Last Sunday, I received an email from the father of one of my students. He explained that his daughter had been battling depression and anxiety all semester and, over Thanksgiving, had "a breakdown." He asked if his daughter and he could meet with me to talk about what to do about the end of the semester.
At first I was shocked that he was involved. And then I thought a bit more and realized that I knew the student. She'd been to office hours a few times, and she often sat in one of the front two rows of Gigantic Lecture Course. So I thought "well, whatever this is, it's probably legit." Also, I HAD noticed the student looking increasingly wan and pale through the semester, so it didn't exactly surprise me.
Student and Daddy Dearest arrived at the appointed hour at my office and we talked about what was going on with student. Over my protestations that I really didn't need to know about her medical stuff, they told me all about it. (It wasn't that I didn't care. It was more "Look, there are some privacy issues involved here and PLEASE don't feel that you have to tell me anything.") Then, we got down to the Brass Tacks (tm) of how she might finish the term.
I had a pile of exams ready to hand back in the next class, and I was in the process of entering the grades into blackboard. I said "Well, you did very well on the second exam. Here, I'll give it back to you." I then hauled my pile of 220 exams out of the canvas bag that I keep them in so that I don't lose any.
Daddy Dearest's eyes bulged slightly.
I started thumbing through the exams which were in roughly alphabetical order. Daddy Dearest cleared his throat and asked "Um, are those ALL for Sad Sara's class?"
"Yup!" I cheerfully replied, still thumbing.
"How many...um, how many are there?" he inquired, pulling at his shirt collar.
"Oh, about 220 of them," I said.
"But you have help grading them, right?" he asked.
"Nope," I said. "Welcome to Second String State!"
I think this was the first time he'd considered exactly WHAT he was paying for...and it sure wasn't the SLAC experience that the carefully landscaped and manicured "quadrangle" of SSS is meant to simulate.
I want to gently point out - in a way that isn't meant to be critical since Black Dog acted appropriately - that when a student has a 'breakdown' or other severe psychological issues, it's tough for them to meet with a professor and figure out how to finish the term. Not necessarily because they are overly-dependent little snowflakes with helicopter parents, but because it's not easy to talk to professors, or anyone else for that matter, if you are suffering from extreme anxiety, depression, or other psychological problems. The student might wonder if she will actually make sense during the discussion, or if her anxiety will kick in, or if she will burst into tears, hyperventiliate in a panic attack, or even remember whatever it is that you suggested she do to finish the term. Having a parent there means at least there will be someone who is collected enough to get her assignments and take note of any additional work that needs to be done and any deadlines for submitting that work. I would say this is one of those rare occassions when a parent should be involved. Revealing TMI is a different issue, but merely bringing a parent along is understandable and in fact I would venture that it's probably for the best, so that she can have some support in order to complete her work and hopefully not fail the course.
ReplyDeleteI know this was not the point of your post, but I can't help but have compassion for this girl, particularly because she doesn't seem like a bad student, just having some difficulties. Maybe it's because I hardly know anyone who hasn't had some sort of mental problem during their lifetime - whether it's drug addiction, insomnia, panic attacks, postpartum depression, bipolar disorder, and so forth. Even doing something as simple as picking up schoolwork can seem very daunting, even terrifying, in such circumstances and it can be very reassuring to have a parent or a friend to help out.
As a freshman, I got sick with a very high fever - 103.5 for weeks, and 101 for months. I was completely delirous and hallucinating, and my mom had to call my professors and tell them I could not take my final exams. In fact I ended up having to leave school for a semester just to recover. But my point is that while I was delirious, I was, well, crazy. Had I telephoned my professors, I would not have made any sense at all. Because my illness was entirely physical rather that psychological (or phyical/psychological) didn't make me any less crazy. It was obvious that I needed help and so did your student, for reasons that are ultimately not that different. Needing help to cope with such issues is not a character flaw.
Again, not criticizing Black Dog's behaviour, which seems perfectly appropriate given the situation, just stating why a parent might have to be involved. I'll step down from the soapbox now.
Recently a student of mine underwent a completely horrifying trauma. Her parents were the ones who contacted the counsellors, who contacted her instructors. Totally understandable. She wasn't in any shape to be talking to anyone.
ReplyDeleteBut this is why I always ask students/parents to contact the counselling centre first, before they talk to me about how to finish the semester. I want evidence that they have at least spoken to the counsellors about their problem. It's not because I don't care, but because I'm not a counsellor and I want to be sure the student is getting help from a professional (whether through our services or elsewhere) before we start sorting out the nuts and bolts of finishing schoolwork. I honestly think the schoolwork thing is secondary to mental health.
I recently was visited by an astronomy professor from Brazil. When he asked me how many students I had in my intro-astronomy-for-non-majors class, I replied "100," and he was shocked. Fortunately, I had handy the blow-up of the picture I took during the first week of class that I use to learn names. Every time some knucklehead like Charlie Sykes or Dick Morris brays that professors are lazy, I'd like to show him my stack of grading---or rather, I'd like to shove it up his ass. I don't, because I'm more likely to ask him about sources of research funding.
