Number of students: 99
Number of freshmen: 82
Number of Multiple Choice Questions: 35
Number of Open-Ended Questions: 10
Number of students who asked what "fallow" meant: 9
Number of chapters assigned in which the word "fallow" appeared no less than 4 times: 1
Number of online learning software questions that use the word "fallow": 3
Number of students who asked what "extant" meant: 4
Number of lectures in which the word "extant" was used: at least 3
Number of students who asked what the word "intensive" meant: 3
Number of students who, when I said "Well, when we say somebody does 'intensive' exercise, what does that mean?" responded with "Uh...like not a lot of exercise?" : 1
Number of martinis consumed while reading 5 exams: 2
Number of martinis consumed while attempting to meet publication deadline: 1
To hypnotize a shark, rub its nose. There is a great deal of theory behind the precise application of the nose-rubbing, some of which involves meditating on fallow fields.
Words for which definitions were requested during a recent midterm:
ReplyDelete"shortcoming"
"exacerbate"
"feedback"
Intensive noserubbing while meditating on extant fallow fields.
ReplyDelete"The shortcomings of your vocabulary will only exacerbate the negative feedback you will receive on this midterm".
I can add "fallow" between "denouement" and "nihilism" on my "Words I learned on CM." vocabulary list. You guys should make one of those "Word a day" calendars for us chemists, astronomers and crazymathprofessor(s).
ReplyDeleteWasn't it Beaker Ben who had to break out the dictionary for "ennui," one of the two main states of being of the RYS years - angst being the other?
ReplyDeleteThere are all sorts of cool things to learn here!
New banner: "College Misery: From Ennui to Angst to - actually, that's it. Ennui. Angst. We're done."
ReplyDeleteYour students are dumber than a box of rocks. That is all.
ReplyDeleteThis astronomer knows all those words, as well as "careen," which I've been asked to define when I had it on an exam. I've also been asked how many feet were in a mile.
ReplyDeleteTo hypnotize a shark, do you really rub its nose? What prevents the shark from biting you, while you're doing this? This sounds to me like, "If you pick a skunk up by its tail, it can't spray you" (Great: even if that works, how do you put the skunk down?) or, "You can catch a jackalope if you put salt on its tail."
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeletehttp://io9.com/#!5737269/how-to-hypnotize-a-shark-and-other-tales-of-animal-mind-control
I suspect that you perhaps grab it with one of those noose things that keeps its jaws closed, then rub the nose, then release? I'm not sure. But definitely the nose-rub. I think this is in some way related to the "if it bites you, punch it in the nose and it will let go" thing.
I knew you'd know, Froderick.
ReplyDeleteIn a regularly offered summer course whose popular culture subject never fails to pull in half-wit grade grubbers by the dozens, I introduce on day one and proceed to use throughout the term a Great Big Polysyllabic Sesquipedalian Word as a major reference point. I write it on the board (slowly), I define it at length, I apologize for reiterating it so much, I point out endless examples of it in our primary material, and yes, write it into my exam questions.
ReplyDeleteYou guessed it: No sooner had I passed out my first midterm than I was accosted by a half-shaven, grimy-toed, mouth-breathing, hoodied homunculus who, as if coached by Central Casting, proceeded to purr like a cross between a stoned FM deejay and William F. Buckley, a mere inch from my face, "Mmmmm...ahhh...what...ahh...exactly does [GBPSW]mean? Do you want us...mmmmm...to..uh...use it in our essay? Do we have to..."
I don't remember exactly what happened next, but a few students later mumbled something about a crossbow being involved.
I, too, learned 'ennui' from RYS. Actually, I thinking using both 'ennui' and 'angst' in the same sentence would work well as a sort of 'secret handshake' in academic circles, identifying one as a RYS/CM person.
ReplyDeleteI once had a student ask during an exam if 'ethics' (a term used multiple times in the course material) meant "where you come from."
I first learned of "ennui" from Edward Gorey's Gashlycrumb Tinies: http://wuff.me.uk/gorey/P11.html
ReplyDeleteDuring my last test, I had a student ask me how to spell "hypocrite," and another wonder what "pacify" meant. Maybe those are difficult words, but their vocabularies are woefully lacking.
(This link actually leads somewhere, and if you've never seen the Gashlycrumb Tinies, it's worth it.)
ReplyDeleteGashlycrumb Tinies
I learned about "lenticular clouds" here!
ReplyDeleteI actually had to write about the word "ennui" for my MA. If you check the OED, you'll see that "ennui" first entered English in about 1800 and was referred to as that French word for which the English have no need because it describes and emotion we never experience.
ReplyDeleteI think we should instead have a word of the day which displays all the words our students don't know or misuse. Have you noticed the frequent misuse of the word "emphasize" lately?
I once had students ask me what I meant by "left wing" and "right wing" because "we totally had no idea what you were talking about."
I've had students ask how to spell words that are in the statement of the question they are being asked to answer. Not a long essay. A two sentence answer.
ReplyDeleteIf I put "lenticular clouds" as an item on an exam, half my students would wet themselves. After all, "lenticular" has four syllables.
ReplyDelete@Froderick: I should have given you credit for that word. I was thrilled when you wrote about it because I had never heard about them before and immediately looked it up. Now I know something else I didn't know before!!!
ReplyDeleteFroderick: I'm going to use "lenticular" in every sentence I say today.
ReplyDelete@Froderick: not only am I using "lenticular," in all of my sentences, but I googled "lenticular clouds." OH EM GEE! Beeyoootifull! My angst has subsided.
ReplyDeleteDear Irritated: I hope your final exam is chock full of words they don't understand. Like: savant, and pundit, and melange, and regime (all words my students were confused by on their midterms).
I've had a student ask what "pentagon" means during an exam.
ReplyDelete@Wombat: Mathematicians also read books.
ReplyDeleteWhen I explain what an epigraph is, I'm also careful to explain "epitaph" (complete with little drawings of a quotation at the top of a text and a gravestone). If I only explain epigraph, I get essays referring to top-quotations as "epitaphs." I'm not sure why; maybe it's an auto-correct issue).
ReplyDelete@Stella:
ReplyDeleteTo really confuse them more, you should throw some epigrams in there.