and the assistant DH. As far as they were concerned, if a student complained about me, anything and everything they said was true and there were be no rebuttal.<br /><br />In addition, I was expected to be on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Anything less, including some semblance of a private life, was seen asQuarter Wave Verticalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03173446011323023116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-63139377831107400202015-10-15T10:51:28.631-04:002015-10-15T10:51:28.631-04:00I'm picturing the adviser as a 23-24 year old ...I'm picturing the adviser as a 23-24 year old with an education degree. Middle-Aged and Morosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04046076243513948921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-56825957897983460962015-10-15T09:09:53.022-04:002015-10-15T09:09:53.022-04:00It's interesting. I've been in every posit...It's interesting. I've been in every position in this 4-person interaction. I have to agree that the chair should (in a perfect world) have the most level-headed approach.<br /><br />A: H refuses to work with one of his students.<br />C: Did you witness this or is it the student's spin on it?<br />A: Well, the student said...<br />C: What did H say when you confronted him with the Ogre Proctor Hephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17428431147495287413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-88467848920109845882015-10-15T05:29:34.007-04:002015-10-15T05:29:34.007-04:00It's interesting to me that there doesn't ...It's interesting to me that there doesn't appear to be a process in place. <br />That a freshman adviser goes straight to a chair for this seems like a lack of training / common sense (or both). <br />If I were the chair, I'd be pissed, but not with Hiram.<br /><br />Totally understand the resentment. Is there no way to find out what advisers are supposed to do in situations such as EC1https://www.blogger.com/profile/13414931249618049097noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-40629290811304116012015-10-15T04:52:58.011-04:002015-10-15T04:52:58.011-04:00I got over my snit and went back to campus after a...I got over my snit and went back to campus after a nice lunch with people I KNOW love me...LOL.<br /><br />And I found my chair and went through it all as even-handedly as possible. It was not great at the beginning because I was still a little hot at the misunderstanding.<br /><br />That's what the chair called it, a misunderstanding.<br /><br />I said, "How about the advisor calling meAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-70614913532085779262015-10-14T21:12:52.203-04:002015-10-14T21:12:52.203-04:00Imagine if they said this at work to their boss--&...Imagine if they said this at work to their boss--"Sorry, I can't make it to the meeting, but here is my written proposal or my PowerPoint presentation. Could you please type up comments/suggestions/corrections and send them to me in a Word document (in addition to the minutes for the meeting) so I can make any necessary changes? Thanks!"J Profhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08070000686133103346noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-24345472602012236122015-10-14T18:50:10.882-04:002015-10-14T18:50:10.882-04:00Indeed. DA's right that the academic adviser ...Indeed. DA's right that the academic adviser is a key player, and has shown hirself lacking in skills necessary to do hir job well. (S)he should certainly have elicited more and better information from the student. Failing that, (s)he should have approached the faculty member, not the chair, to seek more information, because (s)he should have realized(as the chair did) that additional Contingent Cassandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08161652083031423415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-87368554053162026812015-10-14T17:56:20.299-04:002015-10-14T17:56:20.299-04:00All this advice is so good there's no point in...All this advice is so good there's no point in my adding to it. But I'm curious, Hiram. Has this student expressed any fondness for bacon jalapeño mac and cheese?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02906546940408742913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-16605620067130674122015-10-14T17:32:01.306-04:002015-10-14T17:32:01.306-04:00A ton of this depends on context. What is Hiram&#...A ton of this depends on context. What is Hiram's relationship with his chair? Is his department/college emotionally toxic, or not? What's this particular class like? Does Hiram know the advisor well? etc. . . . <br /><br />I was thinking of things from the perspective of an administrator who is juggling shit from 50 different faculty members today. What the administrator (department Southern Bubba, Ph.D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12050992903794385204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-61647711146227202262015-10-14T16:35:58.326-04:002015-10-14T16:35:58.326-04:00from a reader:
