I hate dealing with the following students this week:
1. It was only a little late. Apparently there is a magical time of little-late and late-late that I have not been told about. Little-late is when it is snowflakes paper. Late-late is when it is anyone else’s paper.
2. Dean give a grade. Okay this one is not a student, but I really do not like when the Dean asks me to “give” a student a better grade when it goes against what is written in my syllabus. Why not just castrate me in front of my students and make an announcement that I have not authority on the first day of class?
3. This is my first online class. Yes Blackboard can be a little confusing, but if you are such a great student and have such caliber work shouldn’t you know to ask where to find an assignment before it is due? I cringe when I hear this is my first online class paired with I am a straight A student. I know I am in for a shit storm of inadequacy.
What passive aggressive ways do you get back at these people to save your sanity?
I don't know that there are any good passive aggressive ways to get back at your students. In fact, it's probably best not to. Return stupidity with kindness and the students won't have leg to stand on when they complain.
ReplyDeleteThe best revenge is reporting the D or F when a "Straight A" student, fails to meet any of the standards.
Oh dear God, where do I begin?
ReplyDeleteSnowflakes are BS generators (not to be confused with the degree that has the same initials). This should be converted into an alternate energy source.
You see, there are misunderstandings and then there are also disunderstandings. A disunderstanding occurs when a student pretends to be confused. The student who could not find the assignment is an example of a disunderstanding. I like to encourage these people that they are fully capable of figuring these things out by telling them: "If you could figure out how to send an email, then you are able to find the assignment." Thus, their very act of complaining calls their credibility into question.
As for students who want to use class-time to generate BS, I use FERPA every chance I get. It's not to be mean, but if some things aren't nipped in the bud then you can end up wasting significant amounts of class-time holding a "press conference" with questions ranging from "Well if so-and-so gets an extension, then I want one too!" to "Is the exam going to be on recycled paper?" I flat refuse to discuss any extensions during class.
As for the Dean (what an asshole), you can always do what I did when I worked for Lead Poisoning CC: fantasize about his pony-tail getting stuck in the door as the light-rail is departing.
"It was only a little late."
ReplyDeleteWhat's odd about that is that many of my students have gotten it in their heads that I don't accept late work. I know a lot of faculty, including some of my departmental colleagues, hold that policy, and I respect it, but it's not my way. It says so right in the syllabus: you'd think they never..... never mind.
This week I had a student call me at 11 pm to beg to turn in a late assignment. My "office" is at home. I returned the favor by calling them back at 7 am when I got up and told them no. It's the little things that make you smile :).
ReplyDelete@ EMH: "Disunderstandings." I think we have a new word for the CM Glossary!
ReplyDeleteMy mood improved a lot when I learned to blame the syllabus. I commiserate with Complaining Connie; I feel the pain of Just A Bit Late Justin; and then I turn to the relevant section of the syllabus and read it out loud sadly and with a big sigh. It's amusing how the Little Dears buy that The Syllabus is an entity independent of me.
Dear Student,
ReplyDeleteRead the free syllabus (RTFS).
Love,
Dr. O.
Disunderstanding--I LOVE IT! I'm with Eskarina on this. Add it to the glossary, please!!!
ReplyDeleteTotally. Love disunderstanding.
ReplyDeleteI like to say, "Well, if I do that for you I have to do it for everybody, and that's actually not possible with 100 students in the class."
But what I fantasize about saying is, "If you can explain to the class why you deserve this special favor and they don't, I'm happy to grant it."
Disunderstanding. I might have to use that in the future, if you don't mind.
ReplyDeleteThe Dean? Unless you're tenured then you're screwed. Just nod and do as he/she says. It is downright obnoxious that this was forced upon you but there are something that cannot be ignored.
As for the students, I will agree with CMP to avoid the passive aggressive bit. That can come back to haunt you. Just smile and nod and dream of ways of torturing your students as you fall asleep at night...
"Disunderstanding" definitely belongs in the glossary. It's a classic.
ReplyDelete#1 I have to admit I tend to cave to, if there is actually a paper (this usually appears in the form of an emailed plea to accept the attached paper even though the link on the LMS has stopped working because the deadline has passed). Since I post failing grades for longterm MIA students as soon as possible, these papers are usually just over 24 hours late. I should probably be stricter, but it just isn't worth the energy it takes to argue.
#2 The Dean is undermining the value of his/her institution's program, as well as your authority, both of which are totally inappropriate, but, as an adjunct you can't do much about it. Just tell yourself (not the Dean) that you are acting professionally, and he/she isn't. And, if you have any alternatives at all, look for other teaching gigs (adjunct or full-time), and/or other work altogether. Deans who don't support their faculty deserve to have difficulty staffing classes.
#3 Just keep explaining, as briefly as possible, preferably by pointing them toward already-mentioned resources. Be sympathetic ("yes, Bb can be a little confusing") but set clear expectations ("but most students get comfortable with it after using it for a week or so, and, in the meantime, everything you need to know is in the learning module/welcome email/screencast, so just keep referring back to that"). Maybe be a little bit flexible about deadlines the first time a tool is used (there are only so many tools), but strict after that (and make it clear that the flexibility is for the first use only). Those who are genuinely confused will, in fact, get it pretty quickly; those who want to be lazy or looking for excuses will get the message that you expect them to cope.