Thursday, October 21, 2010

Two in two days? What's this fucking world coming to anyway? Archie's back with a Big Thirsty


So in response to the IIC post, Stella and I had a discussion about what you can get away with asking for in terms of course releases.

So here's my thirsty:

What's the most outrageous thing you've asked for during negotiations. And did you get it?

Mine is I once asked for two years of sabbatical when I had won three big grants simultaneously. I got three semesters, so it paid to ask.

12 comments:

  1. I am lowly and thus have done little negotiating. BUT, at my last job, I asked to bring my dog to work. My dog is a "companion animal," which is, medically speaking, a step down from those service dogs in the Milkbone commercials.

    The hiring committee looked nervously at each other. "Uh, you'd need to...um...human resources!" they finally exclaimed.

    I had to provide a doctor's note, a letter from my vet stating that the dog was not a menace, AND I had to produce scientific documentation that companion animals were, indeed, used as adjunctive therapy for mental illness. I do rather wonder if Miss Wonderbrain in Human Resources actually read those articles from various scholarly journals...

    Hah. That dog was the most popular animal in the department for two whole terms, far outstripping even Senor Sexypants Sociologist next door.

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  2. #1, I love that the Big Thirsty gets asked on the RIGHT day...haha. Any other Thirsty that appears on M, Tu, W, Fr, Sa, Su, can be "a" thirsty, but only on this day do we get the chance to make it "big."

    I have normally been quite shy at negotiation time, so my "outrageous" request was modest...new computer and paint for my office, please?

    I've been wowed by tales that other have shared and will endeavor to be more brave next time I get a chance.

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  3. Archie?

    One wonders why you're at a site called "College Misery". Three semesters of sabbatical? Graduate students pounding on your door to work with you? Perhaps you ought not to be doing any complaining about the misery.

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  4. I'm an adjunct with a research record I'd have to spin to make mediocre. And I was able to get lab space at one of the places where I teach.

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  5. Oh I've got misery too. Underflakes, gradflakes, and whatnot. And one of the big downsides of having grad flakes coming to work with you is that then you get to experience all the anxiety associated with your own completion and job search, but multiple times over on behalf of people for whom you feel a measure of responsibility. I've placed them pretty well so far, but it still sucks every time. And I worry that I've done my best by each and every one of them. It is rewarding, but it also miserable. Does that help?

    As I said elsewhere, every job is a trade off in terms of its problems. And that's why I'm here.
    What I like most about CM, and RYS before it, is that it reminds me that academia is not a monolith. There are all kinds of careers in this shitty profession, and I like getting a window into what it is like for the other people here who teach at SLACS, regionals, CCs; in the sciences and social sciences, humanities and fine arts. We have a lot in common in some ways, especially flakes in all their varieties; but some of the differences are interesting to hear about too.

    That's what makes this venue unique. Show me another one that gives you the full panorama of academic flora and fauna on a daily basis.

    But back to the topic at hand. Come on, y'all can do better than this. Black Dog is kicking all y'all's asses so far. I mean I know someone who negotiated for a special and really expensive office chair for his back, then got hosed with a shitty computer. Bring it on peoples...

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  6. I asked for a one-semester sabbatical, having not even had a summer off for 26 years, while producing in teaching, research and administration.

    I was turned down, and now am the interim department chair.

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  7. I've really never asked for anything save for the negotiation over original salary, in which case(s) I got about five hundred dollars more per year.

    Office space was shared; in one situation I was in a cubicle for two years. I make more now and have the best office EVAH, but it was not a "negotiation." Travel expenses? Gris gris? No negotiations there either.

    So, I have nothing outrageous to report. I would like to bring my little dog to school, but she would bark and pee on things.

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  8. This is a really good question. If only because our hiring committees have been talking about how negotiation on salary could be cause to move to the next person on the list. I like to think that the faculty member who said that was bluffing, but I'm worried she'd actually do that. She really likes the power.

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  9. > What's the most outrageous thing you've asked
    > for during negotiations.

    A trip to Hawai'i, to go observing with the Keck I telescope. (I also managed to get a little beach time in too, naturally.)


    > And did you get it?

    Yep.

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  10. I have nothing to contribute but envy. In CC Universe (or at least my galaxy), there is no such thing as a sabbatical, only an unpaid leave of absence. Contracts are standardized, as are the salary scale and tenure clock. I suppose the best thing I ever negotiated was three years of partial course release to do a comprehensive study on developmental English students with use of both quantitative and qualitative measures. The days when we could get released time for research or creative endeavors are long gone.

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  11. I think the closest I came was telling my department chair, at the end of my first full-time year, that I was sorry, but that I couldn't afford to work as an adjunct if they didn't have a another full-time contract to offer me. He came back with the full-time offer a few weeks later. But that wasn't really a negotiation (except perhaps between the chair and a dean), but a matter of enrollments and the chair's being decent enough not to hold my unwillingness to take an adjunct assignment against me.

    I did once get an agreement in principle from a chair that I could take a year off and return to another one-year contract if I got an outside fellowship, but didn't get the fellowship.

    I'm afraid I have much more experience with taking whatever is thrown at me (some of it blatantly unfair and/or unreasonable) and making little or no protest than with asking for things, let alone getting them.

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