Big Mouth Bertha: I heard you complaining about your other prof about 6 classes down the hallway, about how that prof was totally unfair and didn't understand you have other priorities in your life. When I saw that you were a "mature" student with a gaggle of young followers, I immediately labelled you "most likely to give me a giant pain in my ass this semester". So, like, thanks for the heads up.
Sally Snowflake: Usually I end the first class of semester about half an hour early, so when you told me you had to leave "a few minutes early," I thought I had you covered. Here's some news: leaving 20 minutes in to an 80 minute class is not "a few minutes". Also, if you are going to leave, just fuck the hell off. Don't interrupt me to tell me you are leaving now, and then hang around in the doorway to do your introduction before you go. I have you tagged as "Sally Snowflake"; I don't need to know your actual name.
Missing Morris, Mandy, Michael and Melanie: Yes, the first week of classes contain actual learnings. No, you can't just skip them, even though you totally just did.
Balding Bob: Dude, what the hell happened to your hair? You were in my class no more than 3 semesters ago, and I am pretty sure you had hair on all of the parts of your head, and not just the sides. Your program must be really stressful.
"Balding Bob," cancer?
ReplyDeleteNo, it was totally Male Pattern.
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ReplyDeleteBig Mouth Bertha isn't an undergraduate education major, is she? She sounds like a student I wanted to BEG not to become a teacher, because she'd do SO much harm. But of course, that was before I had tenure, so I didn't dare say a thing.
ReplyDeleteAh... "The Missing". I had a couple of those last night. No Email, nothing.
ReplyDeleteAnd the first night of class we got out early: by 4 minutes.
Similar to WhatLadder said, there's actual learning going on in the first class (mostly tutorials) that will help them do their first assignment. Those who miss the first class always get perplexed on why their grades on the first assignment are sooooo bad.
I meet my new batch next week... spring semester is always a mixed bag of repeaters, flakes, former art history majors who now want to be doctors, you get the idea. I fully expect 15% of the people enrolled on the first day to be gone by the end of the week so I don't even bother with nicknames until the first quiz or so.
ReplyDeleteBig Mouth Bertha, I get one of these asshats every Spring semester...ughhh
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