Academic Research CoatWhenever you leave your igloo of history-riddled books, you pull on this autumn-hued tweed coat and strut outside in confidence. This coat's full-button front and figure-flattering sash keep you feeling smart, and its lined, plaid-patterned fabric puts your mind at ease so you can think about loftier things, such as what order of thoughts will best support your hypothesis once you begin writing.
Ivy League Scholar BlazerEmbody elegant and refined scholarly style with this pale ivory blazer as part of your sophisticated ensemble. In addition to rounded lapels, this blazer features lengthy sleeves decked out with covered buttons along the cuffs, a sultry, single-button closure in front, tailored princess seams, and a black- and white-striped lining that's downright fantastic. Earn an A+ in creativity.
Classics Department Blazer
Study the classics with authority and poise when you wear this velvety black blazer with round, brushed brass buttons by Tulle Clothing. Its accessible flap front pockets and notched collar give an official look to this exceptionally luxurious piece. Rubbing elbows with professors becomes a soft endeavor and reciting ancient philosophy becomes second nature when you wear it.
Straight 'A' Student CoatYou've done it again, and you have a spotless report card to prove it! Wear this long, fully-lined, navy coat as you waltz toward the refrigerator to display your proof! Baby blue, denim, and cream twill line the rounded yoke, collar, cuffs, and accessible, buttoned, front pockets. This heavy duty coat, designed and produced in the UK by Gonsalves & Hall, is ready for some serious study sessions, and promises to keep you comfortable during long, chilly walks to the library during finals week.
Scholarly Pursuits Jacket
With your thesis defense in a few hours, you've got to save plenty of energy for intellectual argument. Thankfully, you've planned to wear this chic, tweed jacket by Steve Madden in front of the committee, allowing you to both look and feel pulled-together when it really counts! The jacket's tweed, textured fabric is reminiscent of classic professorial garb, while the sleek, fitted shape keeps its look utterly modern.
Semester in Brighton Jacket
You've learned a lot during your time studying in the South of England - not the least of which is the importance of a good, versatile jacket. With roomy side pockets for stashing school supplies and a front that zips and snaps up into a cozy turtleneck, this dark khaki number offers just what you need for the grey fall days you spend walking to and from your school, while its pretty floral lining and flattering drawstring waist make it a handsome choice for hanging out with friends by the water.
Play it Cool Blazer
Whether it's relaxing in your romance, fretting a little less about finances, or letting the paint fly where it may, this navy blue, bolero-style jacket is a reminder that, sometimes, it's good to take it easy. Its loose, button-cuff sleeves, handkerchief hem, and lightly padded shoulders provide a casually structured look that's sure to please. Throw this cropped, cool garment over a white T-shirt, skinnies, and knee-high boots for a look that's absolutely à la mode.
Better Slate than Never Jacket
You'll arrive to your destination in good time, but first, you have some things to take care of - important tasks like stopping to smell the roses, or your coffee, or the lovely waft of perfume that drifts past you on a boutique-rich street. Wear this felty soft, silver-lined, slate coat to the next place your presence is requested. Its decorative, tiger's eye-buttoned front pocket flaps and loop button front closure keep distracting you from your lackadaisical journey toward your day's plans. You may be keeping your friends waiting, but aren't you worth the wait? Of course you are!
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What do you say we come up with our own line of student clothing? Perhaps we could call it MISERABLE SNOWFLAKES. I'm sure we could work up styles, names, and descriptions that really fit.
Seven fifty-five shirt
ReplyDeleteNamed for the time of the morning when you wake for your eight o'clock class, this simple long sleeve pullover shirt helps you achieve that classic "I didn't just wake up" look using modern technology.
First, its wrinkle-free fabric allows you to keep it wadded up in your pile of dirty clothes without anybody suspecting. The Seven Fifty Five has Febreeze(R) infused fabric to prevent rank smells from eminating from your foul body. It masks uncivilized odors with a friction-activated release mechanism. Your classmates are greeted by a faint, refreshing fragrance with your every movement - wether you are texting your new BFF, slumping in your desk as you sleep or even taking notes. Stain-Guard(R) protection and stylish designs mean that you can wear it out to the bars at night, sleep (or anything else) in it when you get home, and then wear it to class. Not having to change clothes shaves forty seconds off the time you need to get to class - extra beauty sleep for you!
I love everything you picked out here!
ReplyDeleteCrust-ees Jeans
ReplyDeleteNever needs to be washed; instead forms a self-cleaning crust that falls off at 2am keggers. If only your socks could do that!
How about a fashion line for us? "Practical teaching jacket! Neutral dark colour goes with everything, nondescript style - no one will notice you've worn it every day this term. Sharp enough for professional use but comfortable enough to wear for all your daily activities - dashing across campus, gesticulating in front of a sleeping class, arguing with students, colleagues and administrators, marking until 2 a.m. and falling asleep at your desk exhausted. Fits over every other top in your wardrobe, conceals stains, tears, missing buttons, shirts you've worn for 2 weeks already. Warm enough for the parking-lot commute, light enough to wear while teaching. Coffee, lunch, wine-with-marking wipe off with a damp kleenex. Same Febreeze(R) infused fabric you wish to God your students would use. Cut down your laundry bills and ease your morning fashion decisions; just grab it off the floor (if you undressed before you fell into bed) and pull it on on your way out the door from beginning to end of term.
ReplyDeletePssst Pants
ReplyDeleteThese versatile pants are made from a breathable fabric that wicks away perspiration and other unwanted "moisture." Perfect for after an all night kegger or for those pesky professors that simply won't let you leave class for "emergencies." Designed to artufully hide your favorite adult pads. Fabric slot for easy insert and and removal. Your seatmates will never know your secret due to the clever design and odor control fabric which comes in your favorite scents (I 'Axed and Brittany Spears' Stink our most popular).
Go to class after a night of binge drinking with confidence! Never miss another word of your favorite 3 hour lecture class. Get Pssst!
Cheaters Ever Prosper
ReplyDeleteThis voluminous sweater is oversized in every way. Mountains of fabric are interlaced with small pockets in which you can stash crib sheets. The inside of each incredibly long sleeve is lined with our patented dry-erase fabric, on which you can write additional notes to yourself. Despite these innovations, the sweater is designed to be very breathable and light, so that your will professors never see you sweating suspiciously.
Think your professor is on to you? With one tug of the drawstring at the bottom of the sweater, all the pockets will close tightly and the dry-erase panels reverse. Evidence? What evidence? Class dismissed.
p.s. Bitchy Bear, if I ever make it to Boston, let's go shopping together.
ReplyDeleteThe Posture Collar
ReplyDeleteThis stylish device looks like an unusual piece of art jewelry. However, it secretly supports your noggin, preventing the painful jerking that accompanies sudden wakefulness in class.
I, personally, would like gloves that collect chalk dust that can then be exploded out of the finger tips (jazz hands!) to punctuate crucial lecture points.
Accessory suggestion: Taser pointer
ReplyDelete