In addition to the short email to ...<i>from a reader:</i><br /><br />In addition to the short email to the Chair, including the email/s that had been sent and received relevant to the situation, I wonder if it might not be a good idea to forward/CC that email to the Freshman Advisor. They should know “the rest of the story” especially if they are a bit green and accept everything that a student says as gospel. College Miseryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01371354682300032653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-9456898969922668342015-10-14T16:22:39.868-04:002015-10-14T16:22:39.868-04:00In other words, exactly what DA said, while I was ...In other words, exactly what DA said, while I was busy typing! (Great minds etc etc.)Rosencrantz Andor Guildensternhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05095512139776536635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-58627346892745966312015-10-14T16:21:02.350-04:002015-10-14T16:21:02.350-04:00Dude, forward a copy of your email to the chair. ...Dude, forward a copy of your email to the chair. Highlight the sentences: <br /><br />"Our meetings are always collaborative. We meet to work together on the essay."<br /><br />Politely point out the impossibility of refusing to work with a student in an email that insists on working with the student. Even more politely, ask the basis of Xxxxxxx Xxxxxxx's assertion that you Rosencrantz Andor Guildensternhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05095512139776536635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-28604518673971384672015-10-14T16:17:35.614-04:002015-10-14T16:17:35.614-04:00The weak link in all of this (apart from the stude...The weak link in all of this (apart from the student) is the academic adviser who contacted your Chair. A key skill for a good academic adviser, in my opinion, is to act as a critical filter in these sorts of situations. <br /><br />The first thing the adviser should have done was ask the student to pull up the email in question so the adviser could actually see what you said to the student. Defunct Adjuncthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12954331373226016090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-64582333721600147152015-10-14T15:57:35.176-04:002015-10-14T15:57:35.176-04:00I agree with the need to regroup and respond to th...I agree with the need to regroup and respond to the chair (who at least sounds like (s)he was trying to be fair, if a bit dictatorial in the "please make yourself available" part of the email). Since the email Hiram sent to the student sounds pretty reasonable (even if it does contain that dread word "no"), I'd be inclined to forward it to the chair, perhaps with a Contingent Cassandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08161652083031423415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-64928228072271421042015-10-14T14:28:02.427-04:002015-10-14T14:28:02.427-04:00Hiram, you know everybody loves you--including you...Hiram, you know everybody loves you--including your department chair. S/he might just be swamped and wrote a more terse email than s/he ideally would have preferred to have written. Find a safe place, give a loved one or best friend a call so they can reaffirm your awesomeness and dissolve any insecurity, and then call your chair and essentially do what MAaM suggested: Admit no wrongdoing and Southern Bubba, Ph.D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12050992903794385204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-43909118545961425852015-10-14T13:52:08.899-04:002015-10-14T13:52:08.899-04:00It occurs to me (although I use the approach, and ...It occurs to me (although I use the approach, and recommended it above), that "don't say no; just redirect and don't say 'yes' either" is advice long given to women dealing with unwanted sexual requests, and often doesn't work out very well for the individuals involved, or the culture at large. Redirection can still work sometimes, I think, but the need to consider Contingent Cassandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08161652083031423415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-30790981584584619232015-10-14T12:22:36.299-04:002015-10-14T12:22:36.299-04:00Don't say "no" say "You have to...Don't say "no" say "You have to come in and sit down with me to go over the paper. That's the assignment." Middle-Aged and Morosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04046076243513948921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-21503877830088203572015-10-14T12:01:06.592-04:002015-10-14T12:01:06.592-04:00Good gravy, that's infuriating. My condolences...Good gravy, that's infuriating. My condolences, Hiram. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15711314415244801354noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883226237165701608.post-13593369804612336272015-10-14T11:46:26.507-04:002015-10-14T11:46:26.507-04:00Maybe offer a skype conference (during normal work...Maybe offer a skype conference (during normal working hours) as an alternative? No, it's not quite the same, but the share screen feature works pretty well for conferencing, and offering it shows flexibility (and allows you to not say "no," but instead to word it as "if you're not able to come to campus..." and then offer an alternative that *should* be comfortable toContingent Cassandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08161652083031423415noreply@blogger.com