A cryptic email I received from (someone who I assume is) a student last night:
Candy,
Candy,
The class title is 100 Basket Weaving, however in your introduction you call the class 101 Cookie Making. Is this a mistake or should I enroll in a different class?
-Clueless Cletus
What I wish I could reply:
Dear Cletus,
First off, WTF are you trying to ask me? Classes haven't started yet, so I have not made any "introduction" to any class. I have not distributed any syllabi. I have not met any students for the upcoming semester. Second, who the fuck are you? I've certainly never met you. Do you always write emails to complete strangers without letting them know who the hell you are? Third, I'm not the fucking professor for this class. I'm not listed as the professor of this class anywhere--I am a lowly TA. Hell, I'm not even TA-ing Basket Weaving or Cookie Making this semester! I'm not sure why you think I have any control over class names or designations or syllabi or university websites or wherever the fuck you got your information. Fourth, you may refer to me as Mrs. Casa Grande, or TA Casa Grande--hell, even "Dear Candy" would have been acceptable. When you're emailing a complete stranger to ask them a fucking question, at least have the common courtesy to put a salutation in there. You want an answer, write something that actually makes sense.
Fuck you very much,
Candy
I know, I know, I'm being a tad bitchy. What can I say? Rude, nonsensical emails are just a hot button for me.
What I wish I could reply:
Dear Cletus,
First off, WTF are you trying to ask me? Classes haven't started yet, so I have not made any "introduction" to any class. I have not distributed any syllabi. I have not met any students for the upcoming semester. Second, who the fuck are you? I've certainly never met you. Do you always write emails to complete strangers without letting them know who the hell you are? Third, I'm not the fucking professor for this class. I'm not listed as the professor of this class anywhere--I am a lowly TA. Hell, I'm not even TA-ing Basket Weaving or Cookie Making this semester! I'm not sure why you think I have any control over class names or designations or syllabi or university websites or wherever the fuck you got your information. Fourth, you may refer to me as Mrs. Casa Grande, or TA Casa Grande--hell, even "Dear Candy" would have been acceptable. When you're emailing a complete stranger to ask them a fucking question, at least have the common courtesy to put a salutation in there. You want an answer, write something that actually makes sense.
Fuck you very much,
Candy
I know, I know, I'm being a tad bitchy. What can I say? Rude, nonsensical emails are just a hot button for me.
Here's one for ya:
ReplyDeleteDear Professor,
I noticed that the syllabus says that our essays have to be two pages/400 words in length. This might sound dumb but 400 words can fit on one page. So am I supposed to type two separate essays of 400 words each? If you could clarify I would greatly appreciate it.
Maybe he/she emailed the wrong person by mistake?
ReplyDeleteI actually wondered that at first, Laura. But I have a fairly distinctive uni email address, I'm the only grad student in my dept with my first name, and the student was asking a question about the department I TA in, so I don't think it was a mistake.
ReplyDeleteI like the rude emails from students. They pay my salary, after all.
ReplyDelete