Sedation Teaching. Because "Sedation Grading" isn't enough anymore.

Some guy named Mr. Apron, inspired by Sedation Dentistry, has a proposal: Sedation Talking to a College Freshman. (He also proposes Sedation First Dates and Sedation First Awkward Sex, which, hey, might be of use to some of y'all.) Apron gripes:

College freshman are the most arrogant, annoying, obnoxious, self-centered, newly-geniused motherfuckers God ever created, yes, even more than William F. Buckley. Trust me, if you ever need to converse with a college freshman for a period of time longer than three-and-a-half minutes, you’re going to be running for that fucking ether.

Ayup.

Considering that freshmen are drunk sedated half the time, it seems only fair that Sedation Talking to a College Freshman be instituted campus-wide at Snarklepuss University, where I teach.

I propose making it effective immediately. Very useful for all the summer orientation bullshit meetings the university wants faculty to work for free at "volunteer" for.