Thursday, July 8, 2010

All the way to China

As a girl I was told to keep my knees together, otherwise people could see "all the way to China", i.e. my underwear.

One morning in class the well-proportioned jock had to sit in the front row on account of being late and all the more comfortable places where they message each other and watch/make videos during class were taken.

I make it a point to look at each of my students at least once during class. As I was scanning the front row I realized that Jock had made himself comfortable with his legs spread wide open. And there was a big hole in an important place. Not only could I see all the way to China, China appeared to be flesh-colored and be rather hairy.

I blinked, wondering if I was hallucinating (I only had one glass of Chardonnay the night before). No, still there. So I made it a point to not look at Jock the rest of class, although I was mighty tempted.

Dear readers - should I have mentioned this wardrobe malfunction to Jock?

Suzy from Square State


  1. Oh, dear. That front row peekaboo is always alarming. I actually prefer THAT view to the one where the gut falls over the front of the pants...ugh.

  2. If you say anything at all you are sexually harassing the student. Srsly. Or so they will claim. The only thing to do is what you did: don't look at him. Yeech.

  3. This just shows how far our educational system has come in teaching about worldwide cultures. When I was a kid we were still using the eurocentric chant "I see England, I see France, I see UnfortunateChildWhoseSelfEsteemWillBePermanentlyScarred's underpants."

  4. I suspect Merely Academic is right. The cunning student will claim sexual harassment, and the battle will be joined.

    But so might the more cunning Instructor!

    "Jock, I feel violated by your dangling participle. Please cross your legs or at least wear underwear!"

    Imagine this happening with a female student shooting the beav at a male prof. He'd be called a perv. Even though the fairer amongst us know these flakes just need to wear more modest attire.

    Heck, I'll take a flake in Spongebob Squarepants pajama bottoms with the crotch stitched up over one with a hairy schlong revealing pair of sport-shorts or a furry va-jay-jay revealing mini-skirt any day!

    Anything just shy of a chastity belt will do. Just cover up the naughty bits, please! The classroom is not where I wanna see that stuff.

    [I usually look at that stuff at home while reading College Misery, fer crissakes!]

  5. I agree with the Merely Academic. To provide a helpful hint would be to say that you were looking at his junk...and which could open you up to a harassment complaint.


    It could be he was intentionally exposing, and YOU got to play a supporting role in whatever effed up fantasy involving your eyes on his package in the oh-so-sexy context of higher education. I wouldn't want to give him that satisfaction.

  6. This is sexual harassment by the student. Turn him in.

  7. I thoroughly enjoyed the "dangling participle" remark. :)

    Unfortunately, Meanest, Cranky, and Merely are probably right--saying anything to the student might have put you in a dangerous position. Your choice of action was wise. Don't doubt yourself, Suzy.

    - MoCo Student

  8. Unfort. I have to agree with what everyone else has said. It would be so much easier though, if a student notices his inapporiate attire. They could complain how he is providing a distraction to their learning environment or as I would say, "Cover that crap up!"

    naiomi G.
    Moco student


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.