But seriously, how much of this are we supposed to take?

What's that? You flunked the first test royally? You flunked the first test royally, yet refused to drop the course despite this worst-case signal? You never even bothered to show up to collect your test to learn from the detailed feedback provided? And now just hours before the second test you're conveniently "sick"? And you don't expect to be back on campus "until next week," likely because you've skipped town and don't want to come back to write a make-up test this week? No worries. I'm a moron who just started doing this yesterday, so I'll believe it all. Sure, I'll give you a make-up exam. Study hard! Really, really hard. Because there are make-up tests, and then there are make-up tests.