Thursday, October 28, 2010
sick, but not ill... (and a tacked on big thirsty!)
And I did.
I'm not ill. I don't have the flu like seemingly a quarter of my colleagues - who have been ringing me up to sub for them on a nearly daily basis. I don't have food poisoning. My man is not sick. He doesn't need a ride. I don't have a flat tire. I don't have a sick grandma.
I'm just fucking sick of my job.
So I turned around in the hallway, an office hour and then two more classes in my future, walked to my car, and am now home. (I have Norah Jones going, a cup of tea, pajamas back on, and mental health returning quickly.)
Oh I know I've done a bad thing. I know I'm a prof flake, or just a flake, period. But there was NO way I was going to be worth much to my students today.
What a crummy semester this has been, especially my trio of composition courses on TTh. My God they're needy. Lazy. Unhappy. Dull. Listless. I have tried the stern approach, the fun approach. I brought in donuts one morning...and I hate doing that. Nothing seems to jar them. It's all "Do we have to?" about everything.
Now, to clear away some questions. No, I've never done this before. No, I don't plan on doing it again. Yes, I'm wearing pajamas and not those shorts!
But seriously, my brain was fried after my first class. Another 90 minutes of pulling teeth, of working harder for their progress than they work themselves. And I've pulling them through this class for 9 weeks now, and I'm sick of it.
I have to tell you I felt GREAT leaving campus. I drove with the windows down, enjoyed seeing little kids getting off school buses, and I when I walked into my empty house at 9:30 am (when I'm never home), the sun warmly bathed my bed and invited me back in.
So, several songs, several cups of tea, and a luxurious and sloppy yoga routine later, I feel like a million bucks.
My thirsty: What would you have done? Was I bad to indulge my anger and my annoyance? Have you ever done what I did? What should I have done instead?