I'm a glorified adjunct ("visiting instructor". All the adjunct like fun of being the department's last priority and having zero security, but at least you only have to work on one campus.) Who should know how the shit works? The glorified adjunct, or the people with tenure and retirement benefits and 20 years in the same office? I would guess the latter, but apparently I'm the only one who knows how to put paper in the fucking copier or even where the fucking paper is kept. I would be happy if someone just tore a pack open and left it on the desk, like deer feed. But no - nothing - it just gets used up and then literally days will go by where no copying gets done by anyone. Until... I go get more and fill the machine and leave a few reams on the desk and lo and behold, just like hungry deer, they all emerge from their offices with days and days of copying to do. It's right in that fucking metal closet in the secretary's office, next to the one where you get chalk, you idiots!!!
It's
RIGHT
THERE.
These same people grumble around the coffee maker about how their students are "devoid of curiosity".
I have to assume my internet identity has been found out and they think it's a title with responsibilities.
How many copies would a wombat make if a wombat could make copies?
ReplyDeleteA wombat would make all the copies a wombat could make if a wombat could make copies.
Not quite as tongue-twisting as the original, but interesting in its own way.
Actually, I'm thinking that wombat+copier might = multiple copies of a very fuzzy behind.
But instead they get fresh paper and clear copies (and cheap teaching of necessary courses). Sounds like a pretty good deal (for them).
Remember the Far Side cartoon with dogs and the "doorknob principle?" These maroons haven't figured out the "copy paper principle."
ReplyDeleteI'm not quite sure what the "copy paper principle" is myself, but at least I know where to round up the little buggers.
I say let 'em go without copy paper. Only take out enough for yourself and put the rest back in their nice, safe cupboard.
I'm guessing they're the same morons who walk away after jamming the copier... or who use up all the staples without refilling the stapler... I think Contingent has it right! Fuzzy wombat behind copies coming up!!!
ReplyDeleteApparently wombat rumps are a design feat. http://inhabitat.com/amazing-natural-packaging-the-wombats-reinforced-rump/
ReplyDeleteRecently I fixed our department copier and discovered that it wasn't jammed with tenured professor work...oh no...no, it was jammed with advanced male graduate student work. This is the fourth time in perhaps two weeks I've made this discovery of privilege. (There are four different offenders, incidentally, and yes, they are photocopying things with their names on the front.)
ReplyDeletePerhaps I'm a little too quick to attribute this stuff to gender, but I've yet to see a male colleague taking the copier apart to fix it...hmm...I guess that's still the little lady's job, huh?
@Blackdog
ReplyDeleteAn advanced male graduate student? How advanced? 9 or 12 inches?
Just kidding.
But anyway, next time, fill the copier with used paper. Accidently-on-purpose, place it so that the side that already has the writing is what gets printed on.
Now, if you get caught, just play the innocent "I was just trying to save the department money" routine and tell them you thought you were putting the paper in correctly. This is an easy mistake to make and they would probably believe it.
While you are at it, bring coffee for the staff and make sure it is decaf.
ReplyDeleteWa-ha-ha...!
@ Contingent Cassandra: Thanks for the smiles.
ReplyDelete@ Wombat: "Devoid of curiosity" seems the right diagnosis of this problem, though I suspect that a contributing cause is what EMH calls "disunderstandings. A disunderstanding occurs when a student pretends to be confused."
In this case, your full-time colleagues have chosen to disunderstand how the copier works so they don't have to deal with it. Kind of like how my mom disunderstood how to cook when we went camping, and my husband disunderstands how to check the family calendar before he makes plans. (He says it's too complicated.)