Monday, September 27, 2010

Student Smackdowns

Allergic Al:
Okay, I'll accept that you had an extensive allergic reaction on the morning your paper was due. It's a bit of a stretch but whatever, I don't really fucking care. I'm glad you had the foresight to email me the paper when you told me why you couldn't make it to class. What I don't appreciate is that you then decided, even though you could read and respond to my emails, to a) wait forever to respond, and b) to disregard everything I said. Yes, you still have to upload your paper to the plagiarism device. Yes, you still have to give me a goddamn hard copy. Just because you emailed it to me doesn't mean you turned the fucking thing in! And sorry, but "My eyes were so swelled up I couldn't drive" doesn't cut it. First, you were able to read the damn emails just fine and second, that's not an excuse. Find someone else to drop off your fucking paper, moron. I thought you might have been going a little snowflake on me when you emailed me to tell me you couldn't get into the account workshop papers were sent to from said email address, but I chalked it up to a bought of laziness. Obviously shouldn't have given you the benefit of the doubt.

Rude Rita:
First you jump down my throat when I do you the service of telling you I'm feeling nice and not going to count you absent for being 20 minutes late to a 75 minute class, then you scream at me that it's my job to track down your workshop paper because it wasn't in the stack but by god, you did it and you want your ten points. Fuck you, woman. I don't care how old you are, you should know better than to treat someone who is essentially your boss like that, no matter how old I am or how shitty of a day you've had. Be happy I was tired because if I had just been angry, I would have chewed you a new one rather than just standing my ground. To then turn around and call me multiple times because you forgot to put your paper up on the plagiarism device, saved your paper on the library computer's desktop, and then couldn't figure out how to get it up is just stupid. Just because you somehow figured out that I'm on campus until 10 for my own classes doesn't mean that I'm available to you, idiot. And it certainly doesn't mean that I have to email you, call you, or have any interaction with you about your paper, which you still haven't put up five days later. By the way, I read through it yesterday. You didn't follow directions for shit and you'll probably fail the paper. Looks like you'll be losing a lot more than ten points.


  1. If my eyes were swelled up I wouldn't want to drive either; but then it was complete bullshit. Flunk them both. Everybody here says they want to be a hardass - go out there and prove it.

  2. If I was allowed to run the classroom like I want to, neither of them would be getting a grade for the paper at all, nor would the five other people who haven't put their papers up on Blackboard. Unfortunately, I have to work with what I've been given.

  3. Tell them you always assume that the ones who don't put their papers through Turnitin, as instructed, are avoiding it because it's plagiarized. Then put the papers through Turnitin yourself. Then use them as object lessons, bwahahaha.

    Presumably, however you don't have to grade it until it's up on Blackboard, so, go suck a rope, snowflakes ...


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.