When I was in first grade, I learned about lying. At school around Christmas time, my teacher had given each of us a candy cane, which I brought to my after-school program. At snack time, I brought out the candy cane and prepared to eat it, only to have the head of the program--let's call her Jamie--tell me that I wasn't allowed to. The program encouraged healthy snacks, and every day my dad packed me something healthy to eat. I had wanted to eat the candy cane instead.
Jamie's refusal upset me. It felt unfair that I didn't get to eat the candy cane. So when I got home, I complained to my parents that Jamie wouldn't let me eat "the snack that Daddy packed me." I wanted them to be as mad at Jamie as I was.
Had I been older, I would have thought of the fact that they could and would call me out on this blatant lie, and soon. Jamie, in addition to running the after-school program, was our next-door neighbor. One quick phone call straightened everything out, and my parents learned that Jamie had disallowed the candy cane, not the snack Daddy packed me.
My parents talked to me, and Jamie talked to me, and I learned a lesson about lying and telling the truth. (There then ensued a sub-lesson on the difference between lying and joking, lying and teasing, etc.)
So how does this relate to the academy? Eight simple words: "But I need this laptop for taking notes!"
No you don't. You'd like to have the laptop for taking notes, and you may even use the laptop for taking notes, but I know full well that you're on Facebook and playing video games because I CAN SEE YOU. Am I a mean proffie because I made everyone put the laptops away? No. Your laptops are candy canes, so don't try to make me feel guilty by telling me they're the snack Daddy packed you. I know you're lying, as surely as I know "I'm taking notes on my phone" is an even worse lie.
I learned this lesson in first grade, you shit heads. What's taking you all so long?
Here's what's taking them so long (and is what I tell my colleagues): they think we're stupid.
ReplyDeleteIf we were allowed to bring wireless signal jammers to class, I'd buy my own.
No, Daddy and Mommy believed every word Precious said about Mean Jamie (who didn't live next door.) There was no follow-up with Mean Jamie, so Precious learned that a grain of truth equals enough truth.
ReplyDeleteThat's Jailhouse Lawyering 101: Using Technicalities to Get Your Way
Dammit, Ruby... when are they supposed to update their Facebook status?
ReplyDeleteSnowflake Stan is wondering when red-assed Ruby will shut up!
If the commercial I saw during the Super Bowl is to be believed, they can now update their Facebook status while driving.
ReplyDeleteSeriously: http://www.bnet.com/blog/gadget-guy/chevy-cruze-8217s-dumb-super-bowl-ad-reading-facebook-in-the-car/1616
I learned how to write cursive in second grade. What's taking them all so long? Maybe they wouldn't "need" a laptop for taking notes if they did.
ReplyDeleteI thought this was going to be about "I have As in all my other classes.", but the laptop one is worse. They might think it's just an urban legend that we have access to their transcripts, including transfer credits. But they have to know we see them when they see us seeing them.
ReplyDeleteI gave an assignment that was due on the same day as a quiz. One girl told me as she turned in her quiz that she e-mailed it earlier in the day. Two hours later I got the time stamped e-mail. I told her that when I announced "I'll take them via e-mail until 9 PM." she should have figured out that lying about the time of an e-mail was not only stupid, it was unnecessary.
I recently spent a class sitting up at the back of a large first-year lecture session, and so had a good view of the activities of students.
ReplyDeleteThe funniest thing I saw was a student who, while the prof was lecturing and interacting with his class, was watching a movie on his laptop -- and the film (at least the scene that I saw) was set in a college classroom, with a prof lecturing to and interacting with his class.
Frod, I don't think cursive is widely taught anymore. I know, me neither.
ReplyDeleteI recently attended three panels/seminars (in a single week) about social media. At least a third of the audience was glued to their laptops, Blackberries, or smart phones. I looked over a few shoulders. A handful of people were taking notes and posting the occassional Tweet about the seminar in order to generate hype about it (the Tweeters were mostly employees of the companies sponsoring the seminars). A few were answering work-related e-mails. The rest were reading about television programs and celebrities, checking their Facebook page, e-mailing and texting their friends - the usual. It struck me as hilarious that these people took time out of their workday to attend these panels, but couldn't even pay attention to a discussion of the very thing that kept them from paying attention!
ReplyDeleteFor the record, I think social media is mostly a waste of time. I'm insulted when I talk to my younger friends and they are texting or e-mailing on their phones. It's not because they think I am oh-so-boring, but only because the text or e-mail that just arrived is newer and shinier than the conversation we are having. Some people have jobs that require them to be accessible 24/7, and I understand that, but I don't understand ignoring real, live friends to text song lyrics to your high-school classmates.
But from business standpoint, social media presents rich opportunities. There is a lot of buzz about how it affects real-world events (like the agitation in Egypt). There is also a whiff of greed in the air, because a relatively small investment in social media campaigns can yield millions in profit. So, no matter how lame I think it is to be constantly 'wired,' I can't dismiss it as a complete waste of time.
I do think laptops ought to be banned from most classrooms, but not because students don't pay attention to the lecture, rather because even if they do type notes, those notes aren't retained as well as when they hand-write.
They never seem to even flinch at all when I catch them in a lie; they feel no shame or embarrassment. Their response is either to immediately change their lie to one that contradicts the previous one, all with a straight face, or to smile, as if it was all a game we were playing, and say, "Busted!"
ReplyDeleteYes, they think we're stupid. Everyone over thirty is, right? It calls to mind this advertisement: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8jFop1vftY
This semester has introduced me to the laptop problem that for more than 3 years I had been able to avoid.
ReplyDeleteI have a student who I know qualifies for ADA accommodations. I have had no problems with him pulling out the laptop when note-taking time begins. I cannot say the same for the other guy who now uses his laptop. Let's call him Douche.
Friday Douche had his laptop out WHILE I WAS GIVING A QUIZ. After the quiz I handed out material to each student and could see that Douche was feverishly working on correspondence via Linux or Ubuntu. Not only did he deny this WHILE I WAS LOOKING AT THE SCREEN WITH HIM, he also denied having the computer out during the quiz!!! And he denied all of this while giving me an eerie death-stare.
Monday I will have to deal with Douche. Did I mention that he works for computer services?
Prissy: what happened with Douche?
ReplyDeleteAs far as the computers in class go: I don't even care anymore. I figure if they want to piss away their education by watching movies or posting on FB how they're getting away with being on FB in class (this goes for texting, too), that's their problem. The only time I make a student put away his or her technological device is if we're doing a quiz or test or if students nearby seem distracted (i.e. they, too, start watching whatever movie said student is watching in class). I used to get all het up about it and now just don't give a damn. They can't get a good grade in my class or get full credit for participating if they don't take notes and engage.
The same students with computers don't seem to realize that they should be using the computer to check their participation grade online b/c as of right now, they're getting NO participation points b/c they're not participating.
I'm curious if anyone has done what I tried two years ago and requested that students who use computers in class email me the notes they are supposedly taking. I had students email me a perfectly fine outline of my lecture, WHILE they still did other things on their computers.
ReplyDelete