Maybe "hungry" isn't the right word. How about "starving," "homeless," or "out of work"?
Lots of tenured proffies have been laid off during these last couple of years (just google it). Reputable colleges have closed. Adjuncts are earning practically nothing and expecting less next year. Millions of foreclosed homes. Oh, and gold.... jesus h, the whole world is so unstable that gold is now within pennies of $1600/ounce (well above the $300 it was fetching at the turn of the century) and still rising.
But for those of us below the Mason-Dixon, here's the real canary in the coal mine. This week, I received the following postcard (just plain black and white) via First-Class Mail in my mailbox:
Southern Living
July 7, 2011
Dear Dr. Bubba
Thank you for subscribing to SOUTHERN LIVING.
We originally promised that we would ship your first issue within weeks of receipt of order. We anticipate that we will not be able to meet that timeframe and will need an additional 30 days.
Please accept our apologies for the delay. If this delay is unsatisfactory, you may cancel your subscription and receive a full and prompt refund. If you wish to cancel your subscription, please call our toll-free customer service number 1-800-272-4101, or visit us online at
www.southernliving.com/custsvc
If we don't hear from you, we will conclude that you wish to keep your subscription. We value having you as a SOUTHERN LIVING subscriber and appreciate your patience.
Now, of course, no self-respecting Southerner is going to ask for a refund. We're all in this together. They need an extra month, so I'll give them an extra month. That's what friendly neighbors do. Hell, they must be in quite a bind--they didn't even have time to sign the letter or use proper punctuation in the salutation.
But, dear sweet jesus, if Southern Living gets darwinated, then who's to say my school won't be next? Or your school? Is anybody safe?
It's like the sweet girl I had a crush on just gave me a powerful jab in the solar plexus during recess. And all I can do is lie facedown in the dirt while everybody on the playground stares at me.
Lord, have mercy.
No self-respecting Southerner uses instant grits.
ReplyDeleteI take pride in my grits.
Bubba, that sounds like a normal case of "southern time" to me! Why I hear it takes southerners an hour and a half to watch "60 Minutes." Kiddin'! ;)
ReplyDeleteSeriously, "Garden and Gun" is the true southern lifestyle mag.
This is what happens when students who can't turn in an assignment on time eventually get jobs.
ReplyDeleteBen, you do realize that might not be much of a joke.
ReplyDeleteLots of degree-holders of the past are running our current businesses. And they often got slid through too, just like today's snowflakes.
alas, many of our state legislators were those students who got a C+ in their business class 30 years ago and now think "they can run government like a business" ignoring the fact that a very large percentage of businesses fail...
ReplyDelete