To the fully half of my second class that didn't bother to show up today:
What the hell? I know the rough draft was due today but come on. Couldn't look me in the eye and take the ten point hit in person? Now you'll have to scramble to figure out who the 14 people who actually went are and ask them for rather important homework and notes. And no, I will not answer your frantic emails asking me what we did. That's why I told you all at the beginning of the semester that I don't do that shit.
To the people who emailed me their rough drafts last night and didn't bring a hard copy:
I know you're (maybe) trying to save paper. I know (for sure) that you completely weren't paying attention last week and mixed up the two very different directions and heard me talking about some people some time emailing their papers to me. That. Wasn't. You. Both of you coming up to me, breathless, because you couldn't be bothered to actually check your email and read what I send you, then print out your paper before coming to class is just annoying.
To the two clowns who came in late today:
Dude. Do not a) take turns peeking through the window in the door, b) waltz in, right in front of me, and yell out "Hey, what's up? How you been?" on your way to your seat, c) ask your neighbors what we're doing, especially when it's painfully obvious we're in the middle of a discussion, d) try to rifle through your bags, loudly, to get out your rough drafts when we continue discussion, and e) argue with me after class about how late you were and then pout once I correct everything you did wrong.
Fuck you both.
No love,
Midwest May
May, if I didn't suspect that the "midwest" reference in your name was accurate, I'd guess you taught at Safety School U out here on the east coast!
ReplyDeleteYou are SOOOOOOO gonna get called mean by the end of the semester! ;)
Remember to keep some of those thank-you cookies for yourself.
Oh May, I have a paper due today as well and I just checked my email to find it full of essays.
ReplyDeleteNo. I. Will. Not. Print. Out. Your. Essay. For. You.
No. It. Is. Not. On. Time. Until. You. Actually. Hand. It. To. Me. On. Paper.
Please. Read. Your. Syllabus. (I only read it to you ONE time dammit!)
How the FUCK FUCK FUCK do they think they can do peer reviews electronically in a classroom without computers!?!? NO ASSHOLES! NO! NO! NO! Your EMAIL DOES NOT COUNT! YOU LOSE!
Okay. I am composing myself. I will be calm. I will be "kind and compassionate" as I realize that faculty at Inner City Community College are KNOWN for their kindness and compassion and heaven help us if I FUCK THAT UP.
Be strong, May!
ReplyDeleteI would apologize, as I am one of the proffies who requires that papers be submitted electronically -- I do not accept paper copies.
ReplyDeleteBut college students are supposed to be in college -- you know, the intellectual big leagues (or at least AA ball). They can be expected to keep things straight, including which prof requires submissions in which format.
You should have seen the trouble I had getting my software engineering students to submit their project documents in subversion. The intention was that they learn how to use a version management system, as all software engineers use them in the real world. The result? One member of each project team came to me for the incantation which they wrote down and no one learned a thing.
ReplyDeleteWhat they didn't pay attention to was this:
ReplyDeleteEVERYONE was supposed to bring in hard copies of their rough drafts yesterday. THE FOUR WHO ARE WORKSHOPPING need to email me their drafts sometime tomorrow. I'm sure I'll get similar results next week when, again, the entire class is supposed to print out and bring hard copies to class to workshop them. If they don't, they'll be counted absent.
Meanie: You should see my ratemyprof and first semester student evals. You'd think I was the devil. :P As for the cookies...well, I just started a new diet. A really restrictive one. So I might give them out to the students on Tuesday.
Introvert and College Boy: I have them submit a hard copy (final draft, rough draft, and rubric), then before class they have to put it through SafeAssign on Blackboard -- that way I don't have to figure out if they plagiarized, the computer does it for me. The problem is, even though all they have to do is click on the link and FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS ON THE SCREEN, I will have a good handful that won't be able to accomplish that.
I have to admit I'm pretty casual, but that's part of the P'dine in me. but even I hate it when students come in with "hey" or more often "hey dude."
ReplyDeleteI'm like, I'm not your dude, kid.
I'm getting old.