I am the top at all that I do.
Yes, Persistent Patrick, you are indeed the top on everything you do. You had the highest class average through the first project. Your test scores would have blown the curve, if there was one. You were awesome, and I appreciated your work.
Thing is, though, Persistent Patrick - you have to actually do something in order to be top at it. So all those projects and discussion board assignments and bibliographies you chose to skip - you got great big zeros on those. I'll give you this: you actually were top at failing the class. It was pretty impressive, your slide from the top to the absolute bottom.
And now you're determined to be on top of my last nerve, with your e-mails and Tweets. How the hell did you find my Twitter, anyway, you doof? Are you trying to be The Top of scary stalking?
I've booted you up the chain of command, Persistent Patrick. I'm going to be interested in seeing how long it takes you to make it to the top of that.
What's wrong with you for not being able to instantly recognize his genius?
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with you for having a Twitter account?
ReplyDeleteOk, this is scary.
ReplyDeleteHe did NOTHING all term and is blaming you for failing??!?!?!
Wait...I've been in your position before too. Let's hope he slithers away quickly.
My snakes often get some ignorant cog in the bureaucracy to call me everyday until I pick up the phone so they can demand I justify the failing grade to them. As if the complaint to the Dean of Students, who upheld the grade, wasn't the final word.
Good luck, Barb.