Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Gimme a whip

I was in a meeting today when one of my administrators broke in apologetically. Could I please come? There were two professors fighting over a room.

I followed her out and she briefly explained the situation. We have a fancy online room-reservation system. It states clearly, that Dr. Meek has the room this hour. Prof. Snooty, however, insists that he needed an empty room and he asked the oracle FORRS for a free room and it listed this one. And he refuses to leave for her and her 40+ students. And he wouldn't leave for the administrator, either.

I check the online system again, make sure the room says on the door that it belongs to me, take a deep breath, and charge in. Prof. Snooty is a newish professor, but already a silverback who is so impressed with himself for having tenure. I introduce myself as the dean and request that he leave, pronto. "But the room is free!" No, it is not, and it belongs to me, and you get your butt out of here right now. I promise to help him find a free room. He requests 5 minutes to finish his sentence. Poor students.

We google the administrator for his department, and she is sitting: 2 doors down. I went there to insist that they instruct their professors in common decency and teach them to read and would she please get a room for Prof. Snooty? She gets all upset as if it is her fault and there are no rooms available and and and and and and and and and.

I crack through and ask her to please get him a room, go back (he's still talking), open the door, and usher my students in. They are timid, but there are more of them than there are of Prof. Snooty's. He finally shuts up and gathers his stuff to leave. I apologize to Dr. Meek (an adjunct) and return to my meeting. First thing off, I shoot an email to Other Dean (need I mention that this is the *same* faculty as Prof. Beer??) requesting that he speak with Prof. Snooty.

I think I need a whip. Or a whisky. Or both.


4 comments:

  1. Oh I had this great black cherry bourbon the other night...

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  2. Sometimes I wish that we could actually solve this problem like silverbacks. There are several of them in my department who I would very much like to approach while displaying my canines in an aggressive fashion and windmilling my arms (as in: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZItE4FQU784)

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  3. In the first few minutes of class, when students are still straggling in and handing in homework, I show my students in several of the larger classes (Intro Astronomy for Non-Majors, Physics for Engineers and Majors) clips from famous sci-fi movies. It's easy to justify, as part of their general education. The scene from "2001: A Space Odyssey," in which the ape throws the bone into the air and it turns into a spacecraft, is a favorite. In the scenes immediately before this, in which the apes are screaming at each other, I get a laugh by saying, "Now you get to see what goes on in a typical faculty meeting..."

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  4. Eeew, now I have contact shame. Apologies on behalf of my species, Suzy.

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