Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Quickies From Spring Term

Notice a Pattern?

Student: Ophelia, why didn't I get a grade?!
Me: The assignment was not turned in.
Student: Yes it was!

The computer rarely lies about these things. Maybe the server had it in for the student. [Turned out the paper had been turned in to the wrong place.]


Student: Ophelia, why didn't I get attendance credit?!
Me: Because you did not attend class.
Student: Yes I did!

Seriously, the computer isn't perfect, but it didn't decide to randomly eat your data.

Please Listen

Student: Why does Susie get to write about tractors and I don't?!
Me: I'm not going to discuss with you what another student is working on.
Student: I don't want to discuss what another student is working on, I want to discuss why Susie gets to write about tractors!

Me: So our assignment this week is a bit different from previous assignments. You might not complete this exact document in the "real world" [I hate that fucking phrase], but you might have to do something similar. For example, at my friend's job ["real world" example of the assignment].
Student: But when will we use this in the real world?!


  1. This sounds familiar. Last year I had a student who failed to turn any assignments in, despite my repeated warnings. He said there were no due dates in the syllabus. I pulled the syllabus up on Blackboard: "Witness: due dates." He insisted that when HE pulled up the syllabus on Blackboard, the schedule that appeared had no due dates.

  2. Ophelia said:

    [Turned out the paper had been turned in to the wrong place.]

    I had a student who did that once. We were in a face-to-face class, but I was posting assignments on Blackboard CMS to save paper and make sure no one could use the "I lost the instructions" lie.

    Snowflake didn't hand in an assignment on the due date (again), and I really needed to see something from him in order to guide his work. So, I told him to E-MAIL it to me by that night so I could at least look it over and maybe throw a few points his way (it was only worth 10).

    I bet anyone familiar with Blackboard can guess what he did. It was my first time using Bb, and I was only using it for limited things. After A WEEK of me telling Snowy I hadn't received his e-mail, Dumbflake finally realized he had sent it to the Digital Dropbox.

    I resisted the urge to rip the flesh from his bones for being too stupid to realize that I had, by this time, told him to E-MAIL it to me about 4 times and he didn't follow instructions. Note that we had met in person at least twice during the ordeal and he hadn't produced a hard copy either.

    He eventually dropped, but not without me getting a harshly-worded note from his equally dumb friend (who also dropped). I'll out myself slightly and direct interested parties to this RYS feature about these 2 bumbleheads authored by moi! Enjoy my pain.


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