Coed: Professor, I'd do ANYTHING to get a better grade in your class.
Prof: Anything?
Coed: (breathy) ANYTHING!
Prof: Would you (whispers) study???
Seriously, I am glad you want to do better in class. Stop sitting in the back and talking with your BFFs and take notes!
You dirty old prof! How dare you make such indecent suggestions! ;-)
ReplyDeleteOne of my students actually started taking off his shirt during one of these conversations and I remember leaping up and yelling "STOP IT" in the same tone of voice I use when I discover the dog eating toilet paper or its own poop.
ReplyDeleteIf I were a man of faith I'd be praying God every day that no one ever thinks to try this with me. Followed shortly by prayers that if someone does, I'll do the right thing. Followed shortly by prayers that I'll be able, in that situation, to retain my grasp on what is ACTUALLY "the right thing."
ReplyDeleteThank goodness I'm homely.
Yellow Sundress.
ReplyDeleteYou know what's really poignant about this whole sorry episode? There's a good chance that she'd much rather fuck a grizzly old prof than actually study, and otherwise conduct herself in a manner becoming of a university student (as little as one generation ago, that is).
ReplyDeleteI did actually have someone send me an email that they'd "do anything" to pass. I set out several things they could do--taking notes, asking questions, etc. Basically I said if they worked hard they'd pass. They never came back to class.
ReplyDeleteLet us remind ourselves that for some, power trumps any of our shortcomings in the physical appearance department...and sometimes they don't really buy that whole "I'm just a lowly adjunct" crap.
ReplyDeleteFab Sun hit the nail on the head.
ReplyDeleteQuote from the post about the yellow sundress:
"I felt a sickness in the pit of my stomach about the inhuman people who surrounded this young girl who'd somehow created an environment where this sort of behavior was an option. "
The student wouldn't behave that way unless the behavior had been reinforced in the past. Don't blame the student. Blame all the other proffies she's had. Blame her parents, her friends, her priest, her coach, etc....
How the hell are we supposed to teach them the actual course material when they've got such a fucked-up worldview?
Bubba: I might have been one of those other proffies she's had, and I did not reinforce behavior like this. If anything, I provided her with opportunities to get away from that, by giving her instruction and incentive to learn to think rationally. Ultimately, the responsibility for her very bad behavior falls squarely on her.
ReplyDeleteBut then, how are we supposed to teach them about the world around them, when they can't even solve 1/2 + 1/3 = ?
> 1/2 + 1/3 = ?
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, that problem is a lot more complex than it might appear. It took me a good 20 minutes to figure out that the answer is "yellow."
Blame her parents
ReplyDeleteOne of my colleagues claims that, when he suggested "study" to a student such as the one described, she left. The next day her mother came in and tried the same thing; apparently they had decided that he didn't like his women so young.
Introvert prof: LOL! That's the old joke, you know you're getting older when you see a cute 18 yo girl and you think "boy, I bet her Mom is a beauty!"
ReplyDeleteNo, Mark, you know you're getting old when you think, "boy, I bet her Grandma's darned cute!"
ReplyDelete