Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Pesty Patty

I have a Pesty Patty (I will try to avoid writing in the third person and utilizing the words they vs. he/she as it seems to offend some peoples sensibilities.) Pesty Patty wants to be a good student, she tries, but she is either missing some basic skills or she is trying to drive me to drink. I have been working with Patty to apply the concepts to her paper and to use the APA writing style. I have referred her for outside assistance as her needs far out weigh what I can offer a single student and still have time to eat and sleep, but she seems content sending me up to 10 emails a day asking me things such as:

1. How to cite a specific source

2. What definition she should use to answer a question

3. If she can cite her source a different way because she doesn't want to have to look up the info in the APA manual I have provided all students

4. How can she write in the third person

5. Then when I give her an example she states she doesn't want to know that she wants to know what question A, B, or C means.

I now dread checking my email and am fighting becoming passive aggressive after providing my hundredth example of how to cite a book with two authors. I want to scream "read the damned book!" Her emails are so disjointed and lack linear thought I am beginning to wonder if she is schizophrenic or bipolar. Unfortunately it is an online class so I will never see her and will never know. I just pray I can make it to the end of the term.

14 comments:

  1. Don't answer anything from her for a week. Then respond

    "Dear PP,

    I'm so sorry, I must not have got your last (n) emails. There must be something wrong with the server. re: your questions, the answers are all in the manual. Best,

    FML"

    repeat weekly. But no more than weekly.

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  2. You probably can't get away with weekly in an online class, but I would definitely answer at the maximum interval allowed by your school's policy for online courses, and as briefly as possible.

    And I'd repeat an answer verbatim if she asks the same question more than once, and answer as many questions as possible with some variation of "consult the manual." If she objects, point out that learning to apply the manual (in fact, a manual) is part of the point of the course, since, although she is unlikely to be able to use APA style in every academic and professional writing project she encounters from now on, she *is* likely to be expected to follow multiple style manuals over the course of her academic/professional career, preferably without further explanation from a teacher, journal editor, or boss. The goal isn't to learn APA style; it's to learn to apply the guidelines in a manual to a specific project.

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  3. as it seems to offend some peoples sensibilities

    You missed an apostrophe.

    You're welcome.

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  4. When I get frustrated over grammar, I find that it helps to make a quick trip to the bathroom to rinse the sand away.

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  5. Will this grammar nazis ever quit? The comments have lost quality over the last few days as post grading has increased.

    I want funny, snarky comments back. I want comments which relate to the topic of the post. I want CM to be fun again!

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  6. anonymous takes his job of being boring very, very seriously, CMP. Do not cramp his style.

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  7. Patty,

    You are being graded on learning how to apply APA to your writing. I have taught this to you several times. At this point in the semester, if you do not understand, then you must read your manual and take the advice of its author(s).

    Hugs & Kisses,

    The Prof who wants to beat you with the APA Stule Manual.


    And I am serious about telling her that learning APA is part of the course. She (and many others) think it's some optional add-on. It's not -- it's a requirement just as knowing most of the element symbols is a requirement for Chemistry (at least the major elements).

    Patty sounds just like a student who is NOT READY FOR COLLEGE. Does she even know what third person is?

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  8. I once had a student ask me what comma splices were (a reasonable enough question). I had articulated, on the syllabus and in class, that if students had questions about my markings on their paper, they should first consult the style manual and then feel free to ask me. So, naturally, I asked this young gal whether she had looked it up and tried to learn it for herself. She responded, "No, I wanted to, but my room is really messy and I couldn't find where I left it."

    Explaining comma splices, which I did, wasn't a huge burden. But when I think back to weak-ass excuses of yore, that is often the first that comes to mind.

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  9. The problem is that although PP is not ready for college, she can make scathing comments about you to your dean or on evals.
    For example:
    -FML never answers my questions. I am trying to learn, but the course is hard. If my questions were answered, I would do well.
    -FML doesn't tell me what he (sic-possibly) wants. Instead he takes off points for not doing something he never told me to do.
    -Takes a long time to answer emails.
    -Grading policy is unclear.

    All of these can kill you, even if factually untrue. You can show the policy and it could be absolutely clear, but the comment remains in the dean's mind. Since these comments are anonymous, you can never argue that they came from a snowflake.

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  10. Indeed! Insulting trolls is usually the best way to make them go away!

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  11. Gauss - FML can keep a record of emails, and print them up in case of difficulties with the student evals. If there is only one person in the class saying all these things, and she can show she's exchanged 300+ helpful emails with that person, I think she will be fine. Or he.

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  12. Or rather"exchanged 300+ emails with a student who is likely the problem student", I think the administrators will also have no problem identifying the two.

    If half her class is saying these things on the other hand ... but one twerp is not an issue. I taught a class of 80 people once, one of whom REALLY didn't like me, gave me 1/5 on every question on the student evaluation form, and said mean things besides. But nobody else did, so it didn't matter.

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  13. And, Gauss, students lie like rugs anyway.

    This web-site is full of stories of out-right lies students tell.

    This is why those anonymous complaints on evaluations are a problem that the big faculty unions should tackle immediately. If those in charge don't care about evidence, you're always and already screwed upon arrival.

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  14. Apparently FML is me. I am having this same experience with one of my students. It's so very frustrating, and I so want to be patient. I genuinely like this student, and she does have some documented mental issues which contribute to her anxiety.

    But I almost cringe when I see her worried face at my door, knowing that it will mean another hour-long discussion/reassurance/redirecting session.

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