Today Creepy Christmas Card Giving Kiss Ass sent me an e-mail to:
- thank me for her grade
- tell me she's so excited thinking about "the little one growing in your tummy"
- ask for a recommendation
My plan is to say that I was happy she was able to do well in the class having missed so many classes, but that I don't know her well enough to write her a strong recommendation. But should I show the e-mail or the Christmas card to anyone in case the girl is... off? I think it's just a gross lack of maturity, but something is just icky about it.
Or are my thoughts just from the humiliation that this chick keeps harping on my pregnancy when I'm not even pregnant. Is she particularly weird, or am I just embarrassed that I must be so grotesquely mishapen that one could with such confidence gush about a perceived pregnancy?
Of course you're grotesque. You're a college professor. Ick. Seriously. Gross.
ReplyDeleteBut turn that empty-wombed frown upside-down. Don't think of it as: "That student thinks I'm pregnant!" Think of it as "That student thinks I'm getting laid!" Puts a better spin on it, no?
As for the rec, I would just ignore the cheery, creepy student for a bit. When they write again, just say "Gee, I don't think I'm the person to speak to your strengths. You missed an awful lot of class..."
Ignore the kiss-ass stuff. She obviously thinks you're stupid as well as pregnant. But you're smart enough not to give her that rec!
And when she does figure out you're not preggers, she's going to want to hit herself with a hammer.
While I'm enjoying the mother/baby wombat pictures (and the hiking one a post or so ago), so I suppose I ought to be grateful to the impetus, yes, she goes beyond simply boundary-challenged/inappropriate to totally creepy/very, very weird. Still, I think I'd try the most neutral "I don't know you well enough" refusal possible on the recommendation and hope she just goes away, since I suspect that, if you said anything about your non-pregnancy and/or the inappropriateness of her comments even if you *were* pregnant, she might spend the rest of her college career, and perhaps beyond, bothering you with apologies.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like she's just pregnancy-obsessed in general; I doubt it really has anything to do with you. That doesn't seem dangerous, but I suppose it wouldn't hurt for you to make sure that someone in your real life knows about this, and knows where to find the evidence if anything weird(er) happens. If she kidnapped you with the intention of stealing the baby once it was born (which has been known to happen, though *very* rarely), that could get really awkward.
In about five months, send the little idiot an online notice from your favorite expensive shop (the one you registered at for your imaginary baby shower/birth/announcement/etc) so that she can buy you something. But first, register at the shop and choose some expensive gifts. Make it more compelling by providing a photo of the newborn wombat and details about some dreadful congenital disease it has. Request prayers and expensive gifts.
ReplyDeleteDon't you have a spam filter that misfiled this email? Delete.
ReplyDeleteThere's a reason that Southern Bubba has a Ph.D. - genius!
ReplyDeletePerhaps she is referring to the bacteria that symbiotically live in your intestines. It is pretty cool that they help break down waste material for us.
When faced with the question, "Is it me or are these kids a bunch of idiots?", I think you know what the proper response is.
I would go the Southern Bubba route; if she wants to go down this path, you have to make it expensive. Hopefully she'll just give up.
ReplyDeleteYou could agree and write the recommendation. "This person has poor socia skills and little or no ability to relate to others without making grossly inappropriate remarks."
ReplyDeleteI don't know, I would actually want to tell her the truth. "I'm sorry, I don't know your work well enough to write you a reference. I'm not pregnant, but thanks for your good wishes!"
ReplyDeleteI would embarrass the hell out of her.
ReplyDelete"Normally people don't comment on other people's bodies in a Christmas card, but even those who are socially awkward enough to think that's okay usually wait until someone is actually pregnant."
I do a variation of this whenever someone emails me "Mr Monkey" instead of "dr" "prof" or "ms" and they tend to be slightly horrified.
I get a bunch of these sickly sweet thank you notes around letter writing time. I don't think they are creepy, just inappropriate. I read them and toss them in the recycle bin. I simply tell students that they need to contact faculty who are more familar with their record...I am thinking about putting a policy on my syllabi telling students not to ask me for letters of recommendation unless they have had two or more classes with me...not sure if this is appropriate.
ReplyDeleteAs for the pregnanct thing....thank her for her good wishes, but point out you are not pregnant. Do it in front of other students, and faculty.
Wow, you people need to chill. Sometimes us students really are just trying to be nice, not creepy. And it can be pretty hurtful if something nice you do is taken that way. Last week I saw a prof I had two years ago and I told him about how I still have a recording of one of his lectures and how sometimes I listen to it over and over alone in my bedroom because I like hearing his voice. He reacted much the same way you guys did and it still saddens me deeply.
ReplyDelete