I just read
this article about anonymity on the internet. Well worth reading for all you CMers, because... you know, we all love Fab... we do, yes.... But when he loses his tenure because his prostitution business is discovered, he's going to need some cash to pay those child-support bills the state attorney general keeps sending him. And he'll sort through all our IP addresses and start blackmailing us. We're only as anonymous as he and Googleplexmonster allow us to be. He is so sinister. So you might want to read it.
But what really got me was the photo with the story. Those two kids smooching on asphalt in the middle of a riot. People get amorous anywhere.
Q. Where is the craziest place you've had sex on campus?
A. Be honest, dammit.
On the footpath connecting the football stadium's lights. 'Twas a long time ago...
ReplyDeleteIn the ... wait, do you mean the weirdest place on campus?
ReplyDelete@Lex: Choose your own superlative.
ReplyDeleteE.g., loveliest, most insect-ridden, coldest... whatever.
ReplyDeleteNever mind -- I was making an off-color joke but didn't have the spine to commit to it. All I have is a pretty dull parking lot encounter, alas.
ReplyDeleteIn college as a student, or as a proffie? :o)
ReplyDelete@CC: Yes. Or as a janitor or dean. Or in your previous life as a squirrel.
ReplyDeleteLex: was it the famous Newlyweds Game episode where the question is where is the craziest place your husband has made love to you and a woman answers: "In my butt"? By any chance?
ReplyDeleteEnd of a jetty right near campus. Cold, and scared of being killed and thrown off the end of it by homophobes.
The lab on a weekend when we assumed nobody else would be there.
ReplyDeleteWhy did Bubba have to wing me?!?!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, as to the question, I did it once in a colleague's office because he had a couch and I just had chairs.
Oh, was there supposed to be someone else there, too, or is that a followup question?
Fab
(whose only online business is selling desk copies of textbooks on eBay)
The really nice practice room in the music building—but only because, for once, someone had actually locked the back door to the recital hall stage.
ReplyDeleteOn the bleachers next to the track as a student. In my office (I have a couch) as a proffie. :o)
ReplyDeleteI once found students wedged between the department fridge and the wall (a space I wouldn't have fit into) getting it on. That was bizarre.
ReplyDeleteFrog and Toad: You win. Oh, and I love you forever and always.
ReplyDelete@Bubba:I have no fear of Fab, because, aside from his general trustworthiness and good will to all (which I've seen no reason to doubt), if he knows anything about me in real life, he also knows I'm broke.
ReplyDeleteHaving sex in the library stacks, preferably after hours, was considered quite daring when I was in college, but I can't claim to have tried it myself (and I'm not sure how many of the people who claimed to actually did).
As a student: on the roof of the outside performing arts center, which was designed in such a way that the corners of the roof came all the way to the ground. If you grabbed the right moment when no one was looking, you could sprint up the roof and settle in a hidden valley near the peak.
ReplyDeleteAs a grad student: in one of the cages in the library. Sound really travels -- it was pretty miserable overall, because the excitement was stifled by being so damn quiet.
As a researcher: in the Tuilleries Gardens just outside the Louvre in Paris, France.
As a lecturer: not on your life. I don't want to be the person splashed across Fox News about the Ivory Tower being invaded by perverts. (Not really news anyway, but I don't want to lose my job)
As a student: in the library stacks, very late at night.
ReplyDeleteAs a proffie: on the floor of an office. Not mine.
Ooo! Academic Monkey wins the hot locales award.
ReplyDeleteLex, you may be alone in that sentiment but it warms the cockles of my heart.
As a student: on the roof of my freshman dorm, because we both had roommates. Cold, tense, and worried about the asphalt sticking in my hair.
ReplyDeleteAs a proffie: you mean proffies have sex?
On a blanket on the roof of the football stadium pressbox under the moonlight. Lucky for me, the chick had a big heart. Really, years ahead of her time. I was a stupid undergrad. She says she's never told anybody about that night--otherwise I wouldn't be writing about it here. I can't even imagine what would've happened if she hadn't been there.
ReplyDeleteas an undergrad, near campus, on a blanket by a small fire built with driftwood along the banks of the Ohio River.
ReplyDeleteand them along came that damn barge with the spotlight and a crewman with a voyeuristic streak...
Nowhere, ever, I'm sorry to say, but I did make out quite often in the stairwells with one particular gal. Since we were both gals, we could also make out in bathrooms as long as we kept an eye on the door.
ReplyDeleteTOTAL side note: Eskarina, did you name yourself after the character in the Terry Pratchett novels?
ReplyDelete@Aware and Scared: Sure did! A young witch in the Unseen University. My avatar used to be an angry Eskarina brandishing a broom from fan art, but I switched to clipart to stay legal.
ReplyDeleteSide once more: she popped up in the last Tiffany Aching Novel, I Shall Wear Midnight. Pity Pratchett is going.....
ReplyDeleteYeah, that breaks my heart. The reviews haven't noted what I treasured most in that novel: the poignant memories of his youth and the acceptance of death.
ReplyDeleteI've been wondering whether you would call me on my oversimplification of Eskarina. But we've hijacked this thread, so enough with the book club.