So, there I am minding my own business, when suddenly I am gripped by "OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD KILL ME NOW" sort of pain.Naturally, the first thing I did was ignore it. (It's a guy thing.)
But, finally, it got the best of me and medical attention was sought.
A few hours later I was sent home with instructions that the condition should resolve itself shortly but until it does, I was given a ticket to visit Bill Engvall's Vicodin Land.
It turns out that in doctor-speak, "shortly" could mean "a week or two" or however long it takes to wheedle an appointment with a specialist for follow up.
I'm thinking "Sweet ... I've basically got a doctor's note saying I am unable to work for up to two weeks. I've been teaching for over five years, so plenty of sick time is banked." And then I remembered -- "Oh frick, I'm an adjunct ... where "sick time" is a metaphysical fantasy."
So ... do I carefully craft a boilerplate B+ grade comment and cut-and-paste it to every pending assignment?
Or do I, with the help of my new friend Vicodin, grade as I normally would, knowing that no longer is my truth filter engaged and I am likely to tell the many flakes in my charge just how flaky they are?
Can I claim diminished capacity during a grade appeal? "I'm sorry Dean, but due to a medical condition, I was unable to keep myself from telling Franky the Flake Flake the truth about the quality his paper."
I would craft a middle approach- don't just write the same B+ boilerplate comment on every student's assignment, but don't get too engaged with it either. When I'm pressed for time or otherwise not functioning at 100% while grading, I usually try to identify the 5-10 main problems that students have with the assignment, look for those problems, and write fairly standardized comments accordingly. It's also helpful to have 2-3 good points that you can say "Good point!" about- this tends to make things better for you come eval-time.
ReplyDeleteI do hope your medical situation gets resolved quickly. Good luck.
Okay, so I'm going to answer this honestly, as I myself have adjuncted under the influence of all kinds of exciting medications...such as the one that twisted one side of my face into a rictus worthy of the Joker...or the one that caused my pupils to contract to pinpoints and my hands to twitch violently.
ReplyDeleteWhen I have to grade with comments, I ask one of my colleagues to gaze over them just to ensure that I am not saying/doing something completely lawsuit-worthy. A couple of my colleagues (who are not back-stabbing bitches) are happy to do this, as I regularly help out with 'awkward teaching moments' and sometimes proctor their exams for them.
And, there's always the "A 'Cause That's How I Roll" routine:
http://gleephilippines.tumblr.com/post/3479526963/you-get-an-a-cuz-thats-how-i-roll
Alternatively, I would suggest very minimal commenting with boilerplate. Make a list of common comments, and cut and paste. I did this when I taught Freshman Comp and no one was the wiser.
Do you have a trusted colleague, perhaps someone who owes you a favor, is a friend, or is just a decent human being who could carve out a little time for you? If so, I'd recommend having said colleague look over your comments before you send them out just to be sure you don't cross any lines. I don't know how you grade, but if you're the red-pen type, doing a quick write-up in Word and then running it past someone before you put it on the paper couldn't hurt. If you're already doing it electronically, that makes things easier. You don't have to give 100%. Just do a decent job, the best you can under the circumstances. That will already be more than many of your students put into the assignment.
ReplyDeleteI have done this for a colleague recovering from surgery. Unfortunately, she didn't take my advice on one particularly egregious statement and received Snowflake Wrath as a result. Once she was off her pain meds, she ended up having to apologize to a student.
I hope you're feeling better very soon!
Post all your comments to students here. We'll let you know which are our favorites. You can then not use those.
ReplyDeleteI need to introduce you to Vicodin's even more pleasant friend, Percocet.
ReplyDeleteIf it were OTC I wouldn't ever leave the house.
I learned this one the hard way:
ReplyDeleteInebriated algebraists cannot do intermediate algebra.