It snowed today. I had lots of material to cover, and they new that.
Snowflake 1: Can we use class time to discuss my grade?
Me: No.
Snowflake 1: But why?!!
Me: Sorry! FERPA violation. I can't discuss it during class, as I would be violating your privacy rights.
Snowflake 1: But I'm giving you permission to!
Me: Sorry! Doesn't matter!
Another snowflake: Excuse me! He's just trying to get you to answer a question.
Me: And I did. Questions about personal issues like grades are to be answered after class or during office hours.
<Snowflake 1 storms out of class with his cohort.>
Snowflake 2: Can we discuss my caring disability right now, in class?
Me: No. FERPA violation.
Snowflake 2: But I'm really having trouble caring today!
Me: I am too!
<Snowflake 2 leaves classroom.>
During office hours, the only person to stop by was another colleague who told me that the entire Administration building was laughing their a--ses off over the students who stopped by to complain to FERPA.
Thank you FERPA for helping me manage my classroom on snow days!
All right, I'll bite. FERPA?
ReplyDeletethey "new" that?
ReplyDeleteOkay, very bad spelling mistake. It was about 7:00am when I was writing this and I was still waking up. My most humble apologies! Please laugh with me!
ReplyDeletehaha. all is well. This morning when I saw frost on my car, I actually said "Crap, I have to pre-heat my windshield." Pre-heat = defrost? Sure. Mornings are cruel.
ReplyDelete:D
Thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteFERPA= Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act.
ReplyDeleteSince most lay-people don't know that much about it, it's easy to hide behind when you don't want to get into a discussion about a sensitive topic with or about a student.
In a nutshell, students have the right to keep certain information private (performance in class, personally indentifying data like social security numbers, etc). They may waive that right. If a student wants his or her dirty laundry aired and THEY bring it up, they've waived it IN THAT INSTANCE. It doesn't mean it is free game forever.
FERPA is usually used to avoid talking to Mom and Dad about Precious's grades. "But I pay the bill!" Well, quit paying until Precious stops withholding information. Either that or make Precious sign a waiver and have it put on file with the Registrar stating that specified, named individuals can access their records.
Hmm... Most interesting.
ReplyDeleteCorrect me if I am wrong, but I do not think there is anything in the law that actually defines how long an "instance" is.
Is an "instance" 1 second, 1 minute, or 5 minutes?
What if the student walks away to go get their backpack? Does FERPA "reset" when they do that? What if they don't leave the room?
What if the student breaks eye-contact during the conversation? Inquiring minds are thirsty!
I laughed a lot....I generally think of FERPA as synonymous with "pain in my ass" because I can't leave graded materials outside of my office for students to pick up, etc. But in this case, go FERPA!
ReplyDeleteBy all means, let's get the lawyers even more involved! ;) (For more on this subject see "The Death of Common Sense: How Law is Suffocating America" by Phillip K. Howard)
ReplyDeleteBy "instance" I meant within the context of the conversation. And by "context" I mean not coming back to it after a topic change or after class, etc. Also, I was also just trying to answer Jae/Jennie's question.
As I said in a comment to a previous post- they're all starring in their own reality show so there's no such thing as TMI, especially if they are the ones bringing it up.
The situation I had in mind was a before-or-after-class, one-on-one, everyone-still-milling-around type-scenario. If they asked the question in front of God and everybody, you could ask them (essentially), "Do you really want to go THERE? Now? With all these others around? Are you saying you're comfortable discussing this here and now?" If they are, you could answer their questions but don't volunteer any additional information. If they push for too much, then it's, "See me later about this."
All that being said, the s---storm you described sounds like a couple of s---flakes trying to derail the class, since they both left when their efforts were unsuccessful. Information not covered or that I missed because of something YOU did (running me off) can't be on the exam, amirite? In this case, use any tool at your disposal to fight them!
Great responses! We should use FERPA [and equivalents in non-States locales] to its full extent when it'll help us deal with students, FERPA is also there to protect us from student complaints that we violated their privacy rights - I could totally see students waiving their rights, a prof proceeding with a public conversation, and the student suddenly deciding that they've changed their mind, FERPA's back on, and it is time to file a complaint. FERPA should always be followed regardless of whether or not the student waived their privacy rights, as crazyprof did in such a kickass way.
ReplyDeleteI'd never thought of using FERPA as a means to dislodge the student who plants him/herself in between me and the rest of the class at precisely 30 seconds before the hour, and launches into a long and intensely personal inquiry or explanation, but, hey, I'll take whatever works. I usually just point out that I'd like to get the rest of the class started on an activity before taking any individual questions (and then, when they pop up again the minute I've started the activity, usually send them back to their groups, suggesting that they ask individual questions *after* class). But some of them are really insistent, and some sort of heavy-equipment metaphor -- snow plow, crow bar, etc. -- for the means of dislodgement is definitely appropriate.
ReplyDeleteI re-read my first comment with the clarity of an afternoon mind (I'm no morning person either.) "Hide behind" is defensive language. What crazyprof did was use FERPA as a judo-style offensive manuever. Crazyprof used what was designed as a student's tool against them to stop them from disrupting class.
ReplyDeleteWell played. That may be why Snowflake #1 and cohort stormed out.
Anytime a student wants me to waive their rights under FERPA, I tell them I'll need a written FERPA release form, available online. If they ask me for a web address where they can get one, I just tell them to type "FERPA release form" into Google or Bing or any other Internet search engine. Not a one has yet done this and presented me with a filled-out form.
ReplyDeleteAs the host of a kids' radio show in the '30s commented at the end of the show, thinking he was off the air,
"That ought to hold the little bastards."
What a great start to March. 3 posts in 2 days. And one was by Farto who is clearly just a made up character that one of the page's moderators writes.
ReplyDeleteGoddamn, I really thought I'd feel bad when the page folded. But after these last two days of cobwebs and no action, I think even you hard-liners realize this place is done.
See you over at Prof Hacker.
Oh, yes indeed. A slowdown at the height of midterm season is obviously indicative of the long-term health of a community full of professors. My marriage, sex life, hobbies, and the education of my children are similarly doomed to grind to a permanent halt, btw.
ReplyDeleteEgad, Ebeneezer, you are correct. The whopping 6 posts to ProfHacker over the same time period absolutely render College Misery negligible in the vast scheme of academic blogging.
ReplyDeleteAnd the 16 credited contributors/editors at ProfHacker. This definitely leads to a tighter, more aesthetically pleasing blog. Especially with such riveting posts as "Open Thread Wednesday" with a whopping one comment, "'Whats for Lunch?' Boxes and Bags Edition!", and the ever-interesting "Using DropPhox During Class to Manage Photos." Good grief, how do we keep up?
By the way Frod, great Yaro post. I look forward to the next one.
You don't need FERPA. You own/drive class time, own it. The more firmly you own class time, the better. The last thing you want to do is give the wee monsters any sense that class time is under any sort of external control. What you can do constructively is to firmly lay out your use of class time, and the reasons behind your approach.
ReplyDeleteInformation not covered or that I missed because of something YOU did (running me off) can't be on the exam, amirite?
ReplyDeleteBWAHAHAHAHAHA. You have a textbook. You have a reading assignment AND problem assignments. Class time is for helping you understand that material, but if you miss it, you still have the textbook. Cry me a river.