ReplyDeleteIn writing about this visit, I went with the low-hanging fruit: Dad's reaction to my teaching load.
ReplyDeleteBy way of follow-up:
The young lady had contacted the on-campus counseling center.
Full disclosure: I actually visited the OCCC myself early in the term to familiarize myself with the psych resources available to students. We all have our little pet projects...mine happens to be mental health. Appropriately or not, I wanted to know what I was sending kids into.
The OCCC had singularly failed this young lady, it seemed to me. Basically, they couldn't provide the level of care that she needed, and her folks had done a good job of getting her hooked up with other medical professionals.
I was really touched by her dad's effort on her behalf, too, although for personal reasons. My own mental illness didn't get fired up until grad school (as is typical given brain chemistry development) and my parents are firmly of the "It's your own fault, you are a lazy ass-hat" school. They are so firmly of this school that they don't know I've been hospitalized (voluntarily and without interrupting my teaching) three times.
So, yeah. When Dad pitched up, he was quietly supportive, and I was very impressed with both him and his daughter's attempt to manage the end of term as best they could.
An addition: When I say the OCCC had failed her, I don't think it's entirely their fault -- they seem to be massively underfunded and seriously overburdened, but the reasons for that are probably best left for a different post.
ReplyDeleteThis does, indeed, sound like one of those cases where Daddy's presence was useful (and educational -- for him). My standard approach when parents contact me about a serious illness, mental or physical (either using their own email or the student's -- which always strikes me as a bit weird, but is actually not uncommon. Or, I should say, receiving emails from a student's address which purport to come from the student's parent is not uncommon), is to thank them for the information, and ask them to have the student contact me him/herself when he/she is well enough to resume work.
ReplyDeleteThis approach is shaped both by my understanding of FERPA and my belief that students should take charge of their own lives and educations (I also ignore requests for progress reports from the athletic department, but sometimes, around the time those requests come in, remind the class as a whole where to find their current grades). Of course, there are times when someone simply isn't capable of informing a teacher, or a boss, of the reason for a prolonged absence, and in that situation it makes sense for a responsible other party to step in. Coma is a pretty clear example; hospitalization for mental illness would probably be another. Depression and anxiety not resulting in hospitalization are less clear-cut; I guess it depends how debilitating the combination is at the moment in question (and I do realize it can be quite debilitating).
So, I'm not exactly sure how I would have replied to Daddy's email. I think I might have mentioned FERPA as a reason for asking that the student contact me herself to make the appointment (and to make sure that Daddy didn't show up on his own, putting me in a really awkward situation), but I also would have made it clear that she was welcome to bring whomever she chose with her (and would have praised her for facing and dealing with the situation -- something I always do in response to emails in which students mention that they have recently identified, and are now dealing with, a mental illness). I like aemilia's idea of asking whether the student and/or parent has contacted the counseling center. I may borrow that if the occasion arises.
Note: I was apparently writing the above at the time BlackDog's two comments appeared, so it's more a reply to earlier posts than to hers.
ReplyDeleteCassandra raises a good point about FERPA. The initial email from Dad asked if they could -both- meet with me. I wouldn't have met with him on his own. Daughter did most of the talking.
ReplyDeleteI have a 43 year old student. This student has ptsd, adhd, and bipolar disorder. He is currently in very depressed state and is not answering the counselor's calls and emails. He is not attending class and not responding to my emails. His phone number is no longer in service. I'm not worried about his taking his essay test and final exam. I'm worried that he had done the unthinkable and I don't know what I can do.
ReplyDelete@BlackDog: sounds like this is actually a functional family pairing. Nice to see one now and then; it is, indeed, the way these things are supposed to work.
ReplyDelete@Katharine: sadly, I fear that you (and the counselor) have done all that you can do. The diseases you name are, indeed, diseases, and, sadly, like other diseases, they sometimes claim those they afflict. Of course, if you had direct evidence that he was an immediate danger to himself or others (e.g. a comment along the lines of "the final exam/essay test doesn't matter, because I don't intend to be alive by the time grades come out anyway") then contacting the authorities for a welfare/mental health check/evaluation might be in order. But it sounds like he's already received the responses appropriate to the behavior he's exhibiting.
Blackdog: I should have clarified earlier--I was responding above as a followup to Programming Patty's comment, not to your post. I think you definitely handled the situation the right way, as PP said in her comment too. I'm glad your student has as much parental support as she does.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the response, Contigent Cassandra.
ReplyDeleteThe student did email me and he mentioned that his health care team is doing its best to keep him from being a danger to himself and others.
@Katharine: I'm glad to hear that he's getting appropriate care, and that he was considerate enough to allay your anxieties. That sounds like someone who is, on a basic level at least, coping.
ReplyDelete