Thursday, April 21, 2011

Your crisis does not equal my crisis

I reached burn out today, I sat in my office with my third student on the phone crying that their cousin's Grandma's dog had died and that was why they were failing and with my umpteenth manditory faculty meeting for my adjunct position where they would tell me about all the critical faculty development information they needed that they expected me to do on my own time and I fought the urge to tell them all to "f&@+ off".


What are some polite and non-career killing ways you have communicated that their emergency is not your emergency and they need to back their shit up?

8 comments:

  1. With students, you acknowledge that they're going through a tough time, even if their time is not so tough. "Oh, that's too bad!" "That sounds like it was hard for you," "blah blah blah."

    When they ask for waivers, extensions, etc., you say "So long as I have an excuse that abides by the syllabus guidelines, I can accomodate you..." When they inevitably fail to provide it, you grimace and shrug, saying you wish you could help them but you can't, because that would be unfair to their peers.

    Sudents tend not to wail at and expect favors from teachers that don't take their failure personally. Nothing scares them more than a teacher they know likes them just fine but will fail the fuck out of them anyway.

    With colleagues, it depends. You can't always Bartleby them and say "I would prefer not to."

    If you're an adjunct...only an asshole would ask you to do anything whatsoever other than teach your fucking class. I really don't know what to tell you about how to deal with people that want to spread puke on your shit sandwich, except to suddenly become very, very ineffective at whatever administrative bullshit they've asked you to do, and/or just don't finish anything. Variations on "I'd love to get to that once this set of papers is graded...can you email me about it again soon?" or "Oh, I'm so sorry...it's sort of a slapdash job because I was grading this weekend..." The best way to communicate that their emergency is not yours is to not LET it be yours or ever ACT as if it is yours.

    In general, people are terrified to put responsibility in the hands of those that don't seem to give a shit what happens. And if you're an adjunct, they don't pay you enough to give a shit about anything going on at their dumb university, because they haven't invested in you. So you don't have to invest in them.

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  2. Stella's right. I tell the teary eyed darlings that our counseling center has a procedure for these things. If you complete the paperwork and they can't beat a confession out of you* then they will send me a note that excuses you from the day's class. Those who have real excuses like an official procedure; those who are bullshitting me hate it.

    * I'm not entirely clear what goes on in the councelling center but I sure hope it's something like this.

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  3. I think it's in your best interest to just not show up for these faculty meetings. If anyone asks, just say, "Oh, as an adjunct I put my teaching first, and there's very little time left over."

    I have a fantasy that upon being handed "faculty development" work (how insulting), you'd say, "I know the per-course rate is $3000 [or whatever], but can you remind me of what the adjunct rate is per administrative task?"

    Let 'em splutter, I say.

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  4. I think Froad's suggestion is brilliant. "How much are you paying me for this again?" phrased more politely should at least remind them of what utter jerks they're being in forcing you to do a bunch more crap for free, on top of all the grossly underpaid work you're already doing.

    We never ask our adjuncts to do anything but show up for class and hand in their grades. They're welcome to come to department meetings if they want to, and sometimes they do, but we don't make them, and we rehire them whether or not they did.

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  5. Re faculty meeting, one of my department heads has colorful jackets he wears for such occasions. He makes a point to come late, walk past everyone's line of vision and then take a seat in the back, and scram as soon as possible.

    Everyone saw him, and would be prepared to swear in a court of law that he attended the meeting. Only Dean Suzy is keeping score.

    But mandatory attendance for adjuncts at faculty meetings? Our faculty board is elective, and there are two representatives for adjuncts, should they care to elect someone. We pay them $20 a meeting, which is a pittance, I know, but they can at least serve the family pizza or something extra.

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  6. Or you could give the students a break. When my sister's best friend's mother's boyfriend's plumber's dog-walker's hairdresser died unexpectedly all I wanted was a little compassion.

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  7. Anastasia, I'd be in love with you but my wife would kill me.

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  8. I'd return the love but that would ruin my plan of dying sad and lonely.

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