Friday, May 27, 2011

Ten Things I Cannot Save You From As the Quarter Ends.

  1. Not having been to class, and therefore not having turned in the various in-class exercises,
  2. Not having done the reading, and therefore knowing nothing prior to the exam.
  3. Not having gotten documentation for your illness, car accident, dead Grandma, etc.
  4. Not having started your final paper.
  5. Not having taken the many opportunities to do the presentation part of your grade.
  6. Not having done well thus far, and not having met with me to discuss how to turn things around.
  7. Not having dropped my class during drop/add.
  8. Having submitted work and therefore being ineligible for a "Withdraw/No Work Submitted" grade.
  9. Not having done 50% of the work and therefore being ineligible for an incomplete.
  10. Yourself. Yourself. Yourself.

- Frog & Toad

8 comments:

  1. StrelnikovMay 27, 2011 at 7:25 AM

    11. The angry Russian professor waving an antique-looking revolver under your nose screaming "You are a fucking wrecker and in the glorious USSR, WRECKERS WERE SHOT!!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 27, 2011 at 9:40 AM

    Between #8 and #9, your students are screwed no matter what they do. The only choice remaining is to work hard. Sheesh.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Academic MonkeyMay 27, 2011 at 2:40 PM

    Has Frog & Toad relinquished posting rights??

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnastasiaMay 27, 2011 at 3:16 PM

    I see only one solution - buy a magical hat and wand. Then when they ask you for such help you must don your hat and speak thus "hold on whilst I turn into a magician and grant thee these wishes three," then hit them with the wand until they disappear from your office.

    ReplyDelete
  5. College MiseryMay 27, 2011 at 6:25 PM

    @Monkey

    F&T does not have posting rights. In an email to me she told she'd ask for them if she ever posted more regularly.

    I'm just glad to see her on the page, regardless of how the text gets there.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Crazy Math ProfessorMay 28, 2011 at 12:20 AM

    Anastasia, I'm now taking my Wizarding World of Harry Potter wand with me everywhere. That may be the most best bit of advice I've gotten off this blog!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wombat of the CopierMay 30, 2011 at 9:25 AM

    I want to reprint this in my syllabus.

    I know I'm late to the party, but I wanted to say that for about 62 hours now, but blogger wouldn't let me comment. I could post, but not comment. That's a lot of buts. You'd think in the last 62 hours I could have come up with a way to avoid that, but it's a holiday and I'm just getting the coffee going. So... (the ellipsis escape)

    ReplyDelete
  8. EskarinaMay 31, 2011 at 5:08 AM

    @CMP: Yes, what other blog could provide Frog and Toad's instant classic post, Anastasia's spell for making students disappear, and the laundry advice that appeared here in January?

    ReplyDelete

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