@BlackDog: I do that for free (well, as part of my salary), and call it a "conference." But, come to think of it, I haven't had much luck convincing the committee that does our salary reviews that I'm doing anything beyond the minimum when it comes to feedback to students. In light of that response (and the fact that there haven't been any actual raises available for at least 3 years, which makes the whole salary review thing something of a sham), maybe I should change business models.
@F&T: at this time of year, at least for those of us on the semester system, "I will post your grade for $5" might work better -- because of course the only reason we haven't done so is that the student failed to pester us soon enough (preferably within 24 hours of completing the final course exercise).
We all know anyone willing to write a paper (or even proof it) for $5 is gonna do a shitty job.
If only the snowflakes were that smart.
Dear God, the fresh Hell I have witnessed after peer review. Snowflake 1 thinks the essay of Snowflake 2 is brilliant. And fails to mention the missing bibliography. proofreadingFAIL.
The more I think about this, the more it seems like a good idea...it had occurred to me that I should auction off override codes to get into my classes...but I couldn't work out how to do that without leaving a paper trail unless the kid came to my office and then blah blah blah...
Methinks Strelnikov has turned in his grades, and is feeling a bit at loose ends.
Wanna grade some papers, Strelly? At this point in the semester, I might pay $5 apiece myself. On second thought, scratch that; I don't have tenure, the higher-ups at my school care a lot about student evaluations, and my students already think I'm a harsh grader. A few comments written by Strelnikov, and I'd probably be out of a job.
So I'll leave you to carry on your crusade, with or without BlackDog. You do realize it's long way from Philly to the nearest desert? Perhaps you should consider the Jersey shore swamps and/or dunes? Dump 'em somewhere near Atlantic City and the authorities might even blame the mob.
Sadly, Strelnikov, I'm taking the revolution to Starvistan tomorrow. For our first night, I intend to leave students in a Third World bus station overnight while I get loaded and bang a white expat in 'outdoor gear.' I plan on sending my good mate 'Adolph Bones' to fetch them and to charge them an outrageous amount of money for 'guiding' and 'portering.' I'll tell them they've just had a 'cultural experience,' and me and Lucky Bones will split the proceeds.
I should mention that Adolph is a former mercenary from the Lord's Resistance Army. He is very skilled in the methods of inducting and maintaining order among child soldiers...he's perfect for this job.
I will grade your damned paper for $5.
ReplyDeleteThat would be $500 per class per paper. Eureka!
Frog and Toad - don't let administrators know about that. They might see it as a good business model.
ReplyDeleteThis is totally undercutting my black-market business in pre-grading. For $15, I read your paper and tell you your 'estimated grade.'
ReplyDeleteThen you can decide whether or not you actually want to make a further effort.
Damn.
@BlackDog: I do that for free (well, as part of my salary), and call it a "conference." But, come to think of it, I haven't had much luck convincing the committee that does our salary reviews that I'm doing anything beyond the minimum when it comes to feedback to students. In light of that response (and the fact that there haven't been any actual raises available for at least 3 years, which makes the whole salary review thing something of a sham), maybe I should change business models.
ReplyDelete@F&T: at this time of year, at least for those of us on the semester system, "I will post your grade for $5" might work better -- because of course the only reason we haven't done so is that the student failed to pester us soon enough (preferably within 24 hours of completing the final course exercise).
ReplyDelete@Contingent Cassandra, Re: BlackDog: Everyone knows you get what you pay for. If you charged a nominal fee you'd probably get a better response.
ReplyDeleteYou guys know I'm joking, right?
ReplyDelete@Black Dog
ReplyDeleteI wish you wouldn't. This is a very serious site.
XOXO
Fab
;)
One BIG problem with this service though:
ReplyDeleteWe all know anyone willing to write a paper (or even proof it) for $5 is gonna do a shitty job.
If only the snowflakes were that smart.
Dear God, the fresh Hell I have witnessed after peer review. Snowflake 1 thinks the essay of Snowflake 2 is brilliant. And fails to mention the missing bibliography. proofreadingFAIL.
Is anyone else dying to know what Beaker Ben will (or won't) do for $5?
ReplyDeleteThe more I think about this, the more it seems like a good idea...it had occurred to me that I should auction off override codes to get into my classes...but I couldn't work out how to do that without leaving a paper trail unless the kid came to my office and then blah blah blah...
ReplyDelete* sigh *
YEAY! More people to hunt down and force to dig their own graves in the frigid night of some desert!
ReplyDeleteARE YOU WITH ME BlackDog?!
Methinks Strelnikov has turned in his grades, and is feeling a bit at loose ends.
ReplyDeleteWanna grade some papers, Strelly? At this point in the semester, I might pay $5 apiece myself. On second thought, scratch that; I don't have tenure, the higher-ups at my school care a lot about student evaluations, and my students already think I'm a harsh grader. A few comments written by Strelnikov, and I'd probably be out of a job.
So I'll leave you to carry on your crusade, with or without BlackDog. You do realize it's long way from Philly to the nearest desert? Perhaps you should consider the Jersey shore swamps and/or dunes? Dump 'em somewhere near Atlantic City and the authorities might even blame the mob.
Sadly, Strelnikov, I'm taking the revolution to Starvistan tomorrow. For our first night, I intend to leave students in a Third World bus station overnight while I get loaded and bang a white expat in 'outdoor gear.' I plan on sending my good mate 'Adolph Bones' to fetch them and to charge them an outrageous amount of money for 'guiding' and 'portering.' I'll tell them they've just had a 'cultural experience,' and me and Lucky Bones will split the proceeds.
ReplyDeleteI should mention that Adolph is a former mercenary from the Lord's Resistance Army. He is very skilled in the methods of inducting and maintaining order among child soldiers...he's perfect for this job.
(outdoor clothes reference: http://stuffexpataidworkerslike.com/2011/05/13/55-outdoorswear